Treasure Hunter Mable

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Dipper POV:

Today was like any normal day. We went to grab groceries and on our way back, Mabel put two Doritos on her ear and shouted, "Nacho Earings! I'm hilarious!" Gruncle Stan looked back, "That's debatable." I almost choked with laughter but held it in. She didn't look deterred at all though, that's Mabel a fun-loving ball of sunshine. Did I really just think that? Gross. Whatever. In the middle of my thoughts, Gruncle Stan started freaking out and driving like a mad man, more so than usual that is. "They've circled the wagons! It's too late! No!" Mabel looked out the window at a cow, "I've got a good feeling about today!"

We got out of the car and walked around looking at everything around us. Gruncle Stan walked up behind us. "Today's Pioneer Day, the day once every year where these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." There were candle dipping, mining for gold, and.....a man marrying a Woodpecker? Oh yeah, I remembered reading in the journal that it used to be legal to marry Woodpeckers. Mabel was confused, so I told her, pretending it was a newspaper article. I'm still deciding whether or not to tell her about the journal, she's not the most responsible person.

We asked our Gruncle if he was gonna stay with us for the opening ceremony. He said, "No way, I'm going back to the shack, and if you two come back to the shack talking like these people, you're dead to me." I had nothing to lose so I started to talk like a joke, Mabel joined in too and we laughed as Gruncle Stan shouted, "Dead to me!" We ran over to the stage that had been set up outside.

Pacifica Northwest, town rich girl, bratty to no end. She was up on the stage proclaiming how great she was. Mabel went up on stage to be a volunteer and was completely made fun of by Pacifica. I ran to Mabel's side as she exited the stage, "Hey, you okay?" She nodded and said something about needing old-timey butterscotch. I was too busy envisioning Pacifica getting her face bashed in.

Mabel and I sat down under a statue. She asked me if I thought she was silly. I said no, but not in a convincing way. "Ugh, I knew it! The nacho earings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke." I rested a hand on her shoulder after she finally threw the nacho earings off and wrapped her sweater around her waist. "Mabel, if anything, everyone I know, likes you better than me." In my mind, I added 'Except Bill' "You are funny and lovable and my sister, I'm here for you." She smiled and hugged me.

"Hold on." I recalled a faint memory of reading something in the journal about how Nathaniel Northwest might not be the actual founder of Gravity Falls. Maybe now is a good time, since no one is around. I looked at Mabel, "Mabel, I have something very important that I'd like to share with you." She looked up. I pulled out the Journal. "All of the information about things that I shouldn't have, came from this. It's a journal of all the mysteries of Gravity Falls." She looked fascinated and I showed her the page with Nathaniel Northwest.

 "Wait, so the Northwest family could be a total fraud!" She looked excited. "Yes, here is a letter with some writing on it, I'm gonna go to the library so I can find out which language it's in." She stopped me, "C-Can I come?" She looked nervous, and I couldn't blame her. The last time we went on one, she yelled at me and made everyone hate me. But, for Bill's sake, I nodded and said yes. She perked up like a puppy and we were off to the library.

Nothing. Nothing matched what was on the letter. I set it down to stretch and when I turned back, Mabel had folded it into a hat. She degraded herself, but when I looked closer, it was a map! "Mabel! You folded it into a map!" She looked surprised and we investigated it a bit more. It seemed to be leading to the Museum. So off we ran.

When we got there, we found an abstract sculpture thing on the wall. Mabel was goofing off before I hear an 'Oh! It worked!' I looked back and she was upside down looking at the thing. I joined her, "That's a statue in the graveyard!" We stood up and held our heads from the blood rush. We ran to the graveyard. Mabel was actually being useful.

When we got there, she put her nose on the finger and said, "Ew! Gross! It's picking my nose." and laughed. She pushed the finger up on accident and a secret doorway opened up. We carefully entered. "Look out for booby traps." She laughed about the word booby traps and stepped on one. What did I just say? Oh yeah, Look Out For Booby Traps! No one listens. 

Tranquilizer darts started shooting out at us, luckily, we were small and quick enough to avoid them. We fell down a hole and got spit out in this underground cave thing with all sorts of government secrets. Abe Lincoln wore a top hat because of an arm on his head. Benjamin Franklin was a woman. I found the document with Gravity Falls and read aloud. "Let it be known that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud!" I looked at Mabel and then continued to read.

"As well as a...waste shoveling village idiot?" We laughed. "Wait till Pacifica hears this." Mabel was happy about uncovering a conspiracy, so now no one could call her silly. I read on. "The true founder of Gravity Falls was Sir Lord. Quentin Trembley, III, Esq." She asked who he was and a light shined on us as Officer Blubs shined a light on us, "That's none of your business!" Deputy Durland rang his bell saying they got us before looking completely exhausted and falling to the ground. "He got hit with quite a few of those darts." Blubs said. 

"Now I hate to do this to you but Quentin Trembley is a matter of national security." Durland was still exhausted, "I think I might be color blind now." I felt kinda bad for him. They showed us a film about how bad of a president he was, it was painful to watch. Mabel was complaining it had been in black and white.

It stated the whereabouts of Trembley's body was unknown. Blubs cut in there, "Until now." and pointed behind us at Trembley. He was encased in peanut brittle, according to what Blubs said. They said to find his body was their special mission, Durland said all they had to do was follow Mable's candy wrappers. She facepalmed and called herself stupid and silly.

They locked us in a crate with Trembley's body, Mabel took a chunk of peanut brittle off and it all fell off of him. "It is I, Quentin Trembley!" He ripped off his pants. How was he alive? "Peanut Brittle does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly! You're brilliant!" He smiled at her, "And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

I praised her too, after all, she did solve a government conspiracy. They tried to fit through a hole, but a woodpecker broke through the box. We ran out and Durland saw us calling Blubs. We ran onto the top of the train. They ran after us until we ran out of roof to run. Blubs had to take a knee to catch his breath and Durland asked if he could get him anything. I swear they have a bromance going on.

I asked if they really wanted to do this, they said they had no choice because their orders came from the very top. I turned around and asked Trembley if he sighed an official release. He said he...ate a salamander and jumped out the window. Gross. That meant he was still legally the president. I turned and revealed this to them. They were ordered to pretend this never happened and go on a vacation.

I watched them as they were so happy and waved them goodbye later as the train left. We walked back into the town of Gravity Falls. Mabel was given a hat as an official congressman, and I was given the presidents key. I was happy. We were walking around and he was telling us about the presidents and his experience with them.

Pacifica laughed at us and Mabel said she didn't care. I, however, chased down their car and handed her the documents about how much of a lie she was living. It felt great. "Man, revenge is underrated, that felt awesome!" Trembley said his goodbyes and rode off on a horse backward. We freed our Gruncle and headed off to the shack. I was tired and couldn't wait to tell Bill everything.

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