real talk
what's up?
everything okay?
how many dogs do you think it would take to overthrow the government?
like at least 4
wait no let's talk about this seriously
duh
i said real talk
get to talkin bitch 🎳
theres that fucking emoji again
but anyway, it would take enough that they couldn't just call animal control over it. they'd have to swarm the white house or the capital, it would take hundreds of organized dogs. i'd say at least 400 dogs. and smart ones too, like you couldn't just leave the pugs and chihuahuas to roam free; it'd be the german shepherds and golden retrievers and whatever the fuck smart breeds arw. plus they're dogs so it may take even less. like people are gonna be like "awe look at thia little fuck of a furball isn't it so adorable" and then it's gonna bark and all its buddies are gonna come along and bam the government is overthrown. so 350-400 dogs is my estimate.
thank you for taking that seriously
but you made so many BAD points
FREE MY BROS THE PUGS!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE, PUT 400 PUGS TO THE TASK AND THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT
they won't
they're pugs
there's literally no chance
one day im going to adopt 400 pugs and overthrow the government just to prove you wrong
and then who will be laughing?
me because you're in jail for trying to overthrow the government with 400 fucking pugs
no you'd bail me out bc you're rich
probably
WAIT REALLY????
also i've been working on my southern accent
you're gonna be so proud of me when you hear it
why would i be proud of you for learning a good southern accent
because it's good idk
get with the times freddy
🏝
okay
i just pictured you at like 30
sending your kid off to middle school with a terrible southern accent
yeah that'll be me
"okay bye mckinsleigh mama bear loves you 💗🥰🤗❤😍 "
NO
you are not naming your child mckinsleigh if i have anything to do with it
oh my god
MCKINSLEIGH
my sweet little baby bear mckinsleigh 💗💗💗
die
NO
OH MY GOD IM GONNA HAVE THE BEST KIDS THEY'RE GONNA BE SO HOT
freddy im asking you nicely to be the father of my children so they can reach peak attractiveness
okay
REALLY?
no
liar
you've already agreed
I KEEP GETTING FAZZYBEAR TIKTOKS AND I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF YOU BITCH
THEY KNOW THAT I KNOW A FREDDY
once again i remind you
my name is not freddy
it's okay you'll leave denial soon
it only lasts a few months
okay thanks
corpse
i have a serious question
what's up
do you wanna go out on a date with me
like could totally be platonic if you want it be like that but i really want to fake propose to somebody in a public like fancy restaurant with a ring pop to see how people react and you would be a perfect victim for this experiment
are you asking me on a date over text rn
are you taking it like that bc
all i said is that i wanted to fake propose to someone in a fancy restaurant 🤨🤨
"do you wanna go out on a date with me"
yeah tbf
i still want to do that but it was definitely a cover up
ive been caught 🎳
whenever you feel awkward you use that emoji now
but yeah sure
do i need to like dress up for it
absolutely
suit and tie if you can
im wearing my prom dress from like 4 years ago
ive gotta get some extra use out of it somehow
okay cool
you're paying
whatever mr rich mcrichson
i'll pay this time
and for the huge ROCK im bouta put on that finger my dude
please don't call me that
i almost prefer freddy
I KNEW YOU LIKED IT
YOU ARE READING
22 - corpse husband ✓
FanfictionIN WHICH he accidentally texts the wrong number.... "i'm 22, like that taylor swift song." "gross." - started: october 25th, 2021 finished: march 19th, 2022 as a warning, the formatting is messed up in some places bc of the wattpad mobile interface...
