In Waves | ✔️

36 | havens and hurdles

Nate was right. As the weeks have ticked by, I'm seeing the positive side of the differences between me and Matt. Opening ourselves up to each other's way of life and keeping my promise to Rob with every new experience I try. We meet in the middle, just like I do with Rachel.

I finally went to Stingray, and even though I was racked with nerves when Matt got me in with his smooth talking, it ended up being fun. Not fun enough for me to go out and get a fake ID so I can rush back any time soon, but fun enough for my feet to form blisters from dancing with Rachel. 

And there was an upside to being in a buoyant sea of sweaty bodies I'd usually despise - they didn't give us much choice in being squished together on the dancefloor. How could I not enjoy myself with Matt's hands practically cemented to my hips.

I've also been over to Sean's house with Matt and the team after a game, and he's come over to my house for a quiet night in. Sometimes he eats lunch with me alone in the quad, sometimes we eat in the cafeteria with his friends, and sometimes it's just me and Rachel, or I join Nate's group on the wall behind the gym. Which I don't think Rob is a fan of, and I know for a fact Alex isn't.

She tolerates me to keep up appearances, but my budding closeness to the group—specifically Nate—gets under her flawless skin more than she can ever admit. And frankly, I tolerate her equally.

Since I found out about her cheating, all I want to do is confront her about it. Cheating is abhorrent, and cheating on Nate? I can't comprehend it. Or the fact that he's still so open to being friends with her.

Every time they're together I want to wedge a stick between them and prod her away from him, and I get the feeling that Blake shares the same sentiment. He's good friends with her, but the bitterness in his voice at the bonfire was clear.

I don't think he's been as forgiving as Nate has, and like me, he sees that grip she has on him not loosening anytime soon.

Hanging out with all of them isn't a habit, though. At least, not at school. I'm more in Matt's world there. People look at us like we're these shining orbs floating around. Well, he's floating, I'm stumbling. Catching his shine from the side. And being alone with him is rare at school.

It's as if he has a gravitational pull, everyone always wanting something, craving the slightest bit of attention from him. And with our relationship status, people seem to want my attention as well. Not as much as his, but they're there. Cornering me, talking to me, inviting me places, interested in every boring little thing I say.

It's exhausting, and while he's used to it, I can't imagine that he wouldn't be exhausted either. But if he is then you'd never know it.

We get our alone time in when we can. He's been picking me up in the morning, and while I miss Nate's Tupperware of sweet treats, starting the day with Matt gives me a boost like no other. His hand now has permanent residency on my leg when he drives. Stroking my skin, squeezing my knee. Touching no matter what.

Day by day, it's getting harder and harder to keep our hands to ourselves. If we're early in the morning then we stay in his car and make out in the parking lot; thrills go through me when he pulls me onto his lap whenever he can, and sneaking off with him under the bleachers during gym is worth any trouble we might get in. That's coming from someone who's avoided trouble for as long as I've had a beating pulse.

It's only kissing, but with the growing frequency of his wandering hands, I know the next step is coming soon. Whenever and whatever that may be.

Aside from finding my footing with Matt, I've also found it in the rest of my blooming social life. Which is really just surf lessons with Nate, but it's still contributing to the most socializing I've ever done, so I'm counting it.