3. Oh Crap

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Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.

How could I let myself lose control like that? I shifted in the middle of the streets, howled near the Kingsley House a.k.a people that wants me dead, and now I was completely soaked in blood. I wondered if I was becoming suicidal or something because lately it seemed like I made careless mistakes one after the other.

Who had I killed now? I only almost-prayed that it wasn't important people. How to get myself in more trouble if that were the case...

They heard my howl, they know that I'm in town. Soon, they would send Hunters and Trackers after me again. Plus, now the new generation knows what I look like because of my major fluke with the Amory kid. How could I have been this stupid and careless? Why did I have to be matched with him? Of all families in all the world...

There were some people above who just loved to see me suffer. In my case, probably people from below. I shook my head and closed the distance to Jozie's door.

Jozie... I had left him all alone in that place. Guilt pinched at my heart, I had failed him, failed my promise to him. The one thing I promised not to do, I did without second thought.

My angel, I'm so sorry...

I couldn't go back, not now, not ever. It was time to put my hometown in my rearview mirror and get the hell away from here. I might have to wait for this generation to die for me to be able to ever come back. Even then, it would be risky.

I heard Prague was beautiful this time of year, it was far which was perfect. Since I had done this about a million times, packing went fairly quick. I made sure to put some clothes on before starting, then it was a breeze. It had become almost a routine for me, bedroom first, only necessary clothes. If I couldn't run with it, it stayed in a drawer. Then came the bathroom, only necessities again.

The problem was, I only held very little at Jozie's place. I hadn't planned on coming here a couple weeks ago, it was a spur the moment thing. The bag in my hand was very light due to this fact. I was going to have to stop by one of my safe house's before leaving the country since I didn't have many abroad.

I almost ran to the kitchen to finish my packing when I heard, '' I hear Prague is pretty decent this time of year.''

The blood in my veins froze, of course he knew. He had seen me do this about a dozen times before. I slowly turned my head towards him and saw him leaning against the wall, eyes to the ground. The bowtie that used to be impeccably tied now flung around his neck, falling flat on his chest.

'' Look, I'm sorry about leaving you there alone but I did something really bad. I can't risk staying here, it would be a danger for me and for you. They know that you know me now, it's only a matter of time...-''

'' Just talk to me, slowly.'' he begged in a soft whisper. His eyes met mine but quickly widened as he looked over my bloodied body. '' What did you do?''

I had to tell him something... I couldn't just leave him high and dry like this.

'' I lost control Jozie... I blacked out again.'' I croaked in embarrassment, looking down at my hands.

'' It was your howl...'' His voice wasn't as calm anymore.

He paced back and forth in front of me, mumbling to himself. '' That's not good. That's really not good.''

'' No shit, Sherlock. That's why I'm packing. I have to get out of here as fast as I can before they catch onto me.''

'' No-no. You aren't leaving, that's for sure.'' He threw out in between mumbles. He raked his hair a few times before continuing, '' It'll be fine. We just have to... have to...''

'' The only good plan is for me to leave and-...'' he interrupted me by raising a finger near my mouth.

'' You're not leaving, period. I finally have my best friend back, I intend on keeping her. I just need you to tell me how it all happened. I thought you had your blacking out under control?''

I crossed my arms at that, embarrassed again, '' Yeah, I do. Well, at least I did. It's a beginner's problem! But, I just... I couldn't hold it in this time...''

That made him stop pacing, standing in front of me. He lowered himself a bit to look into my eyes, '' Just tell me what happened, all will be fine.''

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was too sober to talk about crazy stuff like that. I rummaged through the cupboard above the fridge and took out a bottle of scotch. Images of the Amory kid flashed in my mind and I put the bottle back.

Nope, not scotch.

Instead, I pulled out a bottle of gin and poured myself a glass. I chugged it down and waited two seconds, the familiar burn soothing me instantly. Jozie watched me intently but didn't intervene.

Nope, not enough.

I poured myself another glass and chugged that one down. And another. And another. I kept going until my vision started blurring up. I set the glass down and took a deep breath.

'' I met my mate...'' I whispered as quietly as possible, my heart clenching. Saying it out loud made it seem so... real. When it couldn't be. It was impossible.

'' OH MY GOD! That's amazing! Wait that means you're not the only Wolf left! Oh my god, Dev, I'm so happy for you!'' he tackled me in a bear hug, completely ignoring the blood, as I lay limp in his arms. His enthusiasm was adorable, I felt bad for knowing it wouldn't last for long.

'' Dev?'' Jozie let me go but left both hands on my shoulders, looking at me. '' Why aren't you happy about this?''

'' Because he's a Prestige.''

'' So? I know you hate them with a wild passion but they're not all bad, you know.''

'' Jozie... I can't...''

'' Dev, honey, you are going to have to get over you little Prestige hatred some time-...''

'' EXCUSE ME?'' I shoved him away from me, using a little too much force which caused him to hit the counter. '' Little hatred? You have got to be kidding!''

'' Dev... I didn't mean-...''

'' No-no. That's exactly what you said! These bastards ruined my life! They ripped my family a part and eradicated my species.''

A veil of silence fell around the house, only the sound of my ragging breaths crashing it. It was my turn to pace back and forth, almost tearing my hair out. Unwanted memories flashed through my head, overpowering all thought.

Screams. Blood. Smoke. And pain. So much pain. The mansion shambled to the ground, crushing my family, imprisoning children in their rooms. The woods engulfed in scorching orange flames, Warriors flying from everywhere, weapons held high.

It took a few moments to notice Jozie's arms around me, wrapping me in his chest while we were nestled on the ground.

'' It's okay, it's going to be alright.'' He repeated over and over as he rubbed his warm hand up and down my back. '' I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I swear. You've been through a lot, I know. Just know that I'll be there.''

He kissed me on the top of my head, '' I'll always be there.''

'' You're a good mother, you know that?'' I mumbled, only half conscious.

He chuckled softly. He probably truly thought that things would be okay this time. But I highly doubted it. I had a habit of flipping the dark side of the coin.

'' Just promise you won't leave.'' He whispered.

After a while, I let out devastating words. '' I promise.''

Soon, I felt my lids become heavy and a blanket of numbness covered my body. It wasn't long before I softly drifted off into darkness to the sound of Jozie humming a soft melody.


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