How to Make a Sinner Sleep

003 | duke; here returns the child he lost

A long time ago, the Duke lost his lover and a son. Both were existences unknown and unacknowledged by society, but it was enough that he knew.

In the future, he had wanted to introduce them to the world proudly—his beautiful and gentle wife, his noble and charming son, and his other son, a mischievous but awkward child who had not known how to love.

Alexei Roan Astors, who learned love from his lover's embrace, would've done anything for his family.

But life's misfortunes led to tragedy, and his other son became estranged. He did not know how to interact with his living family and failed to perform as a father.

It was by fate's grand blessing, or a pitiful correction of the previous disaster, that he was granted an opportunity to make amends once more.

—— +++ ——

Alexei Roan Astors sits at a table by the open doors to his balcony, gazing at the full moon outside that cascades over the darkness.

He cannot sleep. He dares not to, fearing that he will open his eyes and awaken from this serenity.

His son, a few days prior, finally returned to the mansion that had been far too large for a single Duke. Alexei had hurried to prepare the mansion to welcome his child back—where he could not perform emotionally, he could perform logically.

Their dinners were often quiet after the death of his Alexandra, and Niklas attempted to force conversation at times, but it would always return to silence.

Alexei did not mind the silence. He did not mind the silence so long as he heard the clatter of metal on the plate, the breath of his blood that proved he still lived.

Niklas' return was not expected, and even less so, the companions he brought along.

It was the first time since the boy's childhood that he'd brought back friends. At some point, there'd been a striking change and Niklas changed.

He grew up and Alexei had not been able to witness it.

His ears are alert as he sits, a cup of steaming tea at his table and a closed book that has not been opened. He listens to the nearby sounds, the quiet chatter of the two young women Niklas returned with.

It has been a while, the Duke thinks, since he's heard the loveliness of noise fill these empty halls.

He will organise a large banquet in the morning, and another in the evening, he decides, wracking his brain for the foods that Niklas enjoys. There are many, and the Duke remembers them all.

Then, there is that child.

That shivering child that had clung to Alexandra, a small, delicate boy that had peered at the Duke with round, cautious eyes. Eyes that followed his every movement with growing worship.

During tea with Alexandra and that child, the boy would peer at him nervously. He was a silly thing that Alexandra adored more than her own life.

Alexei had demonstrated sword moves, upon Alexandra's request, and he did not forget the way the child's eyes glowed with awe and amazement.

How the child had run up to him, nervously holding onto the corner of his coat and awkwardly asking to see some more moves.

Naturally, Alexei had obliged, swinging his sword pointlessly for hours until the child was satisfied.

This child, covered in his lover's blood. This child, the murderer of the only yearning he's ever known.

And yet, as he gazed at the child with horror woven in his eyes—he could not hate that boy who drowned in despair, clutching the bleeding wound with desperation and choking sobs.