Reputation

23

I laid on my bed with my Spotify love playlist in the background and honestly could not believe who I was fantasizing about right now. 

Like Rowan, Hayden Brooks, seriously?

But I couldn't stop replaying the kiss by the fountain or the fact that he finally admitted that he sprayed silly string on me because he didn't want Jacob Miller.

I also thought about the fact that he thought that he wasn't good enough for me to like him in a romantic way. I had to admit, at first it was weird to think about Hayden in a way that involved kissing him and just liking him.

The thought of us together was starting to feel normal. I never thought that II would ever admit that but it didn't feel as weird.

Of course, me being Rowan, I didn't want anyone's opinions or discourse, I just needed time to process my feelings first.

The only person's feelings that I wanted to hear right now were Hayden's, but we hadn't really talked about the elephant in the room even though it had been a few days.

I think it was because both of us didn't really know how to approach it. 

There was a knock at my bedroom door. "Ro?"

I sat up. "Come in, mom."

She had on a nice top with jeans. Her hair was freshly silk-pressed so she looked extra nice.

"Are you ready to go? Were you laying down? Rowan! You're going to have a bunch of flyaways." she attempted to brush down my hair.

Today was the day that I was taking my senior pictures. My mom had been coordinating everything from my hair to my makeup to my outfits for weeks now. To be honest, I think she was micromanaging more than usual because she didn't know how to process that her last child was graduating from high school and going to college all the way in Texas.

I stood up and hushed her. "Mom, mom, mom. Calm down. It will be fine. Everything will be fine. Let's just go so we can make it to the makeup appointment."

We drove to the lady who always did my makeup for special occasions ever since my eighth-grade formal. I wasn't getting anything too extra just a nice soft, glowy beat.

"I can't believe that little Rowan is going all the way to Texas for school!" samara, the makeup artist commented. 

I could hear my mom sigh as my eyes were closed. "Me either. I don't know what me and Patrick are going to do next year. We're thinking of downsizing, and going on lots of vacations, I don't know this is all new to me. I've had a child in the house for over twenty years!"

The thought of my parents downsizing made me a little sad. That was the house I was brought home from the hospital to, the house all four of us Carroway kids lived in, going home to a house for the holidays that Riley never lived in wasn't sitting right with me.

But at the end of the day, I guess I understood. A house with seven bedrooms was a little much for two empty nesters.  I just had to remind myself that if my parents moved, the memory of Riley would always be there.

"Ro, you need to book Samara for prom by the end of the week." my mom reminded me.

Prom.

I wonder if Hayden was actually going to ask me in one of those cute Pinterest-y ways. 

"I still have to find a dress," I remembered

Ugh, I still have to find a dress. 

"Any cute date? Same boy from homecoming?" she wondered

"Definitely not him, but we'll see how everything works out." I responded.

I didn't want to get my hopes up only for Hayden to break them.