Written in Ink

Forty-nine | Alonzo

 Of course I want kids and a family with Reagan. Why would she say "I don't know"? I thought she'd want a family. Or maybe she does and just not with me.

Then she was subconsciously rambling about the college she was accepted in and my heart dropped for her. How could I take so much from her?

I told myself that I physically and mentally cannot let her go, cannot be without her but look what I'm doing to her. Look what keeping her here is doing to her. She can't possibly be happy.

"I haven't seen you or Grim in a while." Macavity states. "You didn't end up killing him did you?"

I blink towards him to conjure up a response. "No, I just missed him." I laugh.

"I can't believe you went after the Remembrance Gala. That's Charlie Wang's business!" Macavity laughs.

Charlie Wang is like the heir of an heir of an heir of the founder of all Mafia, mobs, gangs etc. He is actually a nice respectable guy, but he and my father just never got along therefore I'm screwed as well. So I really only targeted his Gala because that;s what my family does. What the "Great Italian Mafia" is known for.

"Well, Joseph Collins is a coglione idiota." I spit. Collins is a mod leader who pisses me off quite a bit, so I killed him. One of my men almost got his daughter, and another almost got Grim who is a gang leader on the other side of my Italy. He is an okay kid, just ballzy.

"Damn right!" Macavity exclaims. He is crazy.

He is very violent. I'm surprised he landed a girl. He likes to start trouble in America just to end it with a bloody war. I'm happy he has a person, Evelyn and him seem close. But I'd rather not get into any merde with him just because I know he'd show up out of nowhere and shoot up the damn place. So, I have befriended him and don't bring up conversations with him that could raise an argument. Of course I can take New York, but I'd rather not. Maybe a few years ago I would have, but not now. That's not the kind of person I am, or want to be.

I used to embrace this whole thing because that's what I had to do. But it's all gotten old, and really, it's disgusting.

"C'è conflitto in fondo alla tabella. Vorresti che questo andasse avanti?" One of my guys comes up to me and whispers into my ear, telling me there is conflict at the other end of the table and asks me if we need to move this along.

It took Matteo and I an entire week to write that damn seating chart. Dinner was long enough, little more than an hour.

"Sì." I replied.

A few minutes later I stand and announce to everyone that the dance will be in the next half hour and that until then they may order any more food or move into the other room we were all in before.

People begin to get up and move into the other room. Others stayed and flagged over waiters. Reagan walks beside me with her head down. Evelyn talks with her and her head lifts up. Her eyes catch mine for the briefest moment before looking back to Evelyn. I walk beside her, wanting to hold her. But I don't. I know she just wants to be with her new friend right now. We can talk about dinner another time.

"I'm going to go and check up on everyone, okay?" I say calmly to Reagan.

"Okay." She replies with a shy smile.

I kiss her eyebrows and squeeze her hip. "If you need me, come find me or someone you recognize." I tell her. "I love you." I say before walking away.

"Love you." She says back to me.

She still loves me.

I make my way around to my inner circle. "Anything?" I ask.