Airball

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The sun filtered into the room through cracks in between the panels of the curtains and the dust motes dancing lazily through the air.

There was a contentment in my mind and a pleasant soreness between my legs that had everything to do with the man currently wrapping a large hand around my thigh and pulling me even closer to the body I was already inexorably curled around.

For once, there was no painful thud of my anxious heart ringing in my ears and pounding through my veins in a reminder of everything that I was running from.

For once, there was a set of peace swimming around inside of me that had everything to do with him.

The veins of his arms protruded from his muscular arms as they curved around my waist, one hand cupping my breast and the other perched precariously close to my neck, an embrace of ownership that made me feel as if I owned him just as much as he did me.

There was a sleepy smile on his face as his eyes blinked once, twice.

"Good morning."

He grinned, a pearlescent smile that matched mine and intensity and emotion.

And what a good morning it was.

"How did you sleep?"

His rainwater eyes stared down at me as I turned in his arms, my breath catching at the sight of his ruffled and unkempt hair, its inky strands splayed about the pillow like a halo of shadows and darkness though his disposition was one of sunshine and cloudless days.

"Not very well actually...someone kept waking me up every few hours to either fondle me or something a little more...intense."

He couldn't stop the satisfied smirk from slipping on to his kiss-plumped lips.

"Oh, did they now? Please point me in their direction so that I may punish them for stealing away your beauty sleep, my darling."

"And just how, may I ask, are you going to punish yourself?"

His laugh reverberated around me, the room swelling, filling with his joy as the sun peeked its head out from behind a cloud and shone fully into the dorm, highlighting the still made bed from his roommate, the basketball trophies, the ratty old t-shirts on the floor, the bowl of noodles that he hadn't taken down to the kitchen from presumably the day before.

It was the room that I would remember forever, the room where I had given myself fully and wholeheartedly to the man underneath me.

Gone with the pain from what Franny had said to me the day before, gone was the heart-wrenching ache of giving my father an ultimatum, and finally, gone was the grief that still lingered even long after my mother's body had been put into the ground.

Grief that I had been fighting with since she left me all those years ago, grief that I could finally put a stopper in.

Because grief might have been my past, but finally, I could see a way, a path toward a new future that didn't revolve around taking care of other people, but focused instead on my own wants and needs, on the life that I had neglected living for so long.

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