Teaching Noah | √

029

THANKSGIVING WAS LESS than two weeks away, and every year since I was thirteen, I found it a little difficult to be thankful, but this year, I couldn't deny the fact that I felt grateful. And let's say that it just happened that I wasn't feeling thankful, I knew I had reasons to be.

The house was usually filled every Thanksgiving with people I love. River would come and Renée would follow sometimes. Then, Marley and Mason. Cheyenne, Mason's girlfriend would come with him too. If Simon wasn't spending the day with his parents, he always made sure he was present, bringing Drew and Luke along if they weren't spending the time with their mom— but this was rare.

It was the time when Mom showed off her cooking skills. There would always be loads of food, and if Renée came, then there were loads of cupcakes coupled with the pastry Mom already makes. We would eat to our fill, and then move to the living room to play games.

Thanksgiving was usually also a time when I would suck in all my anger at the world and pretend to be smile. Simon would notice and call me aside to speak to me in a bid to make me feel better. Overall, Thanksgiving usually ended up with me in tears and laughter, but I had a good feeling about this year which made me look forward to it.

"Before River left, didn't he say he would be back soon?" I lazily raised my head up from the island table. I still felt a bit groggy because it wasn't my intention to wake up as early as I did, but Coco wouldn't stop whining.

"You have to remember that at the end of the day, River has his own place to live," Mom chuckled.

Sometimes I forgot that River was a grown man. He had responsibilities. He had a career, and was in a relationship he had been committed to since he was a teenager.

"I know. I forget sometimes."

"I don't blame you. You're so used to him, it warms my heart."

I nodded, but felt the need to ask this pressing question, "I wish it was the same with Marley. She doesn't like me much, does she?"

Mom looked at me like she was caught off guard and her shoulders sagged, "Honey. . . why would you ask that?"

"I just want to know," I shrugged. "We never talk. She never talks to me. . . I guess I just wish we had some kind of relationship. I expected to be closer to her, you know?"

"It's not that she doesn't like you—"

"Why does it feel like that then? There's always tension between us and it shouldn't be, but I always feel the need to be careful around her in order not to make her mad at me or anything," I paused. "It makes me nervous merely thinking I'll be seeing her for Thanksgiving."

Mom moved to give me a hug, "Have you felt like this every Thanksgiving?"

I nodded, "Have you never noticed?"

"No, honey. I'm  sorry," she answered in a silent whisper.

"It's not your fault."

"Do you need me to talk to her?"

I shook my head, "No, you don't have to. . . it's actually fine."

Mom seemed to want to say something but she let it be. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that Renée will be coming for Thanksgiving?"

I felt a smile spread across her face, "Is she really coming?"

"Mhm," she nodded. "River called to tell me early this morning."

"That's awesome, I can't wait to see her," I clapped my hands in excitement.

I loved Renée. And it wasn't just because she baked cupcakes for me on my 11th year birthday, but because she was the one girlfriend of River who didn't look at me differently. One of River's girlfriends, Chloe, was horrid to me. My mind travelled to the first time I expressed a tic in front of her. The way she went ballistic and looked embarrassed to be around me. Whenever River had work to do, he would ask her to look after me. One tic, and she would freak out and call River to come get me. It wasn't the same with Renée.