Hidden Beauty (Under Reconstruction)

Chapter 20 ~

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  I spent the rest the period talking to Mark. Keeping the most important things out, of course. Turns out, he moved here two years ago and lived with his mom and step-dad. He's cheerful and odd, but in a good way.

 Mark walked me to second period since he had it as well. He sat all the way up front and I was left in the back, with Cain. Cain didn't try to speak to me and I felt more guilt gnawing at my insides. I ducked my hooded head down lower, nearly touching the desk.

He's helped me so much. Given Casey and I shelter, he cared about me, and how do I repay him? By going off about how I need some space. It's true, kinda. I mean, if I say no, I want him to respect that.

If he had listened before, then I would still be being beat.  - A voice pointed out.
We weren't in a relationship then. - I countered. And I just want some time to figure out how to fix this. There's something bigger going on than being in love. I mean like. Like.

  The bell rang and I jumped, not expecting the sudden noise. Cain fled the room, but paused at the door frame and looked back at me over his shoulder. He sighed and turned back around, blending into the crowd. I lifted my things and left, destination cafeteria.

  I sat a Risa and I's table, smiling at it's familiarity. Something that always stayed the same. Risa looked around and spotted me at our table. She grinned and walked over, plopping down next to me. I let my head droop and it hit her shoulder. I missed my best friend. Just her presence.

  I felt another person sit across from me and tilted my head up, watching Mark.

 "Hey," I greeted, voice tired. Risa coughed slightly and I blushed. Oh yeah.

"Risa this is Mark, Mark - Risa." Mark grasped her hand, gently. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed it, muttering :

"Charmed."

  Risa blushed and smiled back, sloppily.

 Mark smirked at her and turned to me. I barely noticed, I was too busy watching Cain as he walked through the lunchroom, legs taking confident strides. He shook out his dark hair and gave the guys a sexy smirk. Well, I hope they didn't find it sexy.

  "You love him, don't you?" Mark asked, his voice soft.

 I switched my gaze to him and opened my mouth to deny it, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't form, like they were tired of lying. Instead, I said something just as smart.

 "He doesn't love me." I mumbled, looking down. Risa put and arm around my shoulder. Mark sighed and patted one of the hands I had laying on the table. I glanced up at him.

 "Look at his expression right now, and tell me he doesn't love you."

 I listened and warily turned my head. He was talking to his new friends, smiling and laughing, but he was faking. His body was tense and his eyes flitted across the room every minute or so. He shifted his weight often and his jaw was clenched. He just looked unhappy and uncomfortable.

  His eyes surveyed the room again and landed on me. He didn't know I could see him of course. I made it look like I was facing Mark, my hood making it easy. He stared at me longingly and sadly.

He snapped back to attention just in time to pretend laugh with the guys in front of him.

  "What you saw just now, the look in his eyes, it's what you look like when you look at him." Mark observed.

 He sighed again and I turned my head back, nearly forgetting Risa was there. My thoughts turned to how bad I felt. I was mean to him and I was making him jealous... purposely! I covered my face with my hands, fighting the urge to smack myself. I was such a horrible person.

  I was mean and nasty. What happened to me? I sucked in a breath. I can't do this anymore.

 "I can't do the Jealousy thing anymore." Mark and I said at the same time. We both jerked up, staring at each other.

 "Why?" We asked, again at the same time. Risa gave a little laugh from next to me. Mark  ran a hand through his choppy hair.

 "The way you guys look at each other... it's amazing. I can't get in the way of that. It's like even though you're supposed to be mad at each other, you can't. Almost like it's impossible. Not to mention, every time you notice him move a little, you change positions. And you do that because you want to have some connection through this distance," He took a deep breath.

  "And, you're eyes always drift to each other whenever the other isn't looking. Like you know. It's crazy."

  I was shocked. How did he notice this when we didn't? But, now that I think about it, I could tell when Cain stared at me. My heartbeat would skip and there would be a tingling on my neck.

  I closed my eyes, to tell if it was true. Could our connection be that deep? I focused on myself, the feelings floating around inside. I listened closely to my heartbeat.

 Ba-Bump

 Ba-Bump

 Ba-Bump

 Ba-Bump

 Ba-Bump

Ba-Bump

- Bump- Bump-

 I felt a squeeze and my face flushed. I whipped my head and sure enough, Cain was sitting across the room, head leaning on his hand, just staring at me. He had been caught and he seemed like he didn't care less.

  Even without confirming it visually, my body reacted. Pretty neat. I stared back at him. He was still perched at the edge of the popular's table, completely ignoring what they said. Some guy nudged him gently and said something that made Cain's emerald eyes snap away from me.

  His face turned harsh and he forced some words through clenched teeth. Everyone but Cain fell in bouts of raucous laughter. Cain hopped off the edge of his seat and exited the room, steps never faltering. Was he always so graceful? I wondered.

 "Go." Mark tapped the top of my hand.

"Yeah. Go." Risa chimed in.

  I stood up, heartbeat thrumming in my veins.

 "Go! Go! Go!" The two cheered as I ran from the table, leaving my things behind. 

  I shoved the metal doors apart and the sudden rush of air made my hair swirl. I looked frantically down the hall, left and right. I took a right at the nearest hall, cursing quietly when I realized he wasn't there.

  I backtracked and slipped down the next hall on my left, wrong again. I was getting impatient. I walked in a straight line and turned at the next corner, appluading myself when I saw Cain leaning against the lockers.

  He was breathing deeply and his eyes were closed. I took a moment to appraise him, really drink him in.

 Starting with long legs that were usually busy to get somewhere, or just stretched out, relaxing. Dark jeans covered them. A red graphic tee was covering his muscular chest. A chest that hurt a little to be crushed against, but felt perfect all the same. A chiseled jaw that was usually slack, though now it was locked, in an angry or upset way.

  Perfect lips that formed words for teasing or soothing me, not to mention, they apparently longed to kiss me. A straight, adorable nose. Closed eyes and long lashes concealed my favorite part. The emerald green eyes that somehow always smoldered and knew when I was lying. Those soul-searching green eyes. Then finally dark as midnight hair that creeped down past his forehead, ending only a couple centimeters above his brows.

  "Like what you see?" He asked, opening my his beautiful eyes. They stared at me for a moment, looking hurt, happy, confused, but most of all - caring. That's when I realized..

 "I'm in love with you."

  Oops.