Some old works.

Why must I torture myself so?

Note: I was cleaning my Google Drive then I found this on one of the folders. I can't really think of a proper title so I used the filename as the title hehe. Not sure if this is a prologue, or if this is a smaller picture of a bigger story, but well, I don't know if I have plans to continue this story. Still, worth posting because it is an old work after all. :P

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"Hey, Gil."

"What?"

"What if the lights inside those paper lanterns become stars? I mean they'll reach the night skies soon enough."

I know it's implausible. We both know that the fire inside would slowly fade away and the paper lantern would just drift across the atmosphere until it lands somewhere else. However, it's still good to imagine about it, that the lanterns yearn to reach their sister stars, excited to see Altair, Vega, Rigel, Sirius, Betelgeuse, and the other thousands of stars that we could name all night.

If you were an acquaintance who knew Gillian through a GE (general elective) course, you would expect him, with a serious face, to quickly point that out, that there's no way those paper lanterns will become our guiding stars.

Instead, he slightly nodded, his eyes focused on the lanterns flying far away from us.

"Yeah. What if?"

I looked at his face, at how he watched the heavenly scene unfold, how his facial muscles relaxed, his mouth slightly open, his eyes making a dreamy gaze.

I didn't know how long I was looking at him, how long I was admiring his vulnerable side.

I could imagine the gears and cogs in his head turning and meshing. Instead of processing information from his readings for his majors, he would imagine how the lanterns become one with the night sky, how they shed their paper facades and join the parade of stars.

"They'll probably reach the moon while they're at it," he added.

Ah, the moon. The moon, in its bright, perfectly round glory, has joined the parade of stars tonight. The moon, the ever mysterious moon, who sometimes show only half of itself. Sometimes it does not show up at all. Maybe it's to give spotlight to the stars; when the moon appears fully, it hogs all the spotlight, especially when it gets blessed with a blue or red tint or if it decides to get closer to humans like us, but those are very rare occasions.

I, however, never looked at the moon. I didn't return my gaze to the night sky. My eyes remained unlifted as I drown myself in Gillian's serene radiance, who shone brighter than the stars and the moon.

It's been a while ever since I felt so pleasant, so comfortable. I wanted to stay a little longer. No, maybe I want time to stand still. I want to save this heavenly moment.

It's been a long time ever since I had this feeling.

When did I have this kind of feeling again? I forgot. It's been a very long time.

Still, I'm glad. I'm glad that a great friend like Gillian could evoke such feelings inside me.

Great friend?

I sharply looked away from him, who didn't seem to notice that I was staring at him for minutes. I don't know why, but the fact that he was a great friend to me slightly bothered me.

I mean, he wasn't lacking in terms of giving or offering his friendship to me. In fact, he was the complete package. He was my refuge. He was the one who always pulled me up and help me become the best version of myself.

My gut feeling says that 'great friend' isn't the most accurate phrase for him to describe. He's definitely not something less, but something more.

Definitely something more.