5.2 | Designated Life |

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I smell fear

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I smell fear.

It's a crisp, pungent scent that reminds me of bad sweat and smoke. The burnt smell might be our surroundings, though I wouldn't be entirely surprised if the essence of fire had somehow worked its way into their DNA. Hot and ashy, there was a certain moist feeling to it. Surely the fear has to be strong if its tangible.

I can't get a read on their behavior though. Remi curls in herself, arms tightening around each other and hands cupping her elbows. Neither of the boys show anything but the most stoic paranoia, a common reaction to the world as it is regularly.

Perhaps it's the collective.

The night is growing dark, a compact glow of white moonlight poking out from behind clouds. For the first night since my escape, a clear sky reveals an infinite pattern of stars strewn about in an endless array of chaotic light. Each illuminates various shades of white, yellow, red and blue. Many tiny wishes fading into the universe.

Looking down at my hands, I finger the place where my wedding band had once been. A thin scar outlining the outer edges in white against my tanning complexion. These weren't the only scars. Many decorated my wrists and arms from combat, decades of participating in the military, fighting in ancient wars, accidents, involving myself in catastrophes. This vessel has gone through everything with me.

The most prominent markings on my skin are large, yet faint. On my left is a slit near the bottom of my elbow that curves slightly when I bend my arm, two small puncture marks at the base of my thumb and before my wrist, and a burn resembling that of sparking electricity down my right pinky that dances to my forearm.

Someone clears their throat and I lift my head to see Dan, his eyes slowly analyzing my fingers stroking the hand with phantom pain.

"Everything okay?" I ask gently, scanning the area around. The fear is still strong in the air, though I don't smell the worry from him.

He nods confidently at first, then goes back to staring at my hand. "Do God's marry?"

I hear a touch of amusement in his voice but unfortunately, I can't manage a smile. "We were the invention of commitment and the definition of love, Daniel. Of course, we were married, we married each other forty-seven times over the last thousand years alone."

"Forty-seven?" he raises his eyebrows. "That's a lot... And you never... loved anyone else?"

This elicits a laugh, no matter how dark. "Platonically maybe, but I'm not capable of loving another romantically."

We continue in silence for a moment, Daniels face clearly shifting with passing thoughts. "Can I ask you something Iridian?"

I hum at the thought that he already is. Even still, I nod and gesture for him to continue. It couldn't be more stupid than the countless other questions people would ask when we were open about our existence.

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