XIV

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For the next two weeks, I was fully focused on finals. These were the four most important finals of the first semester, and they were just before Christmas break. Around this time, I would always lock myself up in my room and study all the time. I didn't see anyone, except for my brother sometimes. He was in charge of taken care of me, making sure I still drank and ate while I was trying to memorize everything.

I only had three finals, but they were big when you were a medical student. I studied all through the month, but the week before I would always go crazy and get some hard-core sessions in. I wouldn't go out at all, and I wouldn't drink one sip of alcohol until the last final, which was Thursday.

When that day came, I was happier than I could imagine. I walked out of the building and smiled, breathing in my first free breath after a month. Students around me almost ran out, some yelling that they were heading straight to the pub and get drinks. I just decided to head home first and then call Mary, she might be up for some fun.

I sighed when I got to my car, seeing Chris standing against it. He had called me just before I went into my study week, saying that he had missed me lately. I told him that I was really busy and after finals I would love to make time for him again. I hadn't realized that that excuse wasn't going to work now that he was standing in front of me.

"Hey, do you know Lotus May? She's this girl I'm seeing, but she's gone a bit M.I.A lately," he jokingly said when I got to my car. I opened the door and threw my stuff on the passenger seat, turning to him.

"I'm sorry about that," I smiled at him. He grabbed my waist and brought me closer, giving me a kiss on my lips. I felt foreign, not something that should've happened between us. I used to enjoy kissing him, but not anymore. There was no spark.

"Well, I might know why you've been distant," he said.

Shit.

"Oh, you do?" I asked, trying to figure out if this was about what I thought it was about without panicking.

"I've just not told you enough about myself, so I get that you might want some space," he answered. I breathed out in relieve, but also felt bad for him. If anyone hadn't told enough about themselves, it was me. Like for example, that I was a lying piece of shit. "Usually, around this time of the year, we celebrate Thanksgiving back in the States. I thought I could let you in on this tradition by cooking an amazing meal for you. All you have to do is sit, enjoy some red wine and good food."

"That sounds really nice," I said. It might be the little push I needed to choose him over Roger. "When are you expecting me?"

"How about Tuesday? You can take the weekend to unwind from finals," he proposed. I nodded approvingly. He gave me one last kiss before telling me goodbye. I got in my car and saw him waving at me when I started the engine and drove away.

It made me feel bad that I wasn't being honest with him, but I told myself that nothing would happen again between me and Roger. Chris was a really good guy, and I needed to focus on him. He would make me happy.

I drove home in silent. Usually, I had the radio on, but not today. I wasn't feeling up to any music right now. When I arrived home, the first thing I did was take a nap. It was only four in the afternoon and I needed some sleep if I was planning on getting drunk tonight – which I was.

After sleeping for a little over an hour, I showered, got ready and made some dinner for myself. I had a wild guess that my brother was out with the guys or Chrissie, so I didn't bother to make him some dinner. There were enough leftovers in the fridge anyway. I called Mary after dinner, asking her to come over.

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