guns and roses | h. sanzu

chapter 24 : in another life

rindou's pov

ever wonder how it feels seeing your first love getting married to someone else?

it hurts and i mean it but her happiness matters to me more than anyone else. it was back then when she caught my eye, the first time i laid my eyes on her i knew she was the one.

i didn't know how to express my feelings but in the end, i decided to play a stupid game with her. i regret everything i did because i didn't just lost the game but i also lost her.

calling every gangs in roppongi to look for her was hard. i used my money, power and it wasn't enough. my she was nowhere to be found and didn't leave any traces. my brother told me to stop and let her be.

seeing her after many years shattered my heart, sanzu's with us, and if i did something that might disappoint him he might kill me. that's why i pretended not to know her and she did the same. does she not remember me anymore?

sanzu entered the flower shop, he seems surprised and i furrowed my eyebrows. before me and ran left the shop, i took a last glance at sanzu and noticed his cheeks flustered and his ears red while looking at y/n.

does he know her? what's his relationship with her? this might be bad.

a week passed by and i saw her once again in our party. koko invited her and even bought her a dress. she keeps on pulling men from here and there.

after talking to her in the bathroom i offered to play again with her. even after many years i'm still the same, i never really changed but she did.

wiping her tears as i kneel and comforted her. she tried to stop me but i forced myself on to her. i hate seeing her cry and it hurts more because i'm the one who's at fault.

sanzu seems to be interested in her, he carried her in his arms as if it was nothing. i tried to steal her away but he pointed a gun at my head.

i left them and stayed at the balcony. if he's interested in her then does that mean he's my rival?

"now that's how it is huh." i scoffed, running my hands on my hair. i'm frustrated and i feel uneasy.

i waited and kept waiting for her answer on the game i suggested. not until my brother ran told me that she's living with sanzu now.

"what do i do now?" laying on my bed as i hug a pillow burying my face on it.

"did i lose already? no, i already lose years ago so what's the difference now?" i didn't realize that i already fell asleep that night.

my days went by fast and every time i see her there would always be a heavy feeling in my chest.

"should i steal her brother?" i asked ran that's now in my office.

"rindou, i know you love her but let her be and she seems happy already." my brother threw me some papers and it fell on the floor.

"i know she's happy but it just hurts how she can smile like that without me."

my plan was clear, everything was ready, and i know i'm being selfish but then i realized if i steal her away from sanzu that means losing her smile.

calling all my subordinates and told them that their mission was stopped. i was sitting behind my door as i brought my knees close to my face.

"fuck.. what will i do now?" my shoulders were shaking and my sobs filled the room.

remembering what happened this day when i saw her cooking for sanzu. i saw how her eyes shine, how her lips curls into a beautiful smile, how she takes care of sanzu, and how she gives him kisses.

"i want to be sanzu.." i whispered in the quiet room.

after a year of going to parties, flirting with other women, and even going on dates that i don't even do. i did everything just to forget her but whenever i'm with another woman my eyes kept seeing her.

sometimes i wish i never met her.

there was an opening, a chance to steal her away from sanzu but this time i decided to set her free little by little. telling her that i'll always be here but in the end, she still chose him.

for the years i spent waiting for her my heart broke into pieces when i saw sanzu kneeling in front of her. she was crying with happiness.

my brother gave me a pat on the back as he gave me a smile. that's right, i should be happy for her and that's what i wanted but it hurts so much.

y/n looked at me and i gave her a smile, a sincere smile because she's happy and that's what matters.

time is healing, that's what people said and she proved that to me. up until this day i still love her but the love i'm giving her wasn't suffocating anymore. it was the love that i failed to give her when she was still with me.

it was later then when i found out she was in love with me but didn't know that i felt the same. i hated myself, it was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to tell her how much i love her but i didn't.

"if our love was once in a lifetime then why couldn't it last forever?"

the love she desperately searched for years, the love that she deserved, and the love sanzu showed her.

clapping my hands as everyone welcomed y/n in her beautiful white gown. she looks like an angel, a beautiful lady, and the only woman i loved dearly.

sometimes i asked myself that maybe if i learn how to express my feelings properly will things be different now? would i be the one standing on sanzu's place?

time will heal me and everything will be okay.

it hurts how i was the first one to love her yet here i am watching her get married to another man. i should've taken good care of you when I was your man.

thank you y/n for teaching me how to wait, how to forgive, and how to love. i wish you genuine happiness, i'll continue to love and protect you like i did since the beginning.

in this lifetime i couldn't have you but i promise to look for you and give you the love i failed to give. in another life, you will be my woman.

taking a glimpse at sanzu, seeing how he forced himself not to cry makes me laugh, i offered him my handkerchief and stood proudly beside him as his best friend and his best man.