Finding Hope

28

"Your daughter is a monster." I hear a scream coming from the living room as I sit peacefully at the kitchen counter. I've been sat here drinking some coffee while planning out what exactly I feel needs to be voiced at the council meeting in a week. I'm not too concerned about what will occur but I know that I have expectations for the new council.

"She's not a monster." I shout back at whoever said it. "She's just going through that phase where she hates everyone except Sebastian."
People talk about the terrible twos all the time, but she's not even two. She's got another seven months for that to be an excuse for the behavior. Maybe it's the fact that she's already walking and talking and is the size of a two year old, but either way the past few weeks have been hell for me as a parent.

She won't sleep, she won't eat anything unless she sees Bash eating it, and she's turned to throwing fits if anybody else tries to touch her including me. She'll eventually give in let me help her, but it's not an easy fight.

"She's a monster through and through." Hudson comes in with marker all over his face and my jaw drops. "We were coloring and she decided that paper wasn't acceptable." The words fall from him mouth as he clenches his jaw.

I'd expect Logan to get that response from her but she usually loved Hudson. He's our go to babysitter when we go anywhere without her.

"Where is she now?" I place my pen down and I stand up to take a look at the damage my
kid has done.

"She is with Bash in his office because I gave up. I love being her godfather but she has been the hardest kid to watch recently and I don't know why." He rubs at his face and I grab his wrist to stop him.

"Come here." I lead him over to the bathroom and I grab a wash cloth with some soap and water. "She's gaining a personality and shes growing up too fast. She's starting to push her limits too and right now the only one letting her is Bash." I start to wipe away some of the marker and he stays quiet.

"He thinks that if he lets her pick what she wants that she'll grow and learn that the world is her oyster but it's led to this. She's not even two and she doesn't need to be making any choices. She needs two naps a day and to start drawing on paper instead of her uncle." I wipe away the last of the blue marker stuck on his cheek and he nods in agreement.

"Well it's still better than the two week phase where she wouldn't go for a nap and would just scream." That was uncalled for behavior and I'm sure she could be heard from down the block.

"I'm supposed to leave with Logan in a week to do this council business and his wolf hasn't even come back yet. I don't want to leave with that still looming overhead while Milo is acting this way."

"I'm gonna give you the best advice I have Jen." He places his hands on my arms and I look up at him. "Kids don't always act the way we expect them to and we both know that they do things like this a lot. She's gonna go through these phases and we will get through it. You've got a lot of people helping you and when you leave we'll still be helping. Focus on what you need to do and Bash will deal with Milo for right now."

"I just want to fix something and I feel like I can't cause everything seems okay other than Milo drawing on you." I laugh and he pulls me into a hug.

"You can go fix her if you want but it'll be something else next week." He joins in with a laugh of his own and I nod before leaving him to go to Bash's office. Once I walk in I see Milo sat in his lap playing with her favorite stuffed animal while looking nothing like a baby monster. Too bad she's behaved like one.

"Did you see Hudson's face?" I ask and he lets out a small laugh before looking up at me. "Judging by that reaction I guess you didn't tell her she can't do that again."

"No I did, but she's not paying attention right now so I can finally laugh about it." He smirks while trying to hold back a full laugh. "Milo, baby did you color on your uncle?" He asks while looking down at her and taking the stuff animal in his hand. She looks up at him with matching eyes and doesn't say a word. "Did you color on uncle Hudson?" He asks again and she nods.

"You can't do that okay? You can't color on people, you gotta use the paper." He hands her back her toy and she nods back.

"She definitely doesn't care." I admit and he sighs before looking back to me and nodding in agreement. "But I had to come here to see her considering Hudson was shouting that she's a monster."

"Monster?" Milos voice asks in a gentle voice before finally turning to me and I feel my heart shatter. "Monster momma?" She mumbles and I shake my head while walking closer and reaching out to brush hair from her face. We tried cutting her hair a few times but we've never succeeded because she ends up sobbing anytime we get close to her with scissors.

"No baby you're not a monster, but can you please go down for your nap?" I ask and she shakes her head before pressing herself further into her fathers chest. Bash immediately looks up at me and offers a small smile. He knows that every time she gives him a hug that he melts and we all forget what exactly we need to focus on. He also knows that I feel like a bad mother when she turns down my touch or existence.

"Lo, it's nap time, listen to mommy." He finally puts his foot down after a few moments and stands up with her.

"Story?" She asks him and I watch as his eyes dart between her and the paperwork on his desk.

He won't say no to her, but he knows he should.  He needs to focus on his work and recently there has been an awful amount unfocus and it's partially been my fault. The two of us were finally getting our time alone and the time alone was what we needed. We needed to get away for a few days because once things pick back up again, there wouldnt be time.

I was right.

There's no time right now.

We took so long to finally take the time because of the constant fear that if we left her alone that we'd lose her. I definitely had to let that fear go because I couldn't go through my day fearing that someone was going to harm my baby. I especially can't have that mentality when she has multiple people ready to risk everything to protect her. Thankfully this weekend away was the first time I was able to push those intruding thoughts to the back burner and focus purely on Sebastian and I.

I wish I could say something super romantic occurred and that we didn't leave the bed for the whole weekend, but I can't. We didn't do anything of the sort and in fact we really just relaxed and sat together in silence. Not many words were spoken but we didn't need to speak to understand what the other needed. We both needed time to cope without the pressure distracting us from what we needed.

Now that we're back I fear that I'll fall back into that mentality where I feel trapped and that I'm drowning, but I don't have time for that. Especially because Garrett comes home tomorrow and so does Tommy. Maybe Ashley will even start talking to me again once he returns.

I'd really like my sister back.

Especially when I'll be presenting my plan for the council. Especially when this plan is unlike anything they've done before.

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Hello everyone! sorry for the long waited updated, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter before everything picks back up again.