Love Undefined

Chapter 13

Hai zindagi mana dard bhari,
Phir bhi isme ye Rahat bhi hai..

The phone was dropped on the mattress by her side. Her hands covering her face which was laced with disappointment. If there was something so important why agree before talking things out.

Mehek's mind ran so many scenarios, absurd but whose possibility could not be denied.

She started mumbling to herself, " Jigar was distant today, it was as if a cold bucket of water... Is he going to backout?"

Her mind went into frenzy and just then the phone rang again.

On answering she knew it was an emergency, a welcome distraction at the moment!

*_*_*

Jigar parked the car and went inside the house all the while talking to a friend, making reservations in his restaurant for tomorrow.

His mother got up on seeing him and Jigar wrapped up the call, he asked, " Mom? Why are you up so late?"

" The things you told me in the mall..how can I sleep knowing you feel like that!"

Aditya kept a supporting hand on her shoulder and asked Jigar to sit down.

" Beta, you should try and forget the past. What has living in the past ever given us anything?", Aditya said.

" Dad, it is not that. I'm scared of being left alone, again. I..I can't deal with it!"

Aditya sighed and said, " It is part and parcel of every relationship. There is this constant threat of death. How can one forget living in fear of death?"

Jigar sighed, " I know and I'm trying to overcome those fears. I just want to tell Mehek or rather warn her of what she is getting into."

" You said anything to her?", Priya asked.

" Yes. We are meeting tomorrow for lunch."

Priya nodded and Aditya kept an understanding hand on his shoulder.

Jigar went inside his room and collapsed on the bed. He wondered what and how he will express his state of mind. Moreover, Mehek should not misunderstand him.

With the thoughts, night consumed his energy and soon Jigar was asleep.

The new sun brought new opportunities and Jigar woke up. He went for his daily run in the nearby park. He was a fitness junkie. Unless it is an emergency, he will go to parks for run everyday and do weight lifting after coming back home. The result was visible in how well toned he was.

Running helped Jigar clear his head and this morning's run at least made a few things easier for him.

After coming back home, he freshened up, had breakfast and went to the hospital. He took rounds and attended to the few patients who had come for OPD and soon he signed a half day leave and was driving to Thane.

The restaurant he had booked was on the main road, so not much getting into the city for the both of them.

He arrived early and waited for Mehek at their designated table.

After a wait of fifteen minutes, Mehek arrived. She looked a bit sleep deprived but her usual self and Jigar got up as she neared the table. He offered her the chair and took a chair beside her.

" So, how was your drive?", Jigar asked.

" Good. Thankfully, no traffic!", She replied.

Jigar chuckled.

The waiter gave them the menus and left the table. The couple quickly went through it and placed the order.

" What is it that you wanted to discuss?", Mehek asked.

" I..I had a girlfriend during MBBS. We dated even during PG but then the unexpected happened."

Mehek gasped.

" She died in an accident."

Mehek put a supporting hand on his hands on the table.

" I have never been the same after that incident."

" Ofcourse.", Mehek said soothingly.

" I had this whole life planned out with her and suddenly she is no more. It's been four plus years to her death now but the feeling of this heartbreak is unshakable. I have a fear of losing loved ones. I don't know why but I'm scared of this association, I feel undeserving of this new start."

Mehek heaved a sigh," Why do you feel undeserving of this new start?"

" I just..a part of her lives in me, okay. I can't shake this feeling of letting her go, completely."

Mehek nodded her head in understanding, "Jigar, I think what you need is some space. This is too fast a pace for this relationship, don't you think? When you start trusting me completely, understand us completely then you will automatically give us a chance."

" I have already given us that chance, Mehek. I trust you and I'm trying to understand us but I feel if I never told you about her then it might be a sort of injustice with you."

Mehek's eyes filled with tears, she rubbed them off and leaned her head on his shoulder, " Jigar, relationships are complex. What you are going through is natural. I understand and I really appreciate how it was important for you to share this with me. I really do!"

Jigar pulled her face towards him and looked deeper into her eyes.

" Mehek, you are important to me. Never think I will not prioritise or do injustice with you! This feeling is a problem of mine. You are perfect for me."

Mehek smiled, " It is no longer just your problem. You feel undeserving but you are entitled to every bit of this love and new start coming your way and this is my responsibility to make you aware of it!"

Jigar shaked his head and Mehek simply leaned her head on his shoulder, " So, let's have lunch and then you show me around, what's say?"

Jigar chuckled and said, " As you say madam!"

They had their lunch with an easy conservation and soon they ditched one car and Jigar showed Mehek around.