Faking it || Lando Norris LN

14

Olivia Reyes

I was already inside my room not even a second after I slammed Lando's door shut.

My entire body was at war. My skin was burning hot with rage, my fists were icy and my teeth chattered against each other over my clenched jaw. I wanted to tear the sofa in half and curl myself into a ball on it at the same time. Desperate. I wanted desperately to yell at my body to pick a feeling to focus on. Sorrow, fury, and anxiousness coursed through my nerves fighting against each other.

You know what my favorite trick of yours is?

The silent tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face. I winced a little at the effort I was putting to choke back my sobs. Even without anyone else in the room, I didn't want to make a sound, as if being silent lessened the fact that I was crying over something he'd said. I wanted to cringe myself into a hole. Crying over Lando's words had gone from surprising to blatantly ridiculous.

The one where you tricked yourself into thinking winning a race could make your family forgive you.

I wanted to punch myself. I knew I was stronger than this, so much stronger. And yet, it only took a couple of words from him to make me feel like the most fragile thing in the world. It seemed like there was no stopping myself from falling apart every time he opened his mouth and I hated it. I hated how easily he'd gotten an x-ray of where to twist the knife, which spots hurt and which topics wounded me.

They'll never get that time back.

We'd shared a laugh and suddenly I'd already marveled at the thought of the season not feeling like needles against my skin. Looking back, it all felt so foolish. Looking at myself in the mirror made it a million times worse.

A single look in the mirror had made my eyes snap shut with pain. The makeup ran down my face like a dark and violent watercolor, a witness of the sour hurricane the last 10 minutes had been, and my eyes looked a thousand years older. The short white dress didn't feel like the silk it used to. It felt like the sheet the police put over the victims of a crime scene. Cold. Hopeless.

No strategy could trick them into forgiving you.

I stepped back until my back met the wall behind me and slid down until I sat on the floor, looking at the girl that was supposed to go out and celebrate her best friend's win. The girl that was supposed to be fighting for podiums, making wondrous headlines, and smiling genuinely during interviews.

Olivia Reyes: My stomach aches pretty badly. I think I'll stay tonight and sleep early for tomorrow's flight.

Charles Leclerc: :(

Charles Leclerc: Did something happen? Please don't lie to me, is your stomach really hurting?

Olivia: It hurts, I promise.

It wasn't an actual lie. My stomach hadn't stopped turning. Not after the race, not after walking into Lando's room, and definitely not after leaving it.

Charles: Are you suuuuuure?

Olivia: I'll order tea from room service and go to sleep. I swearrrr there's nothing going on.

Olivia: Take a shot for me!!! I really wish I could be there. I promise I'll take one with you when we celebrate your next podium.

Charles: Next weekend we'll be celebrating both of us on the podium okay?

Charles: I'll get 1st place but you can get 2nd :-)

A small laugh left my lips as I wiped the tears from my cheeks, feeling my breath steadying.