and over again [SEQUEL to over and over] [[Jacob Black x OC]] ..twilight..

1

I was thankful that Forks was so mild in August compared to Phoenix. I couldn't stand the awful dry heat. it was bearable enough for Jake and I to go on, what I lovingly called, "dog walks". he didn't think it was funny but came to tolerate it. 

we'd spend hours hiking through the forest, reaching the tops of cliffs and waterfalls and things like that. he didn't know I had a secret agenda. it wasn't weight-focused like many of my previous goals were- that didn't matter to me much anymore. I was able to maintain a low weight without starving or purging anymore. 

I wanted to return to the place that I almost died. I wanted to find some evidence that Victoria was ever here with me. I didn't know if I'd find anything, but I still had this obsessive compulsion to find the spot again. 

I didn't tell Jacob this, of course. I didn't tell him half of what happened that day and he usually didn't ask. by now, the scar on my neck was healed, but it would have to take decades for it to fade. it was the only evidence I had to corroborate my memory. 

I was typically a lazy person that punished my body with exercise, but since my brush with death, I've come to realize how fun it is to get lost in the woods and look around at the stuff we forget about when we're inside for too long. long trails of water, trees a hundred times bigger than myself, little snakes and butterflies and tons of different species of birds were all out here, existing, forgetting us until we came around again. 

Jacob has a fantastic sense of direction, so we never get lost for long. the only time we did get lost was when I insisted that I knew how to get back and I was completely wrong. he humored me for the first thirty minutes or so, but eventually I had to give up and let him lead the way. 

today, though, we didn't get lost. 

we found it.

following the sound of a waterfall in the distance, I walked beside Jake, who walked with determination. he had said, "this is a big one," with a childish grin. sometimes it would get really dark by the time I could finally pull him out of the water. he loved to swim if whatever body of water we found was deep enough. I've been hesitant ever since I'd seen a water snake swim a little too close. it was really freaky. snakes shouldn't be able to fucking swim.

as we got closer, and the waterfall came into view, I sensed that it was familiar. I wasn't sure yet that it was the right one until we were maybe 100 feet away. 

it was gorgeous and tall, at least three stories high and fifty feet across. the water gushed into a large pool of water that ran down the stream that we followed all the way. Jake had his shirt off and jumped into the water as I came to the conclusion; this is where I almost died. 

my eyes grazed the forest floor around me, searching for something, only finding dirt, fallen twigs, leaves and rocks. 

"jump in," Jake yelled over to me, swimming in place. "it feels amazing."

"in a minute," I said, maybe a little too quietly for a person without a freakish sense of hearing. 

when I turned around the side of the hill that made up the waterfall, I saw remnants of a large fire. there were pieces of burnt logs and ashes in a circle of blackened earth. I kicked the wood around to expose shards of crushed white bone. the largest identifiable piece was a chunk of skull cracked at the eye socket. I gasped and stumbled backwards as the earth wobbled uneasily beneath my feet. I was breathing fast and I tripped and fell on my back.

"ada? where'd you go?" Jake called from the water. 

tears were pouring down my face as I scrambled to my feet. I could hardly breathe. I saw her skull. the white stuff that's wrapped around our brains, under all our fleshy stuff. the thing that never comes out from under our skin. it's supposed to be in there, but its not, because they ripped her apart and burned her.