I Love You To The Moon And Back

Chapter 25: Trying

TIME SWITCH, 4 WEEKS LATER

Katniss P.O.V.

I'm living in New York, with Mathew. He's actually very kind and funny. He understands my situation and does everything to make it easy for me. I do miss Peeta. But I don't want contact with him. That would be too heavy. I can't handle it.

Mathew is also a really good cook, but not even close to Peeta, he's born cooking.
At 8 o'clock, Mathew leaves for work, and I'm alone for the next few hours. I do have to go to school here, but that starts on monday. I can go into the city, but I have to tell Mathew exactly where I'm going. He says I don't have to, but it's for my mother. She controls everything.

I'm sitting on the couch.
Should I call Peeta? He probably wants to know how I am. I know it's selfish to not make contact with him, but I'm just afraid it will be too much. Then I can't handle this situation at all, I barely get it now.
No, I won't call him. I just hope he's not too angry.

Peeta P.O.V.

I'm still laying in bed. I haven't done anything since Katniss left. I went to school, but that's it. And I can't concentrate, so it's not very helpfull.

Annie comes in. She and Finnick moved in with me two weeks ago. They keep an eye on me, making sure I'm doing okay.
Annie walks towards me, and I can smell the scent of food.
'Wanna eat?' she asks. I shake my head. She sits down next to me and looks at me.

'Come on, Peeta. You barely eat, but you really have to. You can't just lay in bed and let the days pass', she says. I open my eyes and look at the wall. 'I'm going to school', I defend myself. Annie sighs.

'We miss her too, Peeta. But you have to move on. This isn't healthy', she says. I know she's right, but I just can't.

I push myself up and look at Annie.
'You're right. But I don't want to forget her', I say. Annie lays her hand on my shoulder. 'Of course you're not gonna forget her. But you do have to do something. You can still think about her, but you gotta be yourself again', she says. I nod. She gives me the plate with some bread.

'Eat', is everything she says. I nod again and take a bite. I didn't realize that I was this hungry, before I know it, the plate is empty. Annie smiles.

'Good boy.' She stands up and walks towards the hallway. Before she leaves my room, she turns around.
'Come sit with us downstairs', she says. I think about it and nod. Then she leaves. I haven't been out of my room sice ages.

I get out of bed, strech and walk downstairs. When I come into the room, Finnick looks at me.
'Look, sleeping beauty has waken up', he says. I can put a little smile on my face. I sit down next to him and he slaps me on my back.

'Good you're back, man', he says. I nod. Annie smiles.
'We're going to midgetgolf this afternoon, feel like coming with us? The others will also be there', she asks. I doubt it.
'Come on, it'll be good for you, and fun', Finnick says. I sigh and nod. Finnick grins.

'But first, dude, take a shower', he says. Now I have to laugh. I nod and stand up. I walk upstairs again and walk to the bathroom. I don't know how long it is since I last took a shower. Gross, I know.

I take off my clothes, and look into the mirror. Annie's right. I dont look healthy. I have puffiness, sunken cheeks, and I'm pale. I step into the shower and let the water heat up my body.

I think about her. Why isn't she calling me or something? No email, voice mail, or even a text! Nothing!
Should I do it? Maybe her mother forbids her to do it. Ahh, I'm getting crazy of this unknowing!

I turn off the shower and dry myself. I dress myself and walk towards my phone.

"HEY KATNISS, HOW ARE YOU DOING?"

I type. No, that's nothing. I start over.

"HELLO KATNISS. HOW'S NEW YORK?"

Nope, that also doesn't work. Again...

"DEAR KATNISS. I MISS YOU AND JUST NEED TO TALK TO YOU. MAYBE WE CAN CALL LATER?
I LOVE YOU
X PEETA"

Yeah. That's it. I send it and I hope that she reads it soon.

Katniss P.O.V.

That movie stucks. I'm sitting on the couch, watching tv.
I lay my head back and look at the ceiling.
It wouldn't be so awful here if Peeta was with me instead of Mathew. Not that I hate Mathew, but I just miss my Peeta.

Then my phone beeps. Maybe Finnick. Or Gale. Or Annie. Or Peeta... When his name pops into my head, I quickly stand up and search for my phone. I can't find it. Just at this moment, I can't find my phone! But I heard it, so it can't be very far.

I search the whole room and find it eventually in a drawer. I take it out and my heart stops beating when I look at the screen.

"DEAR KATNISS. I MISS YOU AND JUST NEED TO TALK TO YOU. MAYBE WE CAN CALL LATER?
I LOVE YOU
X PEETA"

I don't know what to do. Of course I want to speak to him, but I don't know if I can handle it.

You're being so selfish, Katniss! He misses you! Come on, now!

I sigh and start typing Peetas number.
I'm getting really nervous when I wait for him to pick up the phone.

Please, hurry...

'Hello?' I hear him saying. His voice make my knees feel weak immediately.
'H... Hi', I stutter.
'Katniss?' Peeta asks.
'Yeah... I just saw your text', I say. It's quiet for a minute.

Since when act Peeta and I like this?

'So... How are you?' I ask.

Seriously, Katniss?

'Eh... Well', I hear the doubt in Peetas voice.
'Peeta, what's wrong?' I ask. I hear him sighing.
'I miss you, Katniss. I haven't done anything since you left. Most of the time I'm laying in bed, staring at the wall. I wouldn't thought it was this heavy', he says.

I feel pity for him. I thought that he was okay, but he really is broken.

'Peeta...', I say quiet.
'Katniss, I don't know what to do, you're there, with that Mathew ans I'm here, missing you', he says.
'Peeta, I'm coming back. I'm coming back to you, I promise. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I am coming to you', I say.

I think about it. I say that I'm coming back, but I don't know if I'm coming back...

'Peeta, listen, I really don't know when I'm coming back, and I don't want you to suffer, so...', I start.
I swallow and sigh.
'If you want to move on...', I say, and Peeta reacts immediately.
'Katniss, no! I don't want to move on. I love you!' he says.

'Are you sure?' I ask. 'Yes, of course', he says. I smile.

We talk for a long time, and both of us don't want to hang up. I like talking to him.

*********

And there I stop!
So, what did you think? Let me know!
Love, -xxx-