Written in Ink

Fifty-five | Reagan

I've been crying every night because the bed is cold and foreign. I miss Alonzo's arms around my waist and his stubble good night kisses. I just want to be back home, even though it's not really a home, Alonzo makes it home enough. I miss my parents too. It's got to be close to a year, I guess that means my birthday is coming up. Nineteen. I'm so young.

I want to see my mom again, I want a hug from my dad. For Christ's sake I miss Buchanon and Lorenzo.

I feel so alone here. Once a day I'm needed for a meeting where they trash talk my husband and plan to kill him. I don't allow myself to cry in front of them, so I just stare into the distance and tune them out.

Remy encourages me to go out and socialize with the other members of the group. But they are much too talkative and I'm just not a social person. So I just go back to my cell and sit there with my legs crossed and twiddle my thumbs because that is all I can do. No TV, no phone, no books, no nothing. It's like how it was the first time at the Napolitani house but so much worse. Here I'm not so scared about my parents' life but Alonzo's.

I've never had a boyfriend before. Never even really had a close friend apart from this one girl in school. I wonder what she thinks of me now. I wonder what everything thinks I'm doing. Did my parents move and just say that? Or that I just went off to school early?

God, I just want my life to go back to normal. How hard is it?! Why the hell did it have to be my family? Why did it have to be me?!

"Reagan?" Remy opens my door and I immediately turn away so she doesn't see my tear stained cheeks. "You have ignored all your meals." She makes her way to the bed and takes a seat, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Dear, have you been crying?" She asks in a worried tone.

"No, Remy. I haven't been crying because I was taken from my home that took me from my real home and all I want to do is go back to my home home." I sob angrily.

Her eyes turn up with concern. "Oh honey, that is the whole point of this! We can get you home! And we'll make them pay for what they did to you."

"No! Remy, you don't get it! I've fallen in love with Alonzo. He may be the reason I was taken from my home, but he wasn't the one that did it. He is part of the family I'd like to go home to." I exclaim, holding my head in my hands.

Remy shakes her head disapprovingly. "Reagan, he has brainwashed you." She says, "Nico had so many mistresses, Alonzo did too. He didn't love you. The only reason you're in his bed is so people believe you're both in love." She looks down and chuckles. "I guess it worked because he even fooled you."

Ouch. That stung. I know she is lying. Alonzo loves me. He has to be searching for me right now.

"Why do you think he leaves all the time? Do you really believe work is all day and most of the night? No, he just wants to get away from you." She chuckles. "You really didn't know?"

"You're lying—" My voice breaks.

"Think about it, Reagan."

I stand from the bed on the opposite side of her. "I am and I have. You're lying. Alonzo loves me and you're just afraid because Nico didn't love or give a flying fuck about you." I am beyond pissed.

To my suprise, Remy stands from the bed. "I'll see you in the morning." She says calmly and walks out of my room and closes the door.

God. I'm so done. I have to get out of here. Tonight.

Hours and a power nap later, it's past midnight and I've heard no movement— although it's not like I can hear anything anyway. If anything there are a few people that'd go by but they just pass on with heavy footsteps. I look out my window to see they are about to change guard.