the way i loved you

it hits different 'cause it's you

"I trace the evidence, make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding. You were the one that I love. Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough,"

I was walking down the sidewalk, on my way to a certain bar where Engfa and our friends agreed to meet. They were performing tonight and I was invited by Freen to come and see them since we barely hangout these days, so I agreed.

It was the bar where I first met Engfa and her band mates; Freen the bassist, Lux the drummer, and Keane, the keyboardist. They were great company to hang out with, so it wasn't hard for me to get along with them despite my slightly introverted attitude. I invited Becky, too, and she immediately agreed once I told her I was going to meet with Engfa's band mates. Becky and I agreed to just meet at the bar since I will be coming from school, and she'll be coming from her apartment.

I've reached the location of the bar on foot since it wasn't that far from the school. I went to pay for the entrance and when I got inside, the crowd was already wild despite the time being just only 7 PM. The night is still young, but the fact that a local band who happened to be a crowd favorite will be performing tonight, caught the attention of the regular customers of the bar.

Engfa was a fan favorite. I wasn't surprised even a bit. I mean, she's so popular, she's gorgeous, has an amazing voice and is good at playing the guitar. Who wouldn't love her?

I fished my phone from my shoulder bag to send a text to Becky that I was here. The bustling crowd made it hard for me to move, the space were almost empty. When I got a hold on my phone, I sent her a quick "where are you?" and roamed my eyes on the crowd. I still couldn't see her so I went to check my phone again to see if there's a response from Becky. None.

I was being practically squeezed by the people in the crowd. It made it hard for me to look up, but when I did, I was hit by a familiar scent coming somewhere from the crowd. I can't tell, I was literally in the middle of the sea of different people. But I can smell it. That smell... her smell.

My heart's beating became fast. Was she here? Was she near me? I was afraid to roam my eyes, afraid of having to see her eyes again. But it seemed like my eyes has their own decision. I looked for the crowd, searching for a familiar gray eyes. But I couldn't find it. It sent me into a whirlwind of emotions, from frustration to disappointment.

I was in the middle of searching when I felt a hand grabbing mine from behind. It was soft and gentle, squeezing mine like it was supposed to convey a message. The smell became stronger, and I didn't have to turn around to know whose hand it was. I held her hand back, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Can we talk?" a very familiar voice came from behind me, her breath tickling my ears, her mouth was in my hair.

I can't help but close my eyes.

I hesitate for a moment, "I-"

"Please," came her pleading voice. Our hands still entangled from below, hiding in the sea of people.

"Good evening, everyone," the voice from the front stage came, speakers intensifying it, making it burst around the whole bar, and causes the crowd to cheer loudly.

And I was suddenly awoken from my little escape from reality. I was here to see Engfa. I felt the guilt creeping up inside my body, but it was hard to let go of the hand I was currently holding.

But I need to let go. And when I attempted to free my hand, she pulled me back and squeezed it a little more harder this time, preventing me from leaving. "Just for a minute, please," she pleaded once again. She pulled me close to her, and now I was beside her. But still, I didn't dare to look at her.