Beautifully Theirs

59. Would she be okay?

" Shehnaaz you have an exam tomorrow, sleep " Sidharth spoke looking at her who was not even trying to hide the fact that she was staring at him from the past hour

" I need you " She spoke
" You need sleep " He replied, still not getting up from the sofa nor sparing her a glance.

It had been two weeks they have been together again but shehnaaz could tell, he was acting distant.

" I don't want to give that exam Sidharth, I can't handle separation again " She spoke, getting up from the bed and walking upto him, he was engrossed in looking at his statements from the bank.

" Shehnaaz " He sighed, keeping the papers on the table and making her sit beside him, he was a man and he loved his wife way more than he thought he could, she was all he had on the name of family and he surely wanted to bind her to him yet he knew not to do injustice to the man who was her life...
Her Father!

" We won't separate again okay, It was a mistake we did and we are past that Baba " Sidharth spoke

" Are we Sidharth? " She asked and he sighed not looking at her.

" Look at you, it had been two weeks and it is only me who is initiating whatever conversation we have " She sighed not wanting to argue again but it was as if he wasn't ready to move on, he was struck somewhere

" I.... I am struck Shehnaaz " He spoke, this girl was his entire existence, he loved her in a soul consuming way and he did not wanted to hide something from her, not when she could read him at a blink.

" It's like a never ending maze for me and I am in the middle of that waiting for a ray of hope, You ... Tu bahut important hai mere liye, humesha se thi, Isliye jab tu gayi na I developed that wall around me, Maa jaanti thi how I struck by her side everyday she talked to Mumma in a hope I will hear you " He chuckled and she just held him in her arms, his head on her midriff and he stared out of the window into the vast sky.

She knew one thing, it was only her who had vented out whenever they talked about past, Sidharth never did, Not even a single time and it was his time to break through the walls he made around him.

" Guess what, I gradually lost you over the years, Socha tha direct Baat karu Mumma se but himaat nhi hui, I failed Your Father, I promised him to take care of you always, till the time I am alive but I lost it Shehnaaz, tujhe jaan na tha na why did I had a soft corner for Shanvi " He spoke and looked at her, she had moist eyes and he could tell it was hurting her but she was happy because he was trying

" Because I saw you in her, When I met her, Maa was in ICU Shehnaaz and she was there, I was devasted, I knew she was going to be my wife because The last conversation I had with Maa was about her so obviously I knew, but I never thought of seeing her there in The hospital with Mumma, I expected you and I saw her, she held me when I cried Shehnaaz, I was waiting Tu kab aayegi and would take me away from the world to let me cry, I was so broken back in that time, Maa....
I wasn't with her when she needed me and it slipped the ground beneath me, But Tu nhi aayi, All I got to know was Tu chali gayi hai, Kahan kab I had no idea " He spoke

" Shanvi thi and I knew I had to marry her one day, uski aankhon main I felt a strange sense of sadness Shehnaaz, Hum khush the or atleast I thought we were , I needed to protect her because she was too innocent for this world just like you were, compare tujhe nhi, puri life usse kiya hai isliye shayad kabhi pyaar nhi hua usse " He answered and she let out a sob at that

" I was a mess Shehnaaz and I never planned to admit it, but it was only Shanvi that stood by me, she knew you, she knew us, mujhse pehle she knew I wanted you in her, par tu choti thi, I never even imagined that I have loved you like a partner loves his other half, I always considered that fondness as a habit because tu humesha thi, Aur jab tu gayi you took a part of me, you took Happy Sidharth away Shehnaaz and I was left only as a person who lived, just lived, I was there for the world yet I wanted you back but I had no idea tu kahan hai, Maa Mumma all of them shut me out, I never knew how to overcome you Shehnaaz " He spoke looking straight in her eyes, which were a pool of tears just like his own, but he needed to let go, he needed to let go of everything today, he has tried really hard to move on but the memory still struck him