Finding Hope

8

"Where's my brother!" Hudson screams as he gets closer to Sebastian and I. "Where the fuck is Logan." I motion to the infirmary door that's closed and he storms inside leaving Sebastian and I in an even more eerie silence.

Sebastian came running the second he heard me screaming.

He got there, but it was too late.

Logan wasn't breathing anymore and the only thing we could think to do was bring him to the infirmary. Sebastian tried everything. He declared him his beta again and took back everything he said but nothing has worked.

He's just laying here.

Dead.

It's been a few hours of sitting contemplating what to do and neither of us could come up with an idea of how to tell everyone. We finally called Hudson because we figured it'd be the right thing to do regardless of our ability to figure this out.

"Logan!" I hear Hudson scream out and my chest start to feel tighter and tighter. "No, that's my brother! That's my brother." His screams get smaller, but I can't move a muscle.

We sit for what feels an eternity before we hear another voice.

One that demands answers.

"Sebastian." I see his father standing there with Steph and Lacey at his sides.

"I was out with your sisters. What's happened?" He let's go of the girls and Steph runs over to the door. Lacey comes over to us and gives her big brother a hug before resting her head on his chest. "Why do I hear Hudson crying? What happened Sebastian?"

"Logan's dead." He snaps. "He kept the secret of his mate quiet and I threatened him and his position because he was trying to fight Garrett. I didn't know, so when I told him to get out I killed him."

"You killed him?"

"No, he didn't kill him. Logan's mate died months ago and the only reason he was still alive was to fulfill his duties as a Beta. When Bash took the role away his wolf started to die and he's dead."

"No he can't be dead."

"Yes he is. He isn't breathing." Sebastian stands up and opens the door where Hudson is standing in the corner in shock.

"His wolf died. His wolf died, not him."

"Well then explain why he didn't breath! He's not breathing anymore. Explain that dad."

"Logan." Steph grabs at his arm and my hand goes over my mouth to stop myself from crying loud enough to distract everyone else.

"Logan wake up!" Steph shakes him and Hudson pulls her back. "Wake up!" She screams louder and Hudson squats down to her level.

"Hey, it's okay. Logan's just sleeping." He tries to talk to her in the calmest voice possible, but she starts to thrash her arms around.

"He's supposed to be awake! It's the morning! We're supposed to play catch."

"Well we can go play catch." He offers but she goes back to reach at Logan.

"No! I want Logan." She stomps after he doesn't respond to her actions again. "Logan." She repeats and she clings to his body.

I can't do anything to get her off of him, so Sebastian finally steps in and places a hand on her back.

"Remember when I told you the story of when Milo was born Steph? Remember how I told you we have to be gentle sometimes and we can't jump on people? We can't jump on Logan anymore okay? We have to give him some space."

"But we were gonna play catch. Why did he lie to me?" She asks in a more calm tone and Bash takes a deep breath.

"I don't think he meant to hurt your feelings sweetie. Why don't we play catch later? Is that okay?"

"I'll just wait for Logan to wake up." She hangs her head low and I look to Lacey who has been awfully quiet.

"Are you okay angel?" I ask and she shakes her head before leaving the room.

"I have to talk to Tommy. I have to try and figure this out with my parents. I'm sorry." Hudson goes to leave as well, but I take a seat.

"Everyone can go. I'll stay here and watch him." I decide and they look hesitant, but I force a smile. "I promise, please go look for answers, ask around, call Trevor, be productive. I'll wait here."

It takes a few moments, but eventually I'm alone with him and that's when I let myself turn into the girl who lost a best friend.

"I should've noticed. I should've looked past my own issues and I should've been able to see how much pain you were in. This should've never gotten to this point.

"You may have been the biggest pain in my ass when I first came to this pack, but you made this feel like home. You made me feel like I was back in Montana with my brother teasing me about the tiny things."

"You were the first person to see my tattoo." I smile at the memory of me in the closet. "All I wanted to do was unpack, but you kept bugging me. You wanted to know everything."

"You told me about yours and how you became addicted to getting more and more art. I remember seeing this one." I run my finger over the lines. "The first night I was here I was so nervous about being anywhere near Bash but you kept making me laugh and you kept distracting me from the worries I had."

"I love you Logan. I really truly love you and I don't know how I'm supposed to just go on without you here. I don't want to raise my daughter in a world without you. I wouldn't want anyone else to be her crazy uncle. Who is going to teach her how to pry information out of people?"

"Logan I never got to tell you this either but I was pregnant again. I was supposed to have another baby and with the stress of everything I had a miscarriage. Logan you were the first person I wanted to tell because you were the first person I told when I was pregnant the first time, and now I don't know who is supposed to be my crutch. You were my rock and I don't know how to tell Bash or how to tell everyone else."

"I've just been on edge since and nobody knows why. Of course I feel insanely guilty that my family survived the war, but I feel so guilty that I'm not more upset. I should be sad that I lost the baby and trust me I am, but I don't think another baby right now would be a good idea. Especially now. Logan you always say dumb shit, but you give solid advice and all I want right now is your advice."

"Logan please, there's gotta be something to get you back."