well that was fucking exhausting. the receptionist man at the hotel was not too happy that i was leaving on such short notice. i thought receptionists were meant to be nice! how hard is it to hire a nice guy?!
god. let's try and remove that experience from my brain. i take a deep breath in an attempt to relax, and most of the stress flows from my body.
breath in, breath out. in, out, in, out...
i'm woken from my peace by the uber driver's hoarse voice. "here you are! that'll be £12." i hand her the money, thank her and practically fall out the car with my suitcase. this thing is heavy.
i somehow manage to haul it into the lift and get up to my 13th floor room without vomiting at the lift's speed. miracles all round. i rummage around in my pocket for the key and unlock the door, dumping my suitcase and crumpling on the sofa.
i. am. drained.
ugh, i need a nap. which room did alex say mine was? his was the first on the left, and george's was the third-- or was it second? is mine the third? i'm too tired to be dealing with this. i'll just go in the third. pretty sure it was mine anyway.
i stumble into the room, way too fatigued to notice the small wooden sign that reads 'george' on the door, and collapse onto the bed. finally, a place to lie down. i fall asleep almost instantly.
time skip ; george's pov, six hours later (8:16pm)
i arrive back at the flat from will's place, where we were filming a video. we were playing roblox, which is always a good laugh... but i still couldn't get my mind off her. that hayley girl.
i wasn't obsessing over her or anything (i'm not a freak) - but she just seems so perfect and confident and sure, of who she is and what she's doing with her life. all of which i am not. my anxiety makes that difficult. it makes everything difficult.
although it's been getting better: you can hardly tell around my friends, and in videos i seem completely normal. making videos really does relax me; knowing that 3 million people actually like me is reassuring. it's been a year since i've had a panic attack thanks to youtube. i'm still not great around new people, but it isn't that bad. i just come off as shy. except with hayley.
god, that was embarrassing. she said hi and my mind just blanked. i did not want say something weird and make her think i was mental, and i couldn't think of anything to say and saying nothing was even worse so really i just messed up anyway and blushing made me look like a right twat and now--
shut up george. you're spiralling.
i shake my head to clear it and step inside the apartment. decorating. i smile at the thought. i decorated this flat, and i still have some leftover paint - i can paint the table legs like in those cool pinterest boards. that'll help me unwind. de-spiral. will said he would go out to nando's with alex after the video since i was too tired to come (that was my excuse, at least) and hayley's probably with them, so no-one will mind the smell.
the paint is in a cupboard somewhere, but i'm pretty sure i left the brushes in my room. i dump my camera on the sofa and walk towards my room. speaking of my room, that's one place i haven't decorated yet. and hayley's room. i wonder if she'd let me decora--
oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god.
hayley is asleep on my bed.
well that was a long chapter
shoutout to redefine for being my only fan who i don't know irl and isn't a HUGE NONCE
(i'm talking to you alaa)
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قصص الهواة"flirty girls terrify me" "sucks to be you i guess" || george finds himself living with a fearless flirt who could cure his anxiety - or make everything 100 times worse. copyright 2019 © #1 in google - 19/5/19
