WARNING: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF AU/WRITING, THEN DON'T READ. NO SORT OF BAD COMMENTS ARE ALLOWED!
Lan zhan (wangji), a beautiful merman from the underwater cultivator realm falls in love with Cultivator and deep-sea diver Wei Wuxian. Let's...
On the following night, after their hunt, Wei Wuxian held a secret party at his dorm. It was him, Jiang cheng, Nie hauisang and 13 bottles of emperor's smile. Nie hauisang also contributed by bringing peanuts. So now, while they relished the liquor, they started chatting and teasing each other. "I like my significant others like my wine. Soft and mellow." Wei Wuxian says. "And from Gusu." Jiang cheng add. "Ahahahaha Jiang Xiong!" Nie hauisang laughed. "Um no! And who told you that I like someone from Gusu." "Well you keep hanging around lan zhan like a horse fly. And you always talk about him." "Noo, he's my friend." "You literally told me that he's hot." "Jiang cheng shhhh. Don't say these things." "The truth?!" "Ok fine, it's true, I think lan zhan is hot. He just needs me to break him out his strictness." Wei Wuxian laughed. "And I think I have a perfect idea. Haha." "Leave Hanguang Jun alone please." "He will stab you with bichen." Nie hauisang hid behind his fan. "Why should I be afraid of bichen. I have a sword too. Suibian!" "Hmm." "But forget about lan zhan. I want to date a merman." Wei Wuxian announced. "Wei Xiong, do you mean mermaid?" "Hey hey, any can work." Wei adds. "I heard that they're really good looking." "I heard the same, in one of the books I was reading. They're clingy and possessive creatures when they fall in love with something.........or someone." Nie hauisang said. "I would also love to see one but I'm afraid to go underwater." "Why fear?! Look I'm a diver, and I find that it's fun." "Good for you. It's not my cup of tea." "Hey A-sang, you didn't tell me how did the tian zi xiao taste." "It was amazing!!" "What about you chengcheng? Will it be an excellent bachelor drink?" Wei Wuxian chuckled. "What do you mean by bachelor drink?!" "Well you need something to drink while you're single, and some woman, heavens know, comes and decides to date you. I don't know who would, but every butter has its cheese." Wei Wuxian replied. "It's every bread has it's cheese, idiot." Jiang cheng snapped. "You'll find a woman like emperor's smile." Nie hauisang remarked. "Isn't that so!" Wei Wuxian burst into laughter. "Our Jiang cheng will be an empress. They grow up so fast. I'm a proud parent." "Ew no, an empress?!! And what the heck do you mean by proud parent. Don't use your big brother privileges on me!" "Lol. Now do the world a favour and just marry the jar." "Ahahahaha, I now pronounce you man and jar, you may kiss." Nie hauisang adds. "You stop with your nonsense!" Jiang cheng got up and began to chase Wei ying and Nie hauisang around the room. "If you spank me I'll complain to your jar wife." Wei ying stuck out his tongue. "Wei Xiong, I'm out of breath! I can't run anymore. Also I'm dizzy." "The empress will catch us, nie Xiong! Hahahaha." "You call me empress one more time!!!!"
"What's going on here?" A voice made them all pause, and then caused them to act 'civil' more than untamed. "Oh lan zhan." Wei Wuxian smiled mischievously. "Nothing is going on. You can come hang with us, there are plenty of refreshments." "You have again sneaked alcohol into the cloud Recesses. And created a ruckus. You have broken many rules." Lan zhan stated. "That's the longest sentence I have ever heard you say. Congrats." "Know that you'll get punished tomorrow." "Tomorrow. Lan zhan. Let's focus on tonight. I think it's really cold tonight, and alcohol makes me feel warm. You're maybe feeling cold too, right." "Shut up." "What do you say." Wei ying tugged lan zhan's sleeves. "You, me, emperor's smile, and two drunk witnesses." "Boring." "I want to throw up!" Jiang cheng ran outside, along with nie hauisang. Thereafter, lan zhan was also going to leave, but Wei Wuxian stuck talisman on his back causing him to stop. That talisman however put lan zhan in a sort of trance. "Lan zhan?" Wei Wuxian called. "Heehee." Wei Wuxian then sat down and poured some Emperor's Smile into a cup. "Since you're here, I think you should sit and relax. And have a drink with me." Hearing his request, lan zhan sat next to him and drank a whole cup of emperor's smile. After glaring at Wei ying's lips, he rested his head on the table and fell asleep. "Oh my goodness, lan zhan you can't sleep here!" Wei Wuxian panicked. "Gosh. Even his ears are red. That's kind of surprising for a guy who doesn't even blush." "Now how to hide a drunk body?" Wei ying thought.
Later on, Wei ying placed lan zhan on the bed, and covered him up. All lan zhan did was reply with a tiny hiccup. "Hmmm, you really can't drink alcohol." Wei ying chuckled, and took a drink from his bottle. "Wei ying." Lan zhan called. "Sleep..." "Me? Nop, too early to sleep." "9pm." "I see, that's when the Lans are supposed to sleep." Wei ying says. "Mn." Lan zhan added. "Lan rules are not made for me. But you are." There was one minute of silence. "Man!! I was trying to make you blush. I have failed! Did you have stones for breakfast, lan zhan?!" Wei ying exclaimed. "Oh look, your forehead ribbon is tilted." "Tilted?!!" "Yea let me fix it." "Don't touch!!" "Why? It's a forehead ribbon. No big deal." Wei ying said. "Only oneself, family members and one's significant other can touch it." Lan zhan stated. "Ahahahaha. Well lan zhan, when you came to check up on me 15minutes before your bedtime. It made me feel significant." Wei ying laughed. "What?" Lan zhan seemed confused. "Like a significant friend, don't worry." "You're boring." "And you like boring." Wei ying teased him. "I know you can't get enough of me. But I can't help that I'm adorable." "I must sleep, Wei ying." He rest and closed his eyes again. "Sure go ahead. I know you're afraid of grumpy old lan. I am too." Soon after, lan wangji fell asleep, and Wei wuxian placed his (lan zhan's) hand on his chest. Then he decided to go outside for some fresh air. The Lan bedtime however had a mystical secret behind it too, because that was the time when merfolk get back their tails. Merfolk get to spend the whole day with legs if they wish, but they can't come into contact with water. Their legs will come back at dawn. Also merfolk can turn to their original form if they like. But then how do the two Jades of lan sleep? Sometimes they would sleep in the cold pond at the back of the cloud Recesses, or they'll just sleep on their beds with their tails. They won't suffocate because they're half human. So, at the strike of 9, lan zhan's legs morphed into a tail.
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"No. What if Wei ying sees. Panic." Lan zhan thought. Then he tried to cover it with the sheets. Thereafter footprints paced the floor, as Wei ying was coming back in. "I feel dizzy. The alcohol is kicking in. Lan zhan is right. I think I should sleep." Wei ying said, then he fell asleep on the floor. "Goodnight lan zhan." Luckily Wei ying was too drunk to see Lan zhan's tail. Certainly he would faint if he sees a tail shining like a wet jade in the moonlight. Now lan zhan wrapped his body in glowing white cloth and flew to his jingshi.
Next morning, Wei Wuxian, Lan zhan, Jiang cheng and Nie hauisang were about to get punished for violating the rules. "Please don't punish Lan zhan! I'm the one who made him drink! I'm sorry." Wei ying pleaded. "Silence!!" "But clan leader lan." "Wei ying! Don't think that since your mother is Cangse Senren, you can get away with being punished!" Lan qiren exclaimed. A hint of sadness and surprise. "You know my mom?! Anyways clan leader, I'm not the one trying to get away. Beat us and save lan zhan." "500 lashes each." Lan qiren ordered. After the punishment, their backs became so sore and bruised that they couldn't even walk straight. Now Yanli had to support her brothers, as they were in this painful state. "Aiyyooo. Shijie, I think I need a new spine!!" "Axian!" Yanli laughed. "Wei Wuxian, you did this to me!" Jiang cheng yelled. "Hey no yelling in the cloud Recesses." Wei ying teased him. "Shut up." "Hey stop fighting. I'll make some soup for you two. It will ease the pain." Yanli suggests. "Thanks Jiejie." "Thanks Shijie!" "Oh hi Wei Gongzi and Jiang Gongzi. Hi Miss Jiang." Lan xichen confronted them. "Hi zewu Jun." "I know our punishments are very harsh, and would leave you with sores. So I decided to give you a suggestion." Lan xichen adds. "Right at the back of the cloud Recesses, there's our cold spring. It will definitely help with the sores and bruises. Take my word for it, it's a lan thing." "Nah I'll pass. I'll just sleep it off." Jiang cheng added. "Ok, thanks Zewu Jun." Wei ying replied. "I'll do that, and then maybe do some diving." "Ok then. Do whatever you want. And Wei Gongzi, I apologize on the behalf of my uncle, for bringing up your mother. I have heard that she was a student here." "It's ok, Zewu Jun, I'm not upset." "I have also heard that she was mischievous and rebellious like you." "Hmm." Wei ying smiled. "Well, I'll be on my way. Bye."
