Everything I Never Had the Courage to Say

chocolate-covered pretzels

beyond the friendship
but we drew a line,
sweet, innocent kisses,
but you were never mine.
holding hands on transits,
but we come home to feed our guilts.
Saturday frostbite,
the end is nearly on sight.
The quicker that it starts,
The quicker it will fall apart.

autumn leaves in a blur,
tear-stained sweater sleeves,
the earphones that we've shared,
the bus ride leading to your bed.
your favorite books to read,
the nights when you smoked too much weed,
the coffee shop we inhabit,
the day of our almost-split,
the lake, in June, where you said you loved me,
my head on your lap,
reciting poems, wistfully.
slow dancing in the rainstorm,
and making love by the bonfire.
You were a different kind of livewire.

Your lips were soft,
and just magnetic.
My knees are weak,
my heartbeat's erratic.
Your eyes were wild,
but not regretful.
You tasted like chocolate-covered pretzels.
The kiss that held all our in-betweens.
It's sad that we're choosing to give in.
The sweet sensation, mixed with the salty tears.
It was the hardest goodbye I've had to say in years.