CHAPTER 10 - What Do You Mean?

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"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you, and I'd choose you."

-The Chaos of Stars

Dean didn't mean to fall asleep in Cas' bed. He'd just been waiting for awhile, and exhaustion may have gotten the best of him. But when he woke up, the absence of the sun was indicating he'd slept through the afternoon, and a blanket had been draped over him.

As Dean made his way into Cas' living room, a hint of guilt washed over him as he saw Cas asleep on his couch, head resting on a philosophy textbook.

Dean, with as much stealth as he could, gently lifted Cas' head and removed the book, replacing it with a pillow, and placing the blanket over him. He smiled to himself before heading home. He still had responsibilities, like Sammy.

He made sure the paper with his number was close to where Cas was laying before he left. Before his hand reached the door handle, he heard a small whimper. He turned around and saw Cas' hands shaking and his legs lashing out slightly. His head was shaking back and forth and his eyes were moving side to side, awake in some vivid dream.

Dean slowly set his jacket down again and moved in front of the couch. He waited a moment before Cas started to mumble in his sleep.

"No," he was whispering. "Please, no."

Dean's heart was breaking at the sight, but it was really late. He needed to get home. He knelt down and moved some hair away from Cas' head. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to Cas' forehead.

"You're gonna be okay, Cas," he whispered. "I promise."

Cas started to calm down, but Dean kept his hand on Cas' forehead, stroking the skin with his thumb until he was sure Cas was alright. Dean made his way to the door and took one last look at Cas before leaving.

~

When Cas woke up, the sun was gone and his back hurt from sleeping on the couch. It took him a moment to remember why he was sleeping on the couch, but a smile spread across his face as he remembered. He got up to see where Dean went, and noticed a piece of paper fall to the ground. He skimmed over Dean's note, which told him to call as soon as he woke up, and reached into his pocket to save Dean's number in his contacts.

>17 NEW MESSAGES

Cas was very confused. He talked to hardly anyone, and even fewer had his number. But as he examined further, it became clearer. They were all from Metatron.

Cas only looked at one before falling into a nervous breakdown.

'I see your Winchester pet is back. If you don't show up behind your building tonight at nine, we're going after his brother.'

Cas sat back down, breathing heavily as he tried to regain a general thought process.

He thought about calling Dean, but decided against it. He doesn't need to know, Cas thought. He'd never forgive me if something happened to Sam. I have to do this alone.

As the clock slowly approached nine at night, Castiel was sincerely contemplating calling Dean to help him through this. He didn't want to sound helpless, but he also didn't want to risk Dean or Sam getting hurt.

But he couldn't handle not letting Dean know something, so he sent a risky text along the lines of: 'If I don't text you by 9:30, you're welcome to kinda show up.'

He received a reply almost immediately. 'Why? What the hell's happening between now and 9:30?! Forget it...I'll be there soon.'

Cas hit the call button before Dean could leave, hopefully. it was answered after half a ring.

"Cas...what the hell is going on?!" Dean said, worry so apparent you could practically touch it.

Cas sighed and let out a nervous laugh. "It's nothing I can't handle. But please, Dean. If there is any part of you that trusts me or cares about me, even a little, I need you to stay away from my apartment until I call and say otherwise."

"But-" Dean started, but Cas cut him off.

"No buts...I cannot stress this enough: stay away. Please, I am literally begging you," he said.

Dean sighed through the phone, and Cas could sense that he probably had his hand over his eyes. "I don't like this. I don't like it at all, Cas."

Cas chuckled, but all good thoughts left his mind when he looked over at his clock and realized he had less than two minutes to be in the alley.

"I have to go. Please, listen to what I said, Dean," Cas rushed out, and wasn't able to make out whatever Dean was starting to say.

Cas began a regretful trudge towards the back door of his apartment building. Time seemed to slow down during the short walk. What could he possibly want? Cas thought. He was finally out of his uncle's life; he was no longer there to remind Metatron of what horrible ends his sister and nephews endured. Wasn't being gone enough?

Castiel winced as a cold wind nipped at his cheeks as he stepped outside.

He looked around for Metatron, and was disappointed to see him at the other end of the alley, without his posse. Cas didn't question it.

"Castiel! Fancy meeting you here..." Metatron said.

Cas rolled his eyes, tired of Metatron's games. "What do you want, Metatron?"

Metatron lowered his grin and hardened his gaze. "I want redemption. You're the reason everyone I loved is dead! It's always been your fault, y'know."

Cas felt tears brimming his eyes. "How the hell could you think I am possibly responsible for my family's death? I was six years old!"

"Your family? They weren't your family! They were never your family! You belonged to no one and they felt sorry for you, so they picked you up off the street and pretended you were one of their own. You should have died the night they did!"

Cas wouldn't dare cry in front of this bastard. Never again...

Before Cas could say anything, Metatron had pulled out a gun...and he was crying. Cas held up his hands and backed away slightly.

"I've lost everything...everything! I don't...I can't-" he whimpered. Cas didn't feel sorry for him, but he was shocked the monster had feelings. He inched forwards ever so slowly.

"Metatron," he said, "You don't have to do this. I can help you...there's people who can help you, just put down the gun. It'll all be over soon, I promise."

"It's never gonna be over," Metatron whispered, before shouting, "until you're dead like my sister."

The last thing Cas heard before the gunshot was a lot of shouting and the hum of an old car.

Then everything went dark.

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