Sarah Paulson & Characters x Reader - Mental Health One Shots

Cuts - Wilhemina Venable

Wilhemina Venable finds out the reader is self-harming and helps them.

TW : Self-Harm, Mention of Depression

-- words count : 1050  --

Last night had been very hard. I relapsed. I didn't cut for years and in one night all my efforts were gone. I cut deep and multiples times. Both of my wrists and thighs were covered in fresh wounds when I woke up this morning.

I take the first outfit I find in my closet and I don't dare looking at my face in the mirror. As I am already late, I drive fast to work. Usually I have to take to my boss, Miss Venable, her morning coffee but today for some reason I just forget. As I park in front of the huge building, I run to my office quickly but when I walk past Miss Venable's office, I can see her staring on me. When I reach the elevator, I heard her stern voice screaming after me.

"Miss (y/l/n) !! Come back here NOW !"

I gulp but she is my boss, I don't really have a choice if I don't want to be fired. I walk slowly to her office but then I heard her cane on the floor, so I start walking faster.

I'm now standing in front of her office, her door is open and she is standing, looking at me with killer's eyes.

"Where do you think you're going Miss (y/l/n) ?!" She asks angrily.

"I- I'm late I'm so so-sorry Miss Venable. It won- won't happen again." I answer shakily.

"And where is my coffee ?!" She says, coming closer to me.

"I- It's just-" I pause and try to take a deep breathe but I feel like I can't hold the tears longer. "I'm sorry Miss Venable, I'm such an idiot." I said bursting into tears.

Miss Venable looks suddenly shocked. Her eyes open wide and she stops speaking for a minute, while my cries are filling the usual silence of her office.

I lift my hand to wipe my tears because I feel so humiliated, but I suddenly realize that I pull up my sleeve to wipe my tears, and my fresh scars are showing. As Miss Venable is pretty close to me, she obviously sees my cuts, and her expression immediately changes from an angry, shocked face to a concerned and sad look. She closes her eyes for a second, probably to think of what to do and then she open her eyes and her lips at the time.

"Take a sit." She only says, while sitting on one of the two chair in front of her desk, not behind. She pats the chair next to her, and I sit.

"What is that, on your arm?" She asks, quietly but sternly at the same time.

At this point I stop crying and look down. "It's nothing." I simply respond.

"It doesn't seem like nothing (y/n)."

When I hear her pronounce my first name, I look at her. Her eyes seem worried and she is looking deep inside my soul through my eyes, but it makes me feel comfortable, strangely.

"I'm waiting for an answer." She says sternly.

"There is nothing to say. I'll pack my things and leave. I'm sorry." I say as I try to stand up, but Miss Venable put her hands on my shoulders and makes me sit again.

"You're not going out of this office without talking to me." She says and I start to feel trap, but she resumed. "Now, show me your arms."

"What ?" I ask a bit shocked of her demand.

"If it's nothing then show me your arms !" She asks again, I mean not asks, demands.

As I'm shocked and motionless, she reaches for my left arm and lifts it. She slowly pulls up my sleeve and I close my eyes, but I can hear her gasping.

"Oh (y/n), what did you do..."

I remain silence as Miss Venable puts my arm back on my lap and take the other. She does the same process and discovers the same cuts, all over my arm.

"I'm so sorry..." I whisper.

"No, I'M, sorry." She reply. "I should have notice you were feeling this way."

"It's not your fault Miss Venable."

She cuts me. "Call me Whilemina." She let go my other arm and I quickly pull down my sleeves.

"Is there any others on your body ?" She asks.

I look down and sigh. "Yes..."

"Oh honey... We need to clean them, so you don't get an infection. Come with me."

She helps me standing because my legs feel like jelly and she takes my hand. Then she pulls me in an other room where there is a little bathroom.

"Sit here." She says as she motions the edge of the toilet. I do as she tells me while she takes a first aid kit. She crouches in front of me in pain, due to her back. Without saying anything, she lifts my arm and pulls my sleeve. I can see the sadness in her eyes as she clean my cuts and bandages them. She does the same process for my other arm and then asks me where are the other wounds.

"On- on my thighs." I sigh quietly.

"I'm sorry honey, if you don't feel comfortable with me, I can call a doctor to take care of your other cuts."

"No ! No please, I don't want anyone else to know about it and... And you're so gentle and soft, I..."

"It's okay, show me then."

I pulls down my pants and Wilhemina clean and bandages the rest of my cuts.

"All good sweetheart. Now talk to me. Why did you that ?" She asks.

"I- I don't know. I think it helps me feeling better, or feeling something. I don't feel anything but pain and when the pain is too strong inside, I cut. It hurt less when the pain is outside, I mean, on my body and not in it."

Wilhemina smiles softly. "Thank you for talking to me (y/n). Now I know you don't want to talk to someone else about it, but I really think we should call a therapist. It's not a healthy way to make pain go away." She stroke my leg softly. "Do you want me to make the call ?"

"Yes, thank you..." I sigh.

"I promise you (y/n), I'll be here the whole time until you feel better but please, if you feel the urge to hurt yourself, call me."

I smile lightly at her and she pulls me in a hug.