32. ᴄᴀʙɪɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪʟʟs

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I was visiting a friend of mine who lives in Virginia. He has a nice little cabin in the mountains that holds a mere four people max. The highlight of his little home is his massive basement. This thing has to be 4x the size of the house itself. He turned it into the ultimate man-cave complete with beer cooler, multiple TVs, couches, bean bags, pinball machine, pool table, you name it. The perks of being a bachelor know no bounds. He and I were having a few drinks with some of his friends and playing video games one night when we all fell asleep in our respective seats. I woke up around 4 AM with an insane urge to pee due to the drinking earlier in the night. I went to use the bathroom but the door was locked. I could hear water running so I figured one of his buddies was using the bathroom. I walked up the stairs to use the upstairs bathroom and when I turned the handle, the knob fell off. ‘Well, shit,’ I thought to myself. I’ll just wait until his friend gets out of the bathroom so I can go next.

I turned to walk back down the stairs when one of the steps below my feet collapsed. I fell through the step and caught onto the low board adjacent to the one that fell. The staircase is pretty high up so I was kind of dangling there in a daze. My friend and his buddies all wake up and ask what I’m doing. I tell them the board broke underneath my feet. As I was trying to lower myself down to the ground, the bathroom door flings open and slams into the wall. We all look at the door and there’s no one inside. The lights turn off, the sink stops running, then the door slowly starts closing again. I let go of the step in fear and crash to the ground. All the others in the room stand up and cautiously start backing up toward the stairs. We hear the toilet flush from behind the closed door and all start screaming. They booked it upstairs while I scrambled to get out from beneath the stairs but our escape was all in vain. I had ripped the doorknob off so we couldn’t get the door open. This basement had just about everything you could want, but it was lacking any kind of exit aside from the door that I broke. My buddy was jiggling the knob stump and slamming the door with his shoulder but it wouldn’t budge. Then, out of nowhere, the door bursts open and the pile of scared men falls into the living room. We all rushed into the living room, closed the basement door, and slept on the couches. No one could explain what happened the next day and my buddy avoided his glorious man cave for a few days afterward. I haven’t been back to his cabin in a while, but he claims nothing like that has happened since my visit.

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