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Fern stared at the toilet. Then stared a little harder. The tears were dry on her cheeks now, the pain dulling slightly, and all that remained was numb feeling all around her. The silence echoed like she was beneath waves. She hadn't even known. Of course, there'd been that moment perhaps two months before where she and Aegon had not been as careful as they usually were but... She'd not known. She'd never even guessed that she was with child. Not that she was anymore. She slumped to the floor, back pressed against the door. It had started with a sharp pain. Then blood. Then something else. Now there was nothing. And all she could do was call out to Cedra that she couldn't have any visitors at the moment. Fern sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand as more tears fell down her cheeks. The older woman chastised her through the door, dubbing her a lazy time waster. And Fern took it as she stared at the toilet. She stayed there for only minutes, even though it felt like an eternity. With a deep breath, she wiped away her tears and left the room. “Fern? Your Prince is here.” Cedra shouted through the door, giving her seconds notice before Aegon entered. She straightened herself, forcing on a false smile only to be met with a serious look. She could still feel the cramps, the nauseating feeling of that... Thing dropping out of her. A baby she'd never known about. No, not a baby. It wasn't a baby. It was a tiny little lump that'd fallen out of her. “What's the matter with you?” She asked, voice filled with false breeziness. Never let them see you falter. Never let them know you feel. That's not why men come here. That's what they come to escape. That's what Cedra had told her. To paint a smile onto her face no matter what. To fake it. To pretend. To never let anyone know. So she pretended. “I need to talk to you.” Aegon said. It was strange seeing him so serious. Like seeing a kitten cry. Despite her own predicament she wanted to hold onto him and make sure she was alright. She sat down on her bed, patting the spot next to her. But he stayed standing. “What? Are you dying? You're being very odd.” “I'm to be married.” Aegon cut through her. She blinked at him. “To Helaena. Mother told me just before I left for Driftmark but... I thought I could make it go away. It isn't going away. I'm marrying her.” Fern nodded. “And?” “And it's happening next week.” “Next week? Seven Hells, Aegon, you kept that secret to yourself rather well.” She laughed. He stared at her. “Fern... I don't want to marry her.” “I doubt you'll get much of a choice in the matter though, will you?” He shook his head, slumping down beside her sullenly. “No.” “We can run if you want.” She suggested. “But who would look after your little brothers?” “They don't need me.” Fern wanted to roll her eyes but she didn't. He was being sincere. Gently, she wrapped an arm around him. “Of course they need you. Aemond lost an eye on his own. Daeron is still only small. They need you far more than you realise.” He held onto her, resting his head on her shoulder. Fern gently stroked his hair, comforting him. She couldn't close her eyes. Every time she did, she saw that... That thing. She saw the life it could've had. She saw the life she could've had. She didn't want to see any of that. Didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to wallow in this sinking feeling she felt. It served no purpose. Led nowhere. “Listen, Princess Helaena is kind is she not?” Fern said. Aegon rolled his eyes. “She's an idiot. She–” “But she's kind.” “I suppose.” “And she keeps to herself. And, in all truth she probably doesn't particularly want to be married either.” “So?” “So, it's not like you're going to have to change your way of life very much. You can still come here. You can still drink and gamble and have fun and run away from all that your family wish to impose upon you. There's still hope. The only difference is that you'll share your room with your sister now too. But it's not like you're ever there anyway.” He shrugged. “Perhaps you're right.” “I'm always right.” Slowly, he leaned up to look at her. His big sad eyes were so bright and wide and Fern felt captivated by them in a way she couldn't explain. “And you don't mind? You're not angry?” She laughed. “Why would I be angry? I'm your whore Aegon, not your betrothed. It isn't like you and I were ever going to be married.” He paused for a long moment, searching her face for something. “Would you marry me? If you could? Would you?” She touched his cheek. “If you asked me, and if I could, I would marry you. Whether you were a Prince or a pirate or a fat farmer. I'd marry you.” He sighed in relief before kissing her. Fern had realised long ago that that's all Aegon really wanted. To be someone's choice. To be loved and appreciated. To be believed in. It didn't take much to end his sullenness and turn him into something so... Strangely gentle. None of the other girls believed it was true. That he was soft and sweet with her. But he always had been. Because she'd always chosen him. He kissed her neck, moving to undo the laces of her dress. Fern stayed his hand. “I can't.” She whispered. He furrowed his brows at her, looking her up and down. “What's wrong?” “Nothing, I– You didn't... I didn't get paid yesterday. There was another man and... I can't work. I haven't been able to since. I'm sure it'll be fine soon.” Aegon's jaw clenched. “He hurt you?” “I'll be fine. That's my job.” She looked down at her hands. “I can bring in another girl if you'd like or just use my–” He pulled her in to kiss her, quieting her. Fern rested her head against his as their lips parted. “Can I stay with you tonight? We don't have to do anything.” She smiled gently, nodding. Aegon lay down on her bed. Fern lay down beside him. She wrapped an arm around his waist, his back flush against her front, and held him. He held tightly onto her hand. “I wish I could see you every day. I wish I could keep you with me.” He said. “I wish... I wish I could marry you instead.” Fern laughed, pulling him in closer. “No you don't, Aegon. You just think you do. It'll go away with time.” “No.” He promised. “It won't.”
