~hetalia diaries~ (one shots)

england 3

Big fuck-off trigger warning for *rape*

spains pov:

"well, we might as well keep looking at  arthur, he seems to be a guy with alot of secrets." romano said, picking the book up and flipping through it. 

"yeah, nobody is that perfect." i agreed. as romano skipped through the pages, arthurs handwriting had gotten progressively worse. he turned another page. it looked like it had writing on it but it was all scribbled over. he kept flipping through and it seemed that all the pages from there on was completely scribbled over.  "what the fuck? what could have been so bad that he blacked out everything?" i asked, pointing at a page. 

"i could translate it, if you want." romano stated.

"really?!" 

"yeah, im quite good at deciphering things like this." 

"oh roma! youre a life saver!" i cried and hugged him. 

"yeah, yeah. now get of me and let me read it, you damn tomato bastard!" he shouted batting me off. he then cleared his throat and began to read it aloud.

"i cant deal with this anymore. i am beyond breaking point. if one more thing happens im going to kill myself or the nearest person. ive tried talking to my friends about it, but they just dont believe me! their always saying things like 'you love him really' and 'quit being such a tsundere' and 'hes so nice, he wouldnt do anything like that. your just being dramatic' all of that is fucking bullshit. these past years have been a complete downward spiral. i cant do this anymore. why the fuck did he choose me!? why cant he just leave me alone?! why cant-" romano paused "thats all i can read."

he took a sip from his wine. "antonio," he said in an emotionless voice. "you know arthur better than me. who was the man he was talking about?" 

"francis im guessing." i shrugged. romano's face went as white as a sheep. he then began frantically looking through the book. he then fell upon another page and began to read it out again.

"i am so, so scared. ive never felt more violated in my life. i cant begin to imagine what was going through his head. the day had been fairly ok before now, nothing too bad has happend to me today. i was is the living room with him. i was reading a book and he was watching someting on tv. he then began talking to me about families and how he had always wanted to have kids, because thats a very normal thing to just randomly bring up. he then started asking what i thought of it, so i told him that 'i dont really care, children are cute but they can be right pains. however, i wouldnt mind it.' big mistake on my part. he then started lecturing me and giving me a biology lesson. saying some crazy shit about 'regardless of gender nations can reproduce' and that i have 'the perfect body for such things'. as he spoke, i began to feel sick. he started sliding some disgusting comments that make me want to throw up just to think about again, i think he said them to incorage me to listen to him. i had enough of the converstion so i just flat out told him to stop. he then gave me his look, i knew i just dug myself a deeper grave. he then stood up and continued lecturing, this time trying to sweet talk me into doing it. he then began to close the windows and pull the curtains. i didnt know what was happening. he then left for a bit and soon returned with some handcuffs and a gag... long story short, he raped me. he cuffed me to the radiator, gagged me and fucked me more than four times. i tried to scream, but no sound came out. i am now in the bathroom. ive been in here for nearly an hour. francis is out with his stupid friends again. ive been trying to get my mind off whats just happend. ive texted lukas and asked him about that whole 'nations can bare children' thing. he said its an acual thing. if god is real, nothing should happen. all i can do now is pray to whatever god is listening." romano said quickly. 

romano flipped to the next page. he looked panicked and disgusted, i was too. 

"there is no god. god is dead. there is no heaven. it all just goes black. no matter how much we pray, god will never save us." romano paused. "oh no..."

"oh no." i repeated.  

"five tests ive taken. all are positive. i was too stunned to speak. this really cant be happening to me. not with him. i really dont want to tell him, but i think its his right. i dont want him to know what he did worked. it might encourage him to do it again. i dont feel like i can say anything. im not sure why. im shaking so much. its not like i have to make a quick decision whether i should tell him, he is out with those scrums he calls friends. i think i really should talk to someone, i dont think anyone would understand." romano finished. 

he flipped to the next page. "roma, i think you should stop now." i said.

"i think we've gone to far in to stop now." 

"i  told him. after much debate i told him. i literally just walked up to him, showed him one of the tests and said to him 'there, are you fucking happy?' he then stood up and lifted me up, hugged and kissed me. he seemed very pleased with himself. he kept spinning me around and telling me how much he loved me. his words made me feel sick. however, it diddnt stop there. he started up again with those sickly comments, i cant bear to write it. not once did he stop to wonder if i was ok with this. but hey, thats francis for you."

He flipped through some more. "This one is really scribbled out!" He said.

"Come on, roma. Not that one!" I said defensively. But he started anyway.

"I think the world is finally turning in my favour. I mean not really, but still. Francis is still Francis and the boys are driving me insane. But you know what, I think I can deal with it. There is no way in hell I'm forgetting what's happened to me, but that's not going to stop me from living a tolerable future. Francis has been bringing his friends around the house more often, much to my annoyance. However, I dont seem to mind it as much now-"

"Nope! We're done with him!" I cut him of, making a grap for the book.

"Nah, we've gone to deep to stop now!" He then continued, despite my attempts to sabotage.

"I don't seem to mind it as much nowadays, thats probably because someone actually wants to talk to me. Everytime they're over, antonio always seems to make an excuse to come and talk to me. I really appreciate it. He is so kind and understanding towards me, even more so then my friends and family. In fact, he is the only person who has made an effort to check up on me since the boys were born. He definitely doesn't like me the way I like him, I'm sure he's just doing it to be polite. But even so, I am allowed to hang on to any bit of hope I can find." He finished, with more of a relaxed tone.

"You seem to be a real life saver, toni." He smiled, pouring himself another glass of wine.

"I guess you can say that." I smiled awkwardly.

He began flipping through the book again, listing off the subjects vaguely. "Anonio. Antonio. Im so thankful for antonio. Antonio. Toni. I think I love Antonio. Antonio. Antonio." He then Smirked and looked at me. "I think arthur might have a little puppy crush on you~ we could use that."

"This was centuries ago, I doubt he feels the same. Besides, everyone fucked around with arthur back then. He ain't too bad either-" I stopped, realising what I just told him.

"No fucking way." He said stunned.

"Roma, I didn't mean it-"

"You like arthur, dont you?" He Smirked.

Quickly, I picked up the book and threw it behind the sofa. "HOW ABOUT WE LOOK AT SOMEONE ELSE?" I blurted.