Eternal ~ Anakin Skywalker ~

24: Fight or Flight

Sorry for the long wait; I've been in a slump. New Star Wars news hasn't helped, either. I mean, really, another Rey movie? Anyways, The chapter is longer than average to make up for the time lost. Thank you for reading, and enjoy the story.

Oh, and don't forget to vote!💜 Luv ya!

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Today I was a little late to the temple, but guess what? It was still standing on its pedestal. It wasn't like I had a designated mission anyways, but I did have to inquire why my request hadn't come through yet. Then again, the Council had a natural ability to sit on their asses and debate amongst themselves till they were blue in the face.

I preferred getting things done. The Galaxy wouldn't wait for us to decide what was best or worse for them, nor should the Jedi choose that in the first place.
We should help no matter what — but as always — it was never that simple, and it had a lot to do with the politics of this war.

I strolled into the Council chambers, and only my favorite green goblin stood watching the Coruscant sky. I bowed, clearing my throat to get his attention. His ears perked up, and he wobbled over to me with a curious expression.

"What help can I be, knight Leta."

I placed my hands behind my back, keeping myself calm.
"I was wondering about my request for a Padawan learner, Master. To say I'm anxious would be putting it mildly."

"Patience, Leta. Immediate answers blind you, they will." his face remained forbearing, and I couldn't tell what the wise guy meant. I waited over a month for this request. By my standard, I had been a model of patience.

My gut twisted; no, something else was up. I peered at him quizzically. "Master, did I do something wrong?

Yoda didn't look me in, which didn't put my mind at ease. "Your request for a Padawan denied by the Council it was."

I blinked momentarily, my breath picking up, and my heart dropped in disappointment; I was certain it hit my toes. I couldn't believe they denied this. Why was I finding out about it now and not sooner? Was it because of me, or was a youngling not old enough to be a pupil of mine?

"Master Yoda, I... I'm sorry. Could you explain further as to why?" I asked, focusing solely on the grandmaster who divulged this bad news. A part of me didn't want to know, fearing I wouldn't want to know, but that also meant I needed to listen.

"Irresponsible, you are. Much to learn you do before teaching another," Yoda explained.

I scoffed." If that was the case, then why did everyone agree to make me a knight in the first place?"

"Ready you were, this you are not," Yoda tapped his cane. "Meditate on this, you must."
The wise goblin turned his back to me, signaling the end of the conversation. I held back the hot tears from pouring down my eyes.

I stormed to my quarters, plopping on the bed and cradling myself as the floodgates opened. Did the Council think I was a bad Jedi? Had I failed? Is this a precursor to being a horrible mom? These questions flooded my mind as much as my tears on the pillow.

At times like this, I understood why Ani was frustrated with them. I grabbed the necklace tightly, allowing my pain to be released through my tears. Many Jedi believed crying was for the weak, but I thought it was cathartic; instead of bottling up my emotions — I let them go — to freely flow away so I could focus on the moment and not let it pass me by.

So I cried till my eyes were dry, and my heart slowed gently. When I felt calm, I flipped myself up to meditate as Yoda instructed. What was the root of my problem? What could the Council see that I couldn't?