the way i loved you

you drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding

"I knew i'd curse you for the longest time, chasing shadows in a grocery line. I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired, and you'd be standing in my front porch light. And I knew you'd come back to me,"

I was young when I first fell in love. I was 18 by that time. Most of the old people always say, 18 year-olds are nothing but hormones-driven teenagers. Some petulant young people who knew nothing about anything, because they accused them of being clueless, reckless and irrational. Everything the 18 year-olds did was just to seek pleasure. All just because you were young. And when you are young they assume you know nothing.

But the very first time I saw you, I knew i'd be down so bad for you. I knew you'd still linger like a tattoo kiss, no matter how long and how far you are from me. And I wasn't wrong.

I was young when I first fell in love with you. And up until now I still am. I'm still in love with you.

It was a month before the summer season begins. The air has a touch of warm in it when it kisses my face as I stare at the setting sun. I was alone in the seashore, my favorite place to calm my mind. I was wearing my eyeglasses to help me see my favorite things clearly.

My phone vibrates in my jeans pocket and I checked the notification that just came. It was my mom asking me what I want for dinner tonight. I replied her with "anything of your cooking," then put my phone back to my pocket.

I continued to stare at the setting sun until it was dark. The skies turned from orange with the touch of purple to a dark, but starry one.

It's time to go home.

I stood up to my feet, brushing off the sands that went into my ass from sitting too long. I slipped my sandals on and turned around to walk back home. Then, I caught something, or rather someone in my peripheral vision. It was now dark but I can still make out a figure of a person from not too far from my place. I glanced at the figure and squinted my eyes to see them clearly. It's a hassle having this poor eyesight, I thought.

The person, a woman, was just leaving, too. She was sitting in a log near the shore. She has a dog with her, a very tiny dog, I couldn't make what breed the dog was, but it was tiny.

The woman was tall and had long hair reaching her waist. And I just realized that she was walking towards my direction. To be clear, we were just sitting in parallel position, she was on my left side and I just noticed her. I wasn't sure if she was there before I was.

I was about to continue my way home when I just made out who that woman was. Fucking great. It was the woman who caught me when I was falling face first in the sidewalk near my High School. That gorgeous, good smelling, tall and skinny woman. I can feel my heart beat becoming faster as she was nearing me. Was she going to talk to me? Maybe she remembered me.

Excitement filled my body as she was nearing me. It was too cliché to develope a crush on someone you just met a few days ago, but I happened. I can feel my smile growing and I can feel myself bouncing at the balls of my feet.

But to my disappoinment, she didn't even spare me a glance and just walked passed me like she didn't even noticed me there.

I didn't know what came to me when I decided to turn around and make my presence known to her. I chase after her, she was walking way too fast, it was very hard for me to catch up. Well, she's got long legs after all but that doesn't stop me.