pink nights / sally face

going to the park

the day after hanging out with the group was interesting. i woke up still in my dress and makeup but i was in my dorm bed. i somehow made it back to dorm. and by the 7 dollars transferred to larry in my cashapp history, i assumed he got me an uber. ash wasn't here so i also assumed she stayed over with them. i wasn't on my ass last but i was high, drunk, and very tired and so after the smoke, everything was just a little fuzzy.

i took my makeup off and stocked my shower caddy. i was still hesitant about a community bathroom but i was grimy so it sounded appealing right now.

my flip flops made that stupid flopping noise as i walked down the hall. luckily, there wasn't anyone showering when i went in. i guess 12 pm on a tuesday isn't a popular shower time.

i had no real plans today, so i threw on some comfy sweats and relaxed with my hair up in a towel.

i laid in bed and thought about the night before. about how it felt like it didn't actually happen. thinking about larry and sal was weird. i started to wonder if they even existed. i imagined myself, watching from third person, talking with them. it didn't seem possible. i can't remember the last time i had hung out with anyone. socializing was just so foreign to me now, thinking about how i looked while talking with them freaked me out. them talking to me was a confirmation that other people actually could see me, contrary to what i believed on a day to day basis.

i hoped they were real. i hoped last night happened. they were so nice. unlike anyone i had ever met back home. both larry and sal were so real and so gentle. i loved ash for being who she was. extending a portion of her life to me, she didn't even know how much it meant. they were all wonderful people and i was excited to see them again.

i took the towel off and shook my hair. i had only been up for maybe two hours but i was ready for the day to wind down. i was ready for ash to come back.

as if on que, i heard a knock at my door.

i opened it to see ash still in her pink hoodie. "hi," i widened the door more and gestured for her to come in.

"hey..." she trudged in and sat at my desk. "are you still feeling last night?"

"i'm a little tired but nothing painful, are you?"

"painful. do you have any makeup wipes?"

i grabbed the wipes from my shower caddy and handed them to ash.

"thanks," she took one and began rubbing her makeup off like it was an emergency. "so, you talked to sal last night, huh?"

"what do you mean 'talked'? i talked to everyone." i was confused as to what she meant. i didn't remember much but i did remember she knocked out first.

"larry told me you two were out on the balcony alone." she lowered the wipe and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"ash!" i smiled at her, "larry went inside to check on you! he left us and we were waiting for him to come back."

"that's not how he told it!" she continued to wipe. "he said he was watching you two talk and then you held hands!"

"ash, i'm gonna be very honest with you. i was so high."

"and so was larry!"

"i was miles higher than larry. i was manually breathing! i mean, i'm not saying he's lying, it very well could've happened. but my defense is that i actually don't remember much after smoking. sal and i did talk, but i just told him that i was happy to meet you all and i hoped that i wasn't intruding. it was casual, i mean, i did just meet the guy." everything was complete truth. there was no, 'oh no! i have to hide my secret crush!' like larry's story was making it sound. i liked sal but in a, wow i can't wait to get to know him, way. in a, i'm excited to have a new friend, way.