Under My Skin

38 | it's twenty years

"So, what's happening with the wedding preparation? Shouldn't we be going bridesmaid dress shopping soon?" Ria quizzed the couple behind her; Lydia's head was nestled upon Reid's sturdy shoulder as the two sat on bar stools in the kitchen.

Ria began noticing the patterns of heavy chatter followed by gut-wrenching quiet, which ensued whenever she stepped foot into the room. It told her that she was undoubtedly the topic of the conversation, and today was no exception. Thankfully, Sihem wasn't present - and to be frank, Ria didn't care where she was. Her incessant trips to the toilet whenever Ria was around bespoke of her guilt.

"Why aren't you at work?" Reid counter-asked his sister.

"I called in sick." She replied, her words gushing out like water falling from a reservoir. She could almost feel the eyes of judgement scorching through her back. She slapped her finest smile across her face as she twirled around to face the two. "Everybody gets sick from time to time." She knew what Reid was thinking, so she felt the need to justify her actions.

"Did you get much sleep last night?" Reid responded pointedly, immediately acknowledging how Ria's gaze descended from him to the bowl of soup in front of her as she sat across from him on the kitchen island. "All the melatonin in the cupboard's finished, and it's not mum or me that's been taking it. And don't think I haven't noticed that you're only eating one meal a day." He explained, his voice gentle but holding all the authority of a parental figure.

"He's not lecturing you. We understand that you've probably lost your appetite with everything recently." Lydia offered. Ria had noticed how her former sixth-form bully had become even more amicable in the last week, which was unsettling, to say the least. Lydia's newfound kindness reminded Ria that everything had changed. Ria almost yearned for one of her signature snide remarks - an emblem of normalcy in a state of chaos.

"You didn't answer me about the wedding. There's still quite a lot to organise. I don't want to rush around last minute like we did for the engagement party. There are less than two months left." Ria dodged the topic at hand.

Lydia and Reid shared an uneasy look before Lydia let out a borderline peeved sigh. "We're going to postpone it for a bit. Maybe until early next year. It's probably not the right time right now."

"What? But you've already put a deposit down on the hall." Ria retaliated, but the mere mention of the hall unlocked an unwanted memory buried within her hippocampus. She recalled a month prior, when she had been in the elevator with Blaine, how he'd done unspeakable things to her whilst proposing a wedding location to Reid. She hoped the redness of her cheeks hadn't left her resembling a tomato.

"The wedding can wait," Reid said.

"You shouldn't have to put your plans on hold," Ria answered honestly. "Life goes on. We know that better than anyone, Reid."

"We don't want you to be so miserable on the day," Lydia argued. "Think about how it'll look in the wedding pictures."

"I'm not miserable!" Ria snapped - despite her words, her voice betrayed her as it inhabited every element of aggravation and gloom. "I'm happy. Actually, I'm very happy if you must know."

"We're just trying to have your back, Ria." Lydia tutted.

"You? Have my back?" Ria chortled. "You'd only have my back if I was standing at the edge of a cliff!"

"I think I'm going to leave before the claws really come out." Lydia purred. "I'll leave you two to talk. See you later, babe." She sprang off the stool, smooching Reid's cheek before she exited the room.

"Ria—" He began.

She raised a hand up to stop his words. "I don't want to be lectured, Reid. I don't want you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do and then use dad to guilt me into doing whatever you think I should be doing."