A Change In Perspective

Transition Completed?

Harry!You're back! But are you really? Pansy went absolutely spare when she got Draco's letter. Started muttering about him acting like a damn Gryffindor anddisappeared to respond to him. But Blaise got it out of her that you had aged again. Not quite back to sixteen, but getting there. Are you hurting? I'm so sorry Iwasn't there for you, but Dumbledore is being appallingly rigid when it comes to you. Course, I could ask for permission to go visit you, but that would alert himto the fact that you're not ten anymore. And I know Professor Snape wants to keep you away from Hogwarts until you're not quite so vulnerable. Oh... Blaisehas just told me that this weekend is a Hogsmead weekend! Blaise, Greg, Vince, Pansy, and I will all sneak out on the Knight Bus and come visit youtomorrow. Bril!I can just see you there, in your room, muttering about how this is just one more abnormal thing that has happened to you. Stop that right now! No one couldpredict this would happen, and, believe it or not, you have been truly happy with us. Well, there was that one unfortunate incident in the Hospital Wing, but itsbest not to dwell on that. Read your journal, it explains everything. Has anyone talked to you about... recent events? Sirius? Harry, I know this is all just a bitalarming for you, but promise me you won't ask any unnecessary questions until you talk to me. Oh! And avoid the newspaper, too. Rita's been in rare formlately. The bug eyed bitch. I will be there soon, Harry, I promise.Love always,MioneHDHDHDHarry held the crumpled parchment of Hermione's letter in his fist as he paced back and forth in his bedroom. He felt... weird. Twitchy. Uncomfortable in hisown skin. This whole situation had taken on a surrealistic quality that he wasn't quite able to break away from. He had woken up yesterday morning high onendorphins born of relief that he wouldn't be expelled for protecting himself from Dementors. Today... today he is being kissed by Draco Malfoy, eatingbreakfast with Snape, sleeping at Malfoy Manor, talking to a snake that apparently belonged to him, while his best friend told him not to ask questions andplanned to escape from school. And where was Ron? Since when was Hermione on a first name basis with the Slytherins, or even close enough to be aroundwhen Pansy received communication from Draco? Malfoy. Whatever.He glared at the journal lying on the middle of his bed. Ok, so it was supposed to help him understand what he had gone through. He understood the concept.But the reality was different. He felt betrayed. Cheated, almost. And angry. Yep, definitely angry. So he hadn't had the best of childhoods, who could say theyhad? That didn't mean that everyone had a right to know about his past. But, oh no, younger Harry obviously felt no qualms about talking to his snakes or theMalfoy's about personal issues he had. He groaned, clutching his head in his hands. For gods sakes; he had talked to Snape about his mother! What was thematter with him?And now Snape was collecting samples of his blood, and talking to him like he was an actual person instead of the devil incarnate. Even his body wasbetraying him! He felt safe, comfortable even, around Snape, and had not hesitated when the man asked for a vial of blood. When Narcissa dropped by duringbreakfast, he hadn't thought twice about her carding her fingers through his hair and lightly rubbing his back. And Draco? Well, he hadn't seen the blond yettoday, but considering he'd fainted the last time they were in the same room... yes, his reactions had definitely changed. How was he supposed to function inthis new setting when he didn't have the slightest feeling of control over his environment? He knew the rules... the Dursley's sucked, Hogwarts and theBurrow were his real homes, his enemies were his enemies, and Ron and Hermione were his best friends. But... but now that the rules were changed, whatwas he supposed to do?HDHDHD"You did what?"Draco winced at the censure, real or imagined, in Pansy's tone. "You heard me."Silence. "So, Har Bear returns to being a teenager, hexes the shit out of you, flees for his life, is returned under the dubious protection of his teacher to afamily that has openly disdained him for years, and you think the proper welcome is to declare undying love for him?"He paced, trying to ignore the creepy way her green face glared at him through the Floo. "It wasn't undying love.""Draco Malfoy!""Well it wasn't!" He jerked his hand through his hair, a frustrated gesture so synonymous to Harry that Pansy had to fight with her control to keep the smile offher face. "I just. We were talking, and he's different! There's something bolder in the way he looks at people, something compelling. And then he was tellingme to stop hedging, and he was pushing me away after I kissed him, and then he was lying on the floor and I ran to my room."Pansy snickered. "He passed out and you just left him on the floor?""Well what was I supposed to do?"She sighed. "Draco, I've been your friend since we were babies. I've watched you preen and posture...""I do not...""Shut up. You do. You're a right snarky bastard with self esteem issues." She smiled into his glaring face. "But I love you like the brother I never wanted.Nobody knows better than I do that once your emotions are involved you turn into a complete Gryffindor. And that needs to stop for now." The stern lookaccompanying that statement was only slightly diminished by the flickering flames. "Hermione and I have speculated that Harry has had a crush on you sincehe was a kid. You were just too much of a prick and scared him off."Browse Just In Community Forum Betas Story SearchBooks  Harry Potter+ -    "Thanks." He slumped into a chair, crossed his arms over his chest, and scowled."Any time, darling. But Harry doesn't really remember what's going on. Last time he changed ages he was surrounded by all of us in the Hospital Wing and hestill didn't know what was going on. But this time he doesn't have Fawkes to murmur platitudes in his ear. He's trying to wing it and it's going to take a bit oftime for him to connect his dreams with his reality.""So, what?" he asked unhappily. "I ignore him completely?"Pansy smiled kindly. "That's the crux of the problem Draco. You've never been able to ignore each other." She took a deep breath, hating to be the one to saythis. "You need to stop and think about what you're doing.""I am! I do!""But you don't; not when you're upset. If you did, you wouldn't have landed half the detentions you have had over the years, and Harry wouldn't have thoughtyou were the greatest thing since Ricin." Draco sulked but remained quiet. "You need to remember that you are a Slytherin. You're loyal. Crafty. Cunning.Ambitious. You know how to size up a room of three hundred people and determine which are threats, allies, potential victims, or utterly expendable. You donot go running out of a room like a Hufflepuff because you forgot yourself and handed someone the tools to lord their power over you."Draco sat quietly, absorbing this. Pansy shifted slightly, glanced over her shoulder briefly, but remained quiet and let him think it out. He sighed finally,nodding. "You're right.""Of course I am. I'm always right. It's about time you learned to appreciate that fact."He raked his hand through his hair again. "So what do I do?"Pansy sighed at the defeated look in his eyes, but hardened her spine and gave him a teasing smile. "First, you take a sleeping draught and rest. You looklike hell. Then take a long shower and groom yourself accordingly. Harry may now have the knowledge that you love him, but you need to accept that and actlike you planned to let him know about that all along. If you act nervous or whiny or in any way other than accepting, he's going to pounce on you."Draco frowned. "Harry wouldn't do that."One eyebrow lifted in response. "Sweet little Gryffindor Harry wouldn't, no," she agreed. "The clingy five year old that jumped on your bed might, though. Theprecocious ten year old who told Dumbledore to shut up might, though. The teenager, who woke up in Malfoy Manor, recognized the setting as a potentialthreat, disarmed the 'enemy' and managed to flee, might, though.""Oh fuck." Draco closed his eyes and leaned his head against the arm of the chair wearily. "We turned him into a Slytherin.""No," she disagreed. "He was always a little bit Slytherin, just like you've always been a little bit Gryffindor." She shrugged. "We simply helped him shed hisgolden lining." Her expression tightened slightly. "You know I love you. I have told you that often over the years, and have never had cause to fear you wouldhold that over my head. Yes?" Draco nodded. Pansy smiled slightly. "Play by the rules that have helped us survive all these years. It shouldn't take longerthan a day or two for Harry's dreams to transport him back into our reality. So back off, remember who you are, and get to know Harry on this new level.""For how long?""Until you can tell him you love him without feeling overly exposed," she answered simply. Pansy glanced over her shoulder again. "I have to go. Write metonight and keep me informed."He nodded, sighing. "I will. I do love you too, you know?" Pansy smiled. "Hey," he asked curiously. "How were you able to Floo call me?"She shrugged. "I'm in detention. Crabbe's standing guard while Goyle led Professor McGonagall to the bathroom where some poor first year was accidentallyshoved into a toilet."Draco snorted. "You're the best Pansy.""Of course I am." She smiled sweetly at her friend. "I'm a Slytherin." Pansy blew him a kiss and vanished from sight.HDHDHDHarry remained in his room all the rest of Friday. Snape and Narcissa came and joined him for lunch; an awkward period of semi-forced conversation andmutual observation. Of Draco, there was no sign at all. After waiting approximately thirty minutes for his food to digest, Snape muttered an apology, took onefinal sample of Harry's blood, and then put him to sleep. Harry woke up stretching like a cat, rubbing his cheek against the glorious softness of the sheets,feeling inexplicably happy and safe and protected. Dreamily opening his eyes he paused, heart skipping a beat as he realized he felt safe and rested andwarm in Malfoy Manor. Being hovered over by Severus Snape. "Karma really is a bitch," he mused.Black eyes lit up with laughter. "Indeed, Mr. Potter.Harry flushed, unaware he had spoken aloud. He sat up, pleasantly surprised when his muscles didn't protest or twinge the movement. "I feel better," he saidin surprise.Snape nodded. "As well you should. You took a pain and muscle relaxant potion before we left Grimmauld Place, and I added yet another pain relievingformula to the sleeping draught I fed you after lunch." He smirked at the slightly uncomfortable way Harry was fidgeting. "Go take a shower," he urged, turningtowards the door. "You'll feel better. I'll be up in a bit with dinner."It felt good to shower, like he hadn't had a shower in quite awhile. He lingered; enjoying the sense of privacy, the lack of angry voices bellowing on the otherside of the door, the inexplicable feeling of safety he felt being here. It wasn't until he stepped out of the shower that he realized he didn't have any cleanclothes. He looked around uncertainly... stopping abruptly when he realized he was looking for a cubbyhole of clothes. Harry's breathing sped up, that creepyfeeling of déjà vu hitting him again, making his muscles feel weak and stripping away his defenses. Had he done this before? He shook off the sensation,swearing softly as he realized he was trembling. There were clothes waiting for him next to the bathroom sink.He put them on quickly, shoving his legs into pants and trousers, wanting to not feel so damned vulnerable and exposed. He paused, though, once he pickedup the shirt. The fabric felt nice under his hands, a familiar smell rising up and making him smile. It reminded him of another memory: one of the few times hefelt safe as a child... The smile fled as swiftly as it had bloomed. But it wasn't a memory. Not really. Because it was associated with... Draco. Harry blinked,staring at the shirt in his hands. The shirt smelled like Draco. The clothes were Draco's. And they made him happy, and relaxed, and reminded him of being...safe. Loved? He put the shirt on with fumbling fingers. This fucking inconsistency in reality was slowly driving him insane.He got through dinner somehow. He could sense Snape's concern over how jumpy he was acting. But how could he relax, Harry wondered. How could he,when his eyes kept straying to the door waiting for someone, for Draco, to appear. How could he relax when he took a bite of raspberry cheesecake; andthought he heard someone laughing and calling him Amico, and eating pastries in bed, while the smell of deodorant and laundry detergent mixed with sleepyboy and fresh coffee permeated the air.How could he relax, he asked himself later, as he struggled to fall asleep, when he felt this inexplicable sense of loss. He didn't miss Ron's snoring, that wasfor damn sure, but there was something... a feminine giggle from across the room, a feeling of warmth against the back of his neck, being reassured that hewas safe and no one could enter or leave the room without knowledge. Was that it? Frowning, Harry got out of bed, crossed the room, and locked the door.He stood there for a minute, feeling stupid, before unlocking it again and crawling back into bed. No, that wasn't it. He rolled over, onto his stomach,determinedly closing his eyes while his fingers splayed and reached for that same elusive something that he knew he kept under his pillow.His breath left him in a gasp as a sob welled up in his throat and choked him. Something was missing. Something was not right. Hot tears slid down his face.Is this what his life was going to be like from now on? Feeling like his reality was a lie? That he had lost something precious and wonderful and vital during thecourse of this accident? He couldn't handle it. He couldn't breathe. All he could do was lie there, hating himself, as he cried himself into an exhausted butrestless sleep. It wasn't until much much later, when he cried out and a hand softly pressed against his hair, that Harry fully relaxed and drifted into dreams.He woke up knowing there was someone in bed with him. Surprisingly, this knowledge made him happy; and it was with a gentle smile on his face that heopened his eyes. His smile slipped slightly, green eyes widening in shock as he swiftly sat up. "Hermione?"She squealed, launching herself at him. "Oh Harry! You're back you're back you're back! Well, not really, not yet," she pulled away slightly to beam into hisface. "But you're getting there! Oh, Harry I'm so glad to see you!" With another squeal, she buried her face in his neck and promptly burst into tears."I thought Pansy said only foolish girls squealed?" a confused voice asked."Maybe it was simply a loud exclamation of surprise," a different voice offered."You boys are completely mental," a feminine voice observed."I know you are not calling my Cucciola Mia a foolish girl," a slightly accented voice calmly interjected."You all have serious issues," Draco retorted.Harry smiled; he could practically see the amused smile on Draco's face. He frowned just as swiftly; since when did he know what Draco's voice sounded likewhen he smiled? Turning his head carefully to the right, he gaped when he saw something he had never quite imagined. Crabbe and Goyle were sitting onthe desk, swinging their legs. Parkinson sat in the chair, filing her nails, looking bored, while Zabini leaned against the wall next to Draco with his arms foldedacross his chest. All of them looked at him and smiled. Goyle waved. Feeling utterly out of his element, Harry pinched Hermione."Ow!" she pulled back, rubbing her side lightly. "Why'd you..." she trailed off, a conflicted expression briefly crossing her face. Wiping away her tears, shesmiled and gestured. "Harry, this is Vince, Greg, and Pansy." Greg waved again, Vince smiled and nodded, and Pansy smirked and studied him with a craftyexpression. "That's my boyfr... err... that's Blaise." The Italian boy gave Hermione an amused smile and winked at him. "And you know Draco, of course."Draco nodded at him, gray eyes conflicted. For some reason, Harry flushed and looked away.Hermione smoothed his hair, smiling fully. "I suppose you have quite a few questions, huh Har Bear?"Harry jerked his head up. "What did you call me?""She called you Har Bear," Greg offered cheerfully. "We've been calling you that since you were a baby.""Since I was a..." he trailed off, trying to ignore that same nagging feeling of loss that had plagued him last night. "Oh.""Sorry." Hermione looked unaccountable upset. Harry stared at her curiously. "Old habits die hard." She gave him a slightly watery smile. "You were a bitconfused when you were ten, as well.""Oh," Harry said again. A fuzzy thought flashed in his mind. "I thought you were my mum." He gestured to the journal on the night stand. "I wrote it down.""Well," Pansy declared brightly, standing up and smoothing down her robes. "Not that stagnant conversations aren't fun and all, but I suggest we continue thisconversation during breakfast."Harry again had that weird flash of memory. Someone snuggling him while a sleepy voice ordered him to call his elf. He shook it off, forcing a smile when hesaw everyone staring at him in varying degrees of concern. "Erm... yeah. Breakfast sounds great. Excuse me just a sec." He bolted into the bathroom, closingthe door behind him and sinking bonelessly down onto the toilet. His hands were shaking. What the fuck was going on? Reading about the fact that he wassupposedly friends with Slytherins, and actually being friends with said Slytherins were two completely different ideals. And where was Ron? Didn't he carethat Harry was vulnerable and confused and at Malfoy Manor. Harry paused, thinking about Hermione's stutter and blush when it came to Zabini. Blaise.Whatever. He frowned. Did Ron even know he wasn't a kid anymore?"Harry?""Just a sec!" He splashed water on his face, took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and walked back into the room. He wondered, very briefly, if heshould be concerned over the swelling of relief he felt when he noticed Snape calmly sitting at the transfigured table drinking coffee. Trying not to feel like hewas hiding, Harry slunk into a seat between his teacher and Draco. He tuned out the majority of the conversation and nodded at the blond. "Morning.""Morning," Draco answered just as cautiously."Didn't see you around yesterday.""No." He hesitated. "I didn't think you would want to see me after..." he flushed slightly, fiddling with his coffee cup. "Well, I just didn't think."Harry nodded, wondering if he was implying a lack of thought over the kiss or over his absence, but refrained from comment. "...and then there was a hugeBOOM!, big purple flames and white smoke, and lots of fire!"He looked over at Greg, startled. "What?"Vince nodded seriously. "You were on fire for a whole week. We were going to bring you here sooner if Dumbledore didn't do right by you."Pansy laughed. "Didn't do right by him? For Merlin's sake they weren't having an illicit affair!"Harry ignored the conversation again, his heart beating loudly in his chest. On fire. Yes, he had read about that. And he remembered it... kind of. Pain. Somuch pain, and heat, and, and, wrongness. Harry's breath sped up. He felt a cold hand cover his on the table, and flipped his hand over instinctively, twiningtheir fingers together. A second hand, warmer than the other, reached up and began rubbing the back of his neck. "It's all right, Harry," Draco breathed in hisear. Harry shut his eyes, his other hand reaching out to blindly grip Draco's thigh. "They're not mocking you. I promise. We've had time to...process, thehappenings. You haven't. It's perfectly all right to react this way." Harry shivered, relaxing slightly as Draco's hand continued to rub soothingly on the back ofhis neck. "Just breathe, Harry. That's it."It took a moment of forcing himself to concentrate on the hand on his neck, and the hand gripping his in silent support, but eventually his heart rate slowed.Green eyes opened, and blinked, before closing in mortification. He was sitting at the table with Hermione and his....friends?...snakes?...people...holdingSnape's hand while Draco soothed him. Flushing again, Harry withdrew his hand from Snape's and smiled hesitantly.A single eyebrow lifted in response. "We've yet to determine the cause and effects of your panic attacks," he offered quietly. "I think you are now physicallyand emotionally strong enough to handle the stresses in your life, and your body simply has to learn how to deal with what it has long dismissed.""Right, err," Harry cleared his throat; grateful the others were still caught up in conversation and hadn't seemed to notice his...lapse. "Thanks for that." Snapenodded.It wasn't until Draco removed the hand from his neck and placed it over his own that Harry realized he was still gripping Draco's thigh. He blushed again,briefly considering pulling his hand away. But Draco had already picked up his coffee cup and rejoined the conversation while holding his hand, and Harry justdidn't see the point. So he sat there, slightly dazed and euphoric, and held hands with his worst enemy while eating breakfast with people who hated himbecause his name was Harry Potter, while at Malfoy Manor. Right. Why not.He shrugged and took a bite of toast. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized. Sitting here, he wasn't simply happy and relaxed and safe. Hewas complete. That nagging sense of loss that had been plaguing him since he woke up in Grimmauld Place was filled. By these people. His self-claimedfamily. "Who did I piss off in a past lifetime?""What's that Harry?" Pansy paused in her conversation and looked at him inquiringly."Hmm? Oh, nothing. I was, just, err," flustered, he looked at Snape again."He was merely, once again, expressing his dislike for karma." Snape calmly sipped his coffee, smirking at the students.Harry grinned. "Yep. That was it." Hermione looked between the two suspiciously, before pulling Pansy back into conversation. "I want to see it," heinterrupted."See what?" Blaise broke the silence."Where I was on fire," Harry quietly answered. Draco's hand clenched painfully over his. Hermione bit her lip. Pansy exchanged looks with Professor Snape."Look," Harry raked his hand through his hair in frustration. Pansy smiled slightly. "I can't remember it, but what I do remember... well, it scares me. I startshaking and I panic. I need to see it.""Not today," Draco ordered quietly.Harry set his jaw stubbornly. "Yes, today.""Harry, I really don't think..."He cu off Hermione's worried exclamation. "I know that! I just," his hand clenched and unclenched on Draco's thigh as he searched for the words. Withoutprompting, Draco brought his hand back up and rubbed his neck again. "Look," Harry tried again, calmer. "I think I need to do this. I think it will help me." Helooked at Snape again.Black eyes stared intently into green for a long minute. Hermione opened her mouth again, but quieted as Blaise put a gentle arm around her shoulders. Atlast, Snape nodded once. "Then we will go."HDHDHDLuna, of all people, was standing on the steps waiting for them. She smiled brightly, waving energetically, as the group approached. "I've been waiting andwaiting!" she bubbled, flinging her arms around Harry for a fierce hug. "Welcome home, my friend!"Harry smiled, patting the clinging girl lightly on the back. "Thanks Luna." He gently detangled himself. "We were just going to see the infirmary."She nodded knowingly, ignoring Snape's dark look as she linked arms with Harry and joined them. "That could be fun! It's always best to remember the pastso as not to repeat mistakes in the future." Luna garnered several odd looks for that remark, but ignored them all as she skipped happily by Harry's side.The Hospital Wing was still under construction. The separate room Harry vaguely remembered waking up in was no more. The wall had been removed, bedsand supplies rearranged, and Madame Pomphrey and some healer he didn't recognize were arguing over a list of some sort. Tonks, Lupin, and Shacklebolt,were there as well; shoulders stooped with exhaustion as they conversed lightly with Dumbledore and McGonagall while scrubbing up the residual spelldamage from Harry's... his mind stuttered... fire accident. He had time to wonder why they were scrubbing it by hand when a wave of a wand would havecleaned up the whole mess in one go, when Tonks spotted him and promptly tripped over a bed."Wotcher Harry!" she beamed up at him from the floor. "Not feeling particularly flammable today, are you?" Harry felt Draco brush against his side, and smiledtentatively."Harry!" Lupin bounded over, grabbing him in a crushing hug. He pulled away to study him, smiling brightly. "You've returned to us! Oh thank heavens!""Hey Moony!" Harry grinned, subtly maneuvering out of the mans clutches. He felt Draco lightly grip his hip, and followed the silent summons out of thedoorway and into the room. "Yeah, came by for a quick visit to see... err... well," he shrugged. "Just to see I guess."Lupin frowned at the wording, and at the subtle way the Slytherins had blocked him from Harry. The matronly woman he didn't recognize came bustling overand cupped his face in her palms. "Hello love!" she chirped, scanning his retinas. Without quite knowing how, he found himself led over to a scale andmeasuring unit. "Well, of course you don't remember me," she continued blithely. "I'm Healer Goldenseal, and, oh, it is just a pleasure to see you again."Harry looked over his shoulder as the woman weighed, measured, and examined him. Draco was watching intently, with narrowed eyes, but smiledreassuringly. Snape split his attention between glaring at the rows of potions behind the woman, glaring at the people in the room with them, and glaring atthe silent healer across the room who was gripping her clipboard like a lifeline."Oh Harry, I'm so sorry," Madame Pomphrey whispered tearfully. She seemed petrified in place, unable to do anything more than stare at Harry. He didn'tquite remember what had happened, but judging by the poisonous looks on his friends'...err... his snakes'... faces, it wasn't good. He settled for smilingslightly and nodding in her direction.Healer Goldenseal looked very pleased with Harry. "Great progress!" she enthused. "You're currently sixty-eight inches and one hundred and ten pounds! Amuch healthier weight and height to be at!" Harry smiled at the woman, accepting the chocolate frog with a bemused smile.Pansy eyed the adults and sighed, turning so her back was presented to no one and away from the open door. "Wonder how long until they all come to blows,"she mused quietly.Hermione rested her hand lightly over where her wand lay inside her pocket. "They better stay away from my Har Bear," she retorted grimly.Blaise smoothed a hand over her curls. "He's not a baby anymore, cara."She jutted her chin stubbornly. "He's been my baby since I've known him."Vince jutted his chin out stubbornly. "Doesn't matter. He's ours. Draco said so." He turned, seeking confirmation. "Right?"Draco nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Harry. "Absolutely."Greg looked around the room. "We can take 'em," he stated confidently. Shouting broke out across the room."Less than five minutes," Pansy smirked."But he is no longer a child!" Professor McGonagall looked indignant. "He no longer needs the same level of medical or professional attention. He should bereturned to Hogwarts immediately!"Dumbledore looked between his furious teachers, tense students, silent Harry, and sighed; raising his hands pleadingly. "Now Minerva...""No!" she shouted furiously. "You have thwarted me every time! This situation has grown completely out of proportion! Harry will remain in Gryffindor houseand that's that!""Harry is not safe at school," black eyes promised pain. "He will not be safe until I figure out precisely how to stabilize his immune system!""Bull shit!" Remus spoke up. "If Harry needs to remain someplace safer than Hogwarts, then he should be with his family!""Precisely! Mr. Potter will stay with me!" Snape roared, black eyes flashing dangerously. Dumbledore put a restraining hand on the Potions Master's chest ashe strained towards Lupin. "Stay out of this, old man. It's because of those filthy Muggles you put his with that..."Moony swelled with indignant fury. "He's my best friend's son!" he shouted. "I am better able to look after him than anyone!""Now really!" Healer Goldenseal thrust Harry away from the adults and closer to his friends. Luna placed a protective hand on his arm. Draco, Pansy, andHermione withdrew their wands, narrowed eyes indicating a desire to fight. "This shouting and struggle for dominance is getting us nowhere! Controlyourselves at once!""Oh really?" Snape ignored the healer, his tone dripping with scorn as he addressed the man desperately trying to attack him. "Look after him how? Byregaling him with tales of his dead parents? Or perhaps explaining why you disappeared from his life for twelve years? Hmm? Is that how you propose tohelp?""How dare you!" Lupin roared. Tonks and Shacklebolt braced themselves, struggling to hold him back."Oh I dare," Severus hissed. "I dare because I was here. Harry may have hated me, but he knew I was here. He knew I was a protector. He knew that whileyou may choose to flit in and out of his life whenever the desire struck you, I would always be here for him! He said it himself once: there is consistency inroutine." He sneered at the angry werewolf before him. "Face it. It's always been true. If I had left his life, it would have caused far more of an impact than ifyou had!" Lupin roared again, struggling harder to get to Snape. Madame Pomphrey finally snapped out of her bubble of guilt and rushed forward to helprestrain him.Harry couldn't move. He stared at the scene playing out before him, wanting nothing more in his life than to deny that accusation. But it was there; like adisease; ringing through his head and crying in his heart. His memories of the last month were vague at best, but even without them, Harry knew it was true.He would have missed Snape more. Snape was right; he was consistent. He was there. The greasy git, the snarky bastard, the one who tried to protect himas far back as his first ever Quidditch game... Harry had not gone longer than a day without thinking about or talking to or seeing the man, for the last sixyears of his life. He represented Hogwarts, to an extent, which Harry had always, without fail, referred to as home. Long before Harry's ten year old self haddeclared Snape family, he had been associating the man with home all along. Whereas Lupin... Lupin was a Marauder. His dad's friend. Sirius's friend. Andafter his teaching was over when Harry was thirteen, he hadn't seen the man again until he collected him from the Dursley's when he was fifteen. Lupin hadleft him. Not by choice, perhaps. But somehow Harry had innately known not to depend on him. And he'd barely spared the man more than a passing thoughtall these years. But Snape...He swayed slightly in place, completely blown away by his epiphany. "Err..." Harry rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, seeking an elusive form of comfortthe gesture implied. "I have to go to the bathroom."Healer Goldenseal paused in her glaring match with Madame Pomphrey and Professor Dumbledore to smile kindly at Harry. "Of course, dear one. You goright on ahead." Lupin took a step closer to Harry, glaring at Blaise, Greg, and Vince, when the boys stood as one and blocked his path."Right," Harry nodded stiffly, avoiding eye contact with everyone as he hurried to the bathroom. He opened the door and quickly entered, fully prepared toclose and lock the door when he was abruptly shoved further back into the bathroom. Harry staggered, catching himself against the wall, as another figureentered the bathroom with him; slamming and locking the door.Large protuberant eyes danced with happiness as she twirled her wand merrily through the air, an iridescent sheen covering the door. Harry looked betweenthe door and his friend warily. Wards were supposed to be clean and clear. It was a standard clause important to their reliability. If they couldn't be seen, theycouldn't easily be breached without substantial effort. Luna's wards were visible. "Umm, Luna?"Someone knocked on the door, a muffled voice offering a garbled inquiry. Luna ignored the distraction, pulling a milky looking potion out of her robes andoffering it to him. "Don't you wish it wasn't a dream, Harry?"He blinked. "Pardon?"She lazily flipped the vial from hand to hand. "I know what it's like to walk around in a distorted reality. Everything hazy and dream like." Luna looked up,blinking her eyes slowly, her gaze intent and freezing him in place. She smiled gently. "But not for you, Harry. You were never meant to have your memoriesand thoughts interrupted. Your power is great, yes. Awesome." Blonde hair danced around her waist as she shook her head. "But not like this. This will hurtthe way you view your reality. It will change your perspective in an equally frightening and irreversible way."The knocks on the door turned into a cacophony of banging as the students and teachers realized it was locked and warded.Harry once again looked between the door and his friend. "Snape said I have adverse reactions to chemicals. How could you possibly help me when hecan't?"She smiled dreamily at the wall, potion vial swinging carelessly between her fingers. "Call me an expert on all things, Harryverse." Without once ever meetinghis eyes, Luna tossed the potion vial to him. Harry caught in without thought, his seeker skills kicking in without prompting, and simply stared at the nearlytransparent liquid swirling in an almost happy blur of sparks.The banging on the door intensified. He could hear loud declarations to blast the door down, followed by desperate shouting from Madame Goldenseal andMadame Pomphrey about the flammable contents of the infirmary. Someone, Hermione maybe, yelled out that Fred and George knew how to pick locks. Thatthey had laughed about how they'd used the Muggle skill to break into the Dursley's house to get Harry's stuff back in second year."I," Harry frowned. He did not have a history of trust with chemicals. And... he rubbed his scar absently. Somewhere in the back of his head there was theimpression of a hand gently patting his messy hair as his...father?... decisively told him not to take any potions and he would be all right. "I don't think..." Hestared at the bottle. This feeling of déjà vu was oppressive. The dreams that were memories, this confusion and feeling of helplessness. "Really?"The door shook as something heavy was thrust against it. Harry ignored it, staring into Luna's eyes. Hopeful. Pleading. She continued to smile at him,reaching up a hand to gently caress his cheek. "You were one of the first people to not treat me as something or someone to be patronized and dismissed.Gryffindors are not the only ones loyal, Harry. I am your friend."Harry lifted the cup to his mouth and drank the potion down in one gulp. The texture was slightly gritty, with an oily residue just underneath that reminded himunpleasantly of castor oil. The flavor, bitter with a slightly acidic tang, exploded across his tongue and made his nose wrinkle with disgust as his eyes brimmedwith sympathetic tears. His stomach lurched once; he belched loudly, and then... nothing. "I don't understand..." He paused, opening and closing his mouthsoundlessly, as a violent gash ripped him apart from the inside out. For just a second, time seemed suspended. Harry looked up, green eyes dilated withshock and pain, before his knees crumpled and he hit the floor.He could feel the blood in his veins turning sluggish, as shards of ice burst throughout his system and speared him. It burned. And consumed. And left pricklyneedles of pain on his sensitized and rapidly freezing flesh. And if that wasn't an unpleasant sensation...he whimpered, a mix of pain and confusion. "Luna,"he choked out. Frightened green eyes looked desperately up at where Luna was standing, calmly watching and humming to herself as tremors shook Harry'sframe. "Hurts..." he panted out. One hand flew to his throat, clawing desperately at the skin there, trying to physically open his airway as the cold settled overhim like a blanket. Smothering.Luna smiled down at him as he convulsed silently on the ground. "Don't fight it Harry," she told him in a lilty, sing-songy tone of voice. "It really is for the best."She was still standing there, humming to herself, as Harry gave one desperate gulp for air and his heart stopped beating.