Eternal ~ Anakin Skywalker ~

15: Forbidden Fear

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After yesterday's incident that I dubbed Fly Master Yoda fly, I made myself scarce by eating a bland meal. I sighed to myself. They suddenly acted up whenever I thought I had control over my powers. Okay, I got distracted, and for me, that was never good. That was why I meditated — that and I enjoyed it.

I started playing with Anakin's necklace in a secluded corner of the cafeteria. I relished the feeling of the smooth wood against my fingers, and the engraved marks were fun to pick at. However, the more I fiddled, the more something felt wrong.

"I wish I were with you," I whispered to the pendant before putting it back beneath my robes. If the Jedi found out about me keeping such a gift, the would take it away. But even when I placed the necklace out of sight, forgetting about Anakin for the moment, the nervous feeling continued to pester me — my gut twisted into knots.

I dumbed my food tray and headed to the meditation spire. I needed to find the wise frog; maybe he would help decipher this odd sense of fear before the youngling's playtime.

I entered the meditation room; soft brown cushion seats aligned the room, smelling of fresh but light lemon to keep us focused.
The windows surrounded us, overlooking the vast sky of skyscrapers and speeders. But today — it was cloudy — and rain loomed on the horizon.

If that's not an ominous omen, then I don't know what is.

I was half tempted to run away but needed to make amends for my little hiccup yesterday. One or two Jedi sat crisscrossed in their little world. But I ignored them and reached Master Yoda, who was zoned out.

"Master Yoda, I'm sorry to disturb you, but can I meditate with you?"
I asked, anxiously playing with my thick braid at the one side of my head.

"Hmmm, nervous you are," Yoda said calmly. "Forgiven you, I have, nervous you should not be."

I blew my breath out slowly, releasing the tension from my body. "I know. I feel terrible about it." I admitted, not looking at the wise frog but at the marble ground.

"Jedi we are, mistakes we make, grudges we do not hold on to," Yoda explained. "Let go, we must, or hatred will consume. Hate a darkside emotion, mindful you must be."

I gave Yoda a sincere smile. "I understand. I'm working on that.
Much to learn, I do."

Yoda chuckled in response. He then cocked his head to the seat beside him. I bowed and made myself comfortable, allowing the sensation of the Force to enter my soul. But more importantly, I needed to find Ani.

I felt my skin tingle as goosebumps appeared like ice sliding across my skin. Then anger, so much anguish. I could almost see his blue eyes, full of a dark fire — consumed by hate for those creatures. I understood the intensity and desire to slaughter those beasts, but it was not the Jedi way to give in.

"No, Anakin, stop," I shouted at him, but rage blinded him; such wrath made it so he couldn't sense me. There was another voice off in the distance in this dreaded void. It was a smooth voice, baritone...

Qui-Gon!

I focused past Anakin, but I heard Master Jinn yelling no — and still, Ani didn't listen.

Ani, this isn't you!

Stop, please!

I continued to scream, but... nothing, just suffering, and I couldn't bear it, so I opened my eyes, putting my hands over my face to hide how distraught I was. But it didn't hide my shaking frame. I pinched my skin to return to reality. I gaped at Yoda, who shared a look of concern with Master Windu, who approached us cautiously.