My second chance to love! [YiZhan FanFiction] ✔️

~29~ I'm scared

~29~ I'm scared

POV YIBO

I can't explain why, but since I first saw Zhan, I couldn't get him out of my mind. At first I thought it was probably due to circumstances. How he ran past me, crying into his husband's room and when I heard him sob. I was so sorry to hear how upset and broken up he was.

I heard the words his husband said to him, they even touched me. And I also heard the sound of the heart monitor alarm and a long shrill sound. It was terrible to know that this man died inside and that his desperate husband stood next to him at the bed and cried bitterly.

Doctors and nurses rushed into the room and I took a look inside, I saw the husband collapse while another doctor shook his head and declared the death of the man lying in bed. Despite his many injuries I could see that he was a really handsome man.

One of the doctors picked up Zhan, who was lying on the floor, and told the nurse to prepare some kind of syringe. The nurse handed the syringe to the doctor a moment later and he injected it to Zhan. Just a tiny moment later, Zhan regained his consciousness.

Only one doctor and two nurses remained in the room, who started to turn off the equipment and keep an eye on Zhan. He held his dead husband and pressed his head against his chest. It was heartbreaking to see this and even drove tears into the eyes of the doctor and the two nurses.

They left Zhan alone with his husband after half an hour, I heard the doctor say they would wait until the rest of the family arrived. And me? I stood by the door and watched Zhan. I kept an eye on him. I just couldn't force myself to walk away from the door and leave him alone. I was scared. And so I stood there for almost three hours, watching Zhan.

Then when the family came, the parents of Seo Joon and Hae Jin, they entered the room, and the first thing Zhan said was, "I can't hear his heartbeat any more." He still had his head on his dead husband's chest, and those words made even me cry. Of course, I didn't tell Zhan this before, but that's the way it was. Well, anyway, after that, I went into my grandma's room, who wondered where I was, and told her what I had seen.

She pressed my head to her shoulder and said she was proud of me, because I did not leave him alone and I cried like a baby. Because I couldn't get the words and the sad look of Zhan out of my mind. Even weeks later I wondered how he was doing now.

And then, then the ambulance came and took Zhan to the hospital in a critical condition. I was only there because Seung-Youn burned his hand. I was standing outside at the entrance talking on the phone when they brought Zhan and my heart almost stopped itself when I saw him. And then I heard the phone call from Hae Jin who said that Zhan tried to end his own life.

I wanted to grab Hae Jin by the collar and shake him. How could he leave Zhan alone?

I went to the hospital the next day and asked about Zhan, luckily I knew his name. The nurse said he was getting better and he could go home soon. I went to his room and looked through the small window at the room door. I saw him lying there, crying and pressing something firmly against his chest.

"I'm scared about him." Someone next to me whispered. Shocked, I tore my eyes away from Zhan and looked into the eyes of Hae Jin. He looked tired, and as if he had been crying all night.

He didn't ask me any questions, didn't even want to know why I was watching Zhan and said instead. "Thanks for watching him." Then he went to Zhan's room and sat next to him. He left the door a crack open and said that everyone was worried about him and reminded him that Seo Joon would never want this. "Joon would kick your ass if he knew you tried to take your own life. Do you think he'd be happy if you ended your life?"

I stood in front of the room for maybe half an hour and only then, when Zhan had fallen asleep, did I leave again. I couldn't stop thinking about him and hoping that he would get better soon.

That was over two years ago now and we are now a couple. And I am afraid again. I'm afraid of losing Zhan!

So far I couldn't tell Zhan the full truth, not that I didn't want to, but I think it would be too much. Even if he finds out the rest. I can't tell him yet, I have to wait. And in the meantime, I'll make the best of my time with him.

I didn't know it then, I had no idea that I had fallen in love with him then. I had not been aware of that for a long time, because I had been much too busy with myself, my life and my problems. But in spite of all this, I always had to think of him and asked myself continuously how he was doing. I always wished I could see him again.

When I saw him sitting in the kitchen in the company and crying, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I finally saw him again and again he cried. And when I learned the reason why he cried, I wanted to break He Peng's neck after causing him unspeakable pain.

Soon Zhan will know the truth, and it scares me. Afraid that he won't understand, feels hurt, hates me, and leaves me. The thought of losing Zhan almost drives me crazy. I can't lose him, I cannot lose him.

ZhanZhan has no idea how much he means to me and how much I love him and how difficult it is for me not to tell him this all the time.

Whenever I think about losing Zhan, I feel like Zhan did when he lost Seo Joon. This may sound presumptuous, but it's the truth.

At the airport, I saw Zhan right away. I think even out of a million people, I would immediately recognize him. And when Tim suddenly appeared and hugged me, I reacted only automatically, not willingly. I kept my eyes on Zhan the whole time and when I saw him turn around and walk away, I pushed Tim to the side and ran after Zhan with a touch of panic in me.

I even hit Tim, something I wanted and should have done at that time but didn't dare. But today I didn't mind. I punched him in the face twice and I didn't care. When it comes to Zhan, I lose my composure and show where the hammer is. Just like I did with He Peng!

Now finally Zhan and I are a couple and I could not be happier right now. I don't think our future together is just starting now. I think that this was already the day when I saw Zhan for the first time. I think even then the basis for our future together was laid.