Unwilling To Hate You (MAJOR EDITING)

11

Camilla's POV

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I knew how bad it was. I knew I crossed a line that should've never been crossed. It was only a matter of time anyway. It was for my own good. Now no one would question me on whether I'm gay. No one would think I'm even close to being gay. Jack couldn't say it or question me about it, because I had just gone and hurt his best friend by disagreeing with her lifestyle.

But something was going on in this house, and I was adamant to find out what. To know that her father does'nt agree with Charlie's lifestyle nearly hit me hard too, because he was a very important figure in her life, and I knew how much it would hurt to get put down over something so personal with one of her most vulnerable attributes. But then again, who was I to sympathise, I wasn't like her. I was nothing like her and I never would be.

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Charlie's POV

"Hello?"His voice crackled through the phone.

"Jack it's me."I said.

"Charlie, what's up?" He questioned, his voice filled with worry.

"I need your help Jack, come over when you're done with work." I said.

"Of course, I'll be there in ten, no work today, your father says we weren't needed." He stated.

"Okay see you in a bit." I ended the call, chucking my phone on the bed, knowing that I'm not gonna need it anytime soon again. I got out of my messy state, into the shower to relieve me of the stress that's been following me for a while.After about five minutes in the shower, I got changed and headed downstairs, for the first time, in three days. I was still hurt. By my dad. By Camilla. By my mother even though she wasn't there. I wasn't liked for my sexuality. Jack knew I was gay and he was the only true one, if he was okay with it then why wasn't anyone else?

I went into the kitchen and was surprised to see my dad still here, he's meant to be at work. When he noticed it was me, he started.

"Charlie we can't disagree on this forever." He said, trying to rationalise the argument.

"You're the only one who disagrees." I said simply, moving to fill the kettle up.

"Charlie, don't be smart. You know that no matter whether I disagree or not I still love you."

"Then why are you pushing this? Just fuck off dad, I don't need you to decide how I should live." I dropped the kettle on the stand and pressed the button down to boil it. I grabbed a cup as he was about to start again but thankfully, our argument ended the second someone walked in.

"Look, I'll say this and this only, no matter who you decide to sleep with, whether I disagree or not I want you to come to me if you need any help. Ask me for help. I have the resources that could help you with anything, all you need to do is ask. Okay?" He said, trying to become more logical.

"Whatever." I dismissed him.

"What's going on?" A familiar voice questioned. I carried on making my drink, no words needed. I went to the pantry, got the sugar then made my way back. As I was about to open the sugar, it was snatched away from me. Camilla. I glared at her but this time she wasn't wearing her usual smug face.

"What's going on?" she pushed.

"Ask him." I commented, pointing at my dad. She looked towards him, furrowed her eyebrows, then back at me.

"Why don't you tell me?" she asked curiosuly.

I shrugged, snatched the sugar back and finished making my drink. She was still stood there, my dad too, watching me. I ignored them and made my way to the sofa to watch tv. I decided to watch a cartoon to drown my sorrows in. It would have been great if I could actually hear it though over their nattering about me.

"Can you shut up?" I groaned.

"You had the chance to tell me Charlie, and now I'm doing exactly what you told me to do, asking your dad."

"What's it got to do with you Camilla? You are not a member of this family, keep away from things that don't involve you."

"I am trying to help. Arguing isn't going to get either of you anywhere, and holding a grudge certainly won't." She reasoned, which I understood. She'd gone into doctor mode, being rational.

"You caused this. You." I said, ending the conversation.

"I have one question Charlie."

"If it means you'll shut that hole of yours then please, do ask."

"Where's Mrs Monaco." She asked, innocently.

"We don't talk about that Camilla dear." My dad interrupted.

"Oh? We seem to tell her everything else? Why not this too?" I huffed, folding my arms against me.

"Well?" She asked again, despite the matter being made clear that this was unknown ground even for me and dad.

I huffed and grabbed ahold of her top, shoving her into the wall.

"You're lucky I was hired to protect you before this, because I guarantee that it would have been me who was fucking after you."  I threatened.

"Did your mother leave you because you're gay?"she pushed. I cupped her throat and pushed on it slightly, really trying not to hurt her.

"Don't push it."  I seethed towards her.

"Don't get any funny ideas." She warned.

"Believe me I won't." I sneered.

"I should hope not. Fucking disgusting." She whispered.

I closed my eyes and put my hands each side of her to hold myself up, and looked down, to calm myself. I was breathing heavily and there was no one to calm me. I hadn't gotten this angry since my mother stopped speaking to me. She was the only one that could calm me, and I lost her because I'm gay. I lost dad when I started proving that I was much more capable than what he thinks a girl should do, and the gay thing didn't help. I lost my own mother, because I'm gay. What is this world? So many opinions to compete with when in reality, does any of it really matter? People are always going to have contradictory views, it's always been like that, but to have an opinion on someone's preference and the way they live their life, why is that acceptable to some people? Why do some people feel so entitled that they can sit and think that their view is so valid and important that they feel the need to share it? Because they're cowards. Because they would rather fuss over someone else's life than actually get their own life to the place they truly want it to be. It's a lack of ambition. The lack of willingness and how easy it is to just give up. It's so much easier to give up than carry on, so most people fall victim to that and care more about other people than themselves.

Sometimes, the right amount of selfishness is needed to level the human race out. Some people have the scales all wrong.

Unbelievable what some people think.
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