Identity [Gerard Way] *Completed*

Chapter Nineteen

My face is pressed nervously to the cold glass of the living room window. I'm staring out at the empty street in front of me, expecting to see a police car come winding around the corner any minute. But there's nothing right now. Nothing. Not even a person walking down the street. Just a grey sky threatening to pour rain. And there's silence. It's not the good type of silence, though. It's the type that makes you scared.

Why hasn't anyone discovered us yet? And more importantly, when will they? The glass of the window fogs as I let out a wavered sigh. We can't leave. Gerard doesn't want to. It's as simple as that. I can't really do anything that will make him stall less. I hate how it feels like we're sitting around waiting for them to come for us, but... there's nothing I can really do. Gerard hasn't been out of his room the whole day.

It's been almost three hours since the... thing happened. I would have expected him to come out sooner, but, he hasn't. I think he's too shy to come out. I don't blame him. My heart's still fluttering after what happened. I've been trying not to think about it, but it's impossible. It's all I can think about. If I try to think of something else, I accidentally remind myself I'm trying to forget. And then I end up hating myself for it.

My heart jumps when a car turns the corner and starts coming down the street. My mind races, thinking the worst possible things. But it's just a person's car. It's not an IT. I'm paranoid.

I hit my forehead against the glass. Gosh. I wish I could calm down. About everything. About the police, and about Gerard. But I can't.

I'm expecting the sound of Gerard's door opening every second. I want him to come out, but at the same time, I really don't. I don't want to make eye contact. No way. Not until I think clearly about what happened. I haven't been thinking clearly. It's just been a mess of thoughts.

What will I say to him? What will he say to me? Where do we go from here? I groan and slide down the wall. Feelings are frustrating things. Feelings shouldn't exist like this- I can hear my heart pounding in my chest and I can't shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.

Maybe if I find something to do.

I sigh and sit down on the couch. I aimlessly flick through the channels. I did this an hour ago. And if things keep going on like this, I'll be here again in the next hour. And the next. Just counting down the hours until we're arrested. Like sitting targets.

I bring my hands to my face. It's not my fault I feel like this. The only way I've ever known was to get away. To run. Sitting here is making me feel worse.

A siren goes off very faintly, somewhere far away.

My mind races. We have to go. We have to. I'll do anything to make sure Gerard comes with me. Anything. As long as we get out. I can't take this anymore.

I get up abruptly and rush to Gerard's door, mind set with determination. He has to understand what's going on. It doesn't matter how much he doesn't want to leave. Not anymore. The sirens... the sirens are coming back.

I bring my hand up firmly to knock on the door, but hesitate for a second. I'm not sure why. I almost feel bad for doing this... but what other choice do we have? Honestly. If I would stop thinking about things so much, maybe I'd get somewhere in life. I shake away my thoughts and exhale deeply, knocking on Gerard's door three times. My hand's shaking a little. The butterflies in my stomach are intense.

There's silence for a moment, and then the floor creaks. I hold my breath as the door swings open, Gerard's shy face greeting me. He waves nervously.