Empty...

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As my father told me, I quickly started to get upstairs. This house was huge but the one thing it was missing was warmth. It was in a nice location, the area was also quite peaceful but it was empty. There were pictured of a happy family on the wall but this family lost that spark for soo long now. There was nothing that was actually holding this household together. My father was still trying to do this and he was really doing a good job but it was not the same without my mother.

Me: *sigh*.... I really look like a mess.

Finally after a bit, I got to the bathroom and for the first time since I entered the house, I looked at myself in the mirror. I still looked the same. I looked like small beansprout with freckles and being just a country pumpkin. I mean there was nothing that was actually screaming teenager at all. For most of the people, I was still a kid. 

My chubby cheeks and then the freckles in combination with my unruly nature deep green hair was not making it any better. Oh how I missed my mother. She used to be a small chubby cute and wonderful as well as heartwarming person as well. I don't know what happened for het that this incident occurred. No one ever suspected something at all. She was a happy woman and she was really great. Nothing really was there that could have actually given us or anyone else a sign. Maybe then we would have been more prepared. However, there was nothing and it just happed. This was the main reason this whole house felt this lonely and cold.

To tell the truth, I hated how I looked in the mirror. Whenever I would look into a mirror, I would think about my mother. That was definitely not something I wanted since I was the last person who saw her and the one who found her.

Me: Alright... breathe..... let's get the leave out of my hair first.... and then shower....

I had to talk to myself sometimes. I don't know why but it just came over me. There were also times, I wanted to just kind start ranting and I would. All kind of topics would escape my mouth and there wouldn't be any kind of end at all. I don't really know from who I have that but I kinda have it from someone, right? My mother used to tell me to try and think more in my head but my head was messed up and overflowing with stuff. How was I supposed to actually start thinking even more when all I had in my head was nothing but pure chaos? 

Can you blame me though?

I needed to manage school, famil, life, after school activities and then also my own feelings and my thoughts. It was too much for a kid like myself. All I want is to survive and not think about anything more I had to think about and wasn't it enough that I had to actually think about all the pain I would receive each and every day, mental as well as physical pain. There was never anything stopping anyone and Kacchan was the worst. So how am I to live with this? How was I supposed to get through this?

Slowly yet determind to get finally done with my shower, I started to take off my clothes carefully of the bruises I had all over my skin and then started to look around if there was any burned skin I got as well. Thankuflly it was nothing but just bruised skin. This was not that bad is what I loved to say but that was not the truth at all. It hurt and it was also something that would take time to heal and I didn't had that time at all.

Anyways, once I got into the shower, I started running cold water over my body since it kind was more refreshing right now and after that I got down back to my father who was waiting there for me already.

Dad: So what happened?

Me: Nothing.

Dad: That is not nothing.

Me: .... fine..... I ran home from the station and managed to step over a root and fall... happy now?

Dad: Ohhh Izuku... how many times do I have to tell you to be careful on your way here. The forest is not a place where you should just start running around. What if you get hurt more?

Me: Well we do live in a forest... what do you want me to do?

Dad: ... We had this discussion. I am not gonna abandon this house. The dream house of your mother.

Me: ....

Dad: ... I am sorry. Here I made one of your favorite dishes. 

Me: Thanks dad.

Since I was sitting across from my father on the table, it was quite easy to take the plate he was offering me. I mean it was not as if I couldn't have taken some food out of the pan he had right in between us at all but he insisted to still put the food on my plate and then give it to me. 

Dad: Anything interesting at school?

Me: No.

Dad: How about your grades? Homework?

Me: As always.... pretty annoying.

Dad: I hated them as well when I was young.

Me (whiserping): Yeah but you were not quirkless....

Dad: What was that?

Me: Nothing.

Dad: Just tell me honestly. I am not mad at you and you know that.

I did. I really did but I couldn't just bring myself to tell him about how hard I am having it at school. Everyone knew about my mother, and they knew about what happened. To top it off, I was quirkless! How was I supposed to fight back? They are going at it and falling on to me. There was no escape and I was just having enough of everything. What was I really supposed to do? I am trying to fight back! I am honestly trying! I am telling them to leave me alone that that topic is not something I want to discuss and that it is offlimit but they are still going at it.

Ohh how I hated the world.

If anything, sometimes people could just go and die!

I wouldn't for sure mind it at all!

As I was thinking like that, I could see my father smiling at me and he knew that I was suffering. I could tell something like this because he was just looking at me with pitty. Though that was honestly the worst. I didn't needed pity! What I needed was a father who was backing me up and not someone who didn't know what to do at all.

Me: I miss mom....

Dad: Me too... Me too... but we can't change things.

Me: I know...

Dad: If anyone is giving you hell because of this, tell me about this. 

Me: I will...

Just like that we continued our meal in silence. There was not really much to talk about. My father was a detective and sharing his very own cases was something he refused to do. Not as if he was actually allowed to tell me anything but then again we were family so he should be able to let off some steam and rant about it sometimes.... but NOOOOOO! There was just nothing. He refused to actually say anything at all. He would always say that it was because he didn't wanted to scare me off or that all his work has any kind of influence on me. Whatever that was supposed to mean.... though... I would for sure love to know about some of his cases. They just seemed so interesting or maybe it was because I didn't know anything about them, that they were soo mysterious to me. Who knows, I for sure expected more but there was just.... this empties we both had.


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