Ayn's Healing

Chapter 6 - Ayn

It is surprisingly very easy for me to knock at Xander's office door at six-thirty because I have been awake for the last four hours.

It took me forever to drift into some sort of half-sleep, plagued by nightmares in which I either ran away from wolves, fought wolves, or got caught by wolves. At half-past two I decided that I had enough terror for one night and I turned on the light, got dressed, and walked downstairs to inspect the living room library. 

I briefly hesitated between a self-help book about computer operating systems and an advanced biostatistics manual. Because it was the middle of the night and nobody was around to judge me, I went for the statistics handbook which I assumed belonged to Kari. My soulmate, according to my glitchy tree.

I banged my head on the bookshelf because rationally, I was pretty insulted by the Gods' choice, to mate me to a werewolf. But then I thought about the comfortable tenderness that overtook me the evening before, as he sat next to me -  to the point where I winked at him. My tree swayed its branches along all my ribs, leaving me out of breath again. 

For an unknown reason, despite having looked into his wolf's turquoise eyes, I felt safe around the large Alpha male and I longed not only to be around him but much, much closer to him. In his arms, for example. Resting against that broad chest of his. Feeling his heartbeat.

I tapped my head again on the wooden frame, telling myself that this is what happens when one is isolated for ten years in an all-female school.

One is so crazed by hormones, that one lusts after the first handsome male that crosses their path, ignoring the fact that said male is, by all witches' standards, inadequate: different subspecies, too old, having an own life plan that involved leading a pack of werewolves, and highly unlikely to abide by the power ratio.

I walked back to my room with the heavy statistics book and I read through four chapters. The book was doing a poor job of putting me to sleep because it was excellently written and, for the first time, I was able to follow some of the concepts.

When I heard Kari's shower running, despair and frustration started to hang heavy in my throat. It was a quarter to five and probably useless to still try and get some shut-eye before the meeting with Xander. So I cleaned myself also, slipped into a shirt and a skirt, and went back down, in search of a heavily caffeinated beverage that could help me get through the morning.

The ground floor wasn't empty and dark anymore as it was two hours ago. Teresa and Mia were already dressed up and placing some pitchers of what looked to be fruit juice on the living room table.

"Good morning, Ayn. Did you sleep well? " the Luna greeted me with a shoulder rub and I breathed in deeply before lying to her with a slight nod. I couldn't form any words at that hour to explain how no, I did not sleep well and it was highly likely I won't sleep for a long time until either I will be exhausted enough to collapse, or my brain will get used to the idea that I need to live in a wolves' den for a year. Only three hundred and sixty-four days left.

"Coffee?" Mia asked, gesturing towards a flowery thermos. I nodded again and grabbed the closest cup next to me, getting ready to fill it with wonderful, mind-awakening dark goodness.

Without even having to turn, I knew he was standing behind me because my body felt soothingly warm as if the living room would have suddenly been filled with an afternoon summer sun.

If I would have leaned back, I would have ended up resting against his chest and feeling his heartbeat, as my solitude-infected brain demanded me some hours ago.

I didn't have a chance to move though, because he took another large step directly into my private space, pressing his left arm against my back while fumbling for a glass with his right, thus effectively immobilizing my body - and the regular flow of time - between the smooth table edge and his mass.