the way i loved you

when i was drowning, that's when i can finally breathe

a/n: thank you so much for your kind comments, everyone! this chapter will be on third person's pov. enjoy!

"Ten months sober, I must admit. Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it,"

"I'll pick you up at 7?" asked Engfa on the phone.

"Yeah, that'll be okay. My class will end at 6:30, just wait for me outside," replied Yoko.

"Okay. I love you," Engfa said with her sweet voice, hoping for it to be reciprocated. A girl's gotta dream, she smiled to herself.

"Yeah, likewise," but today still wasn't her lucky day.

In their 3 months of dating, Yoko never said those three words to her. Engfa understood her, though. Their relationship started when Yoko was in the middle of getting over a broken-heart. Engfa never took that personally, shaking the thought of her being Yoko's rebound. She never thought of that despite it being partially true. She liked Yoko the first time she saw her. And Yoko had been honest with her about everything since the beginning. Yoko never really wanted to date her for the reason of she's still healing from her past, and wasn't ready to enter a new relationship yet. But Engfa was nothing but persuasive. She believed that Yoko will eventually heal from her past and will learn how to love her in no time. She's still hopeful that day would come.

Engfa knew everything. She told her everything, and Engfa understood her. She said she will wait. That she will help Yoko get over her past.

She never asked who broke Yoko's heart, though. She didn't know they're name, she didn't know what they looked like. All she knew was that she's an idiot for breaking Yoko's heart.

It became her mission to make Yoko happy. She never asked for anything too much, she let Yoko set the phase of their relationship. She's willing to wait for the right time where Yoko will finally be able to say those words to her.

She loves Yoko. And she's willing to wait no matter how long. She know that Yoko will give her whole heart to her when the time is right. She'll just have to give her time.

"Okay, love. Please, hang up the phone now." she said and the call ended.

Yoko sighed. She heard those three words again. Up until now, she couldn't say those words back to Engfa. She felt like she still wasn't ready. It wasn't fair to say those words when you don't mean them, right? It would hurt Engfa even more.

She wanted to be honest to Engfa all the time, so she won't lie about those words to her.

"Was that Engfa?" Folk asked her.

She nods. "Yeah, she'll pick me up at 7,"

"Why's your face like that?" he raised his eyebrow at Yoko and then went to squint them as if criticizing Yoko.

"Like what?"

"Like a... sad... hamster."

Yoko pinched Folk in his arms, "You're not funny,"

"I wasn't joking," Folk rolled his eyes, "Is there a problem? You know you can tell me everything, Yoko."

She contemplated on telling him what happened the last day at the coffee shop, but she thought it would just be a bigger problem if she thought about it too much, so she decided to shrug the thought off her mind and smiled at Folk instead. "Of course I know that. You'll be the first to know if there's a problem. I am not sad, I just feel empty right now."

Folk nodded his head. "You know, I know you all too well that I already know you have a problem. But, it's okay if you don't wanna talk about it. I'll be here if you change your mind." Folk grabbed my by my shoulder and hugged me sideways. "You're my little sis,"

She leaned her head on Folk's shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered.

The night came and Yoko was on her way out of the campus. When she got outside, she immediately spotted Engfa's car in the small parking lot in front of the campus. Engfa noticed her with a smile and waved her hand at her. Yoko automatically smiled at the sweet gesture. It's like Engfa's always there, that no matter where she goes, Engfa will always be there.

Engfa never made her wait.

Her heart fluttered at that thought. She should be focusing on what's in front of her now, she shouldn't be dwelling on her past, she thought. Engfa's so incredible. Becky and Folk once told her she's lucky to have Engfa by her side, it made them jealous. It's a fact.

Engfa says everything she need to hear, everything that made her smile, made her heart happy and made her feel loved and adored. She couldn't ask for anything better.

Engfa was leaning on the driver's seat side of her door while her arms were crossed, a smile occupying her face. Her dimples were revealed, she's so gorgeous. She was wearing a black turtleneck and a worn out baggy jeans and black high-cut converse. Yoko smiled back at her, this time, genuinely.

"Hello, Miss Beautiful, do you need a ride?" she took Yoko's hand and kissed it gently while still looking at Yoko's eyes.

Yoko's heart leaped, she blushed and retracted her hand from the grasp of Engfa's hand to pinch Engfa's cheeks. "Romantic-wanna-be," Yoko teased.

Engfa rounded her car and went to open the passenger seat's door, "Shall we?"

Yoko smiled and went inside Engfa's car, she settled down on her seat, feeling perfectly fine.

This is fine, she thought. She just have to focus on the present, and should leave her past behind for good.

Faye never made her feel this way. She deserve better than what Faye made her feel. She deserve so much better, and for her, it's Engfa.

------

They were lying in Engfa's bed, cuddling while waiting for sleep to take over them. Yoko's head was in Engfa's chest. Engfa's arms underneath yoko's head. Yoko was playing with the necklace on Engfa's neck, it was a locket necklace with heart shape. Inside the necklace was a picture of a younger Engfa, the other side was empty.

She always wondered why it was empty, but was too shy to ask Engfa about it. But curiousity got the best of her now, so she asked.

"Why is the other side of you locket empty? Is it always like this?" the younger woman asked. She felt Engfa shifted in her position a little bit.

"You're curious about my necklace?" Engfa asked her in a groggy voice and chuckled lightly, she sounded sleepy.

"Hm. It's a locket, it was supposed to have two pictures in it, but yours has only one. Why's that?" Yoko asked still fiddling with the necklace. Engfa's beautiful even when she was young.

"Do you want me to put yours on the other side?" whispered Engfa, she's half asleep now, Yoko can tell.

Yoko thought for a bit. It's sweet that Engfa's willing to put her picture on her necklace. It made her feel tingly inside. But she wondered why Engfa seemed to be avoiding her question. Maybe Engfa doesn't want her to know the story behind her necklace, so she dropped the question and decided to never raise the topic again. She never knew if that made Engfa uncomfortable.

"I'm fine with it," Yoko answered and flipped the locket close. She went to check Engfa after she heard nothing from the older woman.

Yoko smiled endearingly at the scene before her eyes, Engfa was finally asleep, her right arm was wrapped in Yoko's shoulder and the other was on her forehead, her mouth slightly open, a faint snore could be heard.

Yoko couldn't resist the urge to kiss the woman, so she went closer to the sleeping woman's lips and gave it a small peck. "Good night, Miss Romantic," and she settled herself inside Engfa's embrace.