I Promise | A Destiel High School & College AU

CHAPTER 11 - I Can't Do This Without You

"All I want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door. And if I could see your face once more, I could die a happy man I'm sure."
-All I Want by Kodaline

Dean lost count of how many prayers he had said that night.

He knew that Cas had asked him to stay well away until he said otherwise, but Dean never listened when a message started out like that.

Dean wasn't much of a prayer.

He'd never had faith in a higher power. Why would this God that's all-knowing and kind let such terrible things happen?

But Cas was different. Cas deserved to live. And Dean would pray until his head neared bursting to make sure God heard him.

It had been almost a week. The bullet wound in Cas' chest was supposed to be getting better. Any closer to his heart, there'd be no point in even hoping for it to get better.

The only thing Dean could do was wait. And he wasn't a very patient person.

"I'm surprised you've stayed this long," the nurse said as she came to check on Cas' vitals. "He must mean a lot to you."

Dean looked over to Cas, a certain sadness and grief filling his heart. "Yeah, he does. Why isn't he getting any better? The bullet's been out for days."

The nurse stopped what she was doing and looked at Dean sadly, then back to Cas. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but you deserve to know. The truth is, we have no idea what's wrong with him. Physically, he's healing and healthy. And there's no damage to his brain...he just won't wake up."

That was enough to bring tears to the brim of Dean's eyes.

The nurse sighed. "I've been witness to things like this before. If you two are as close as you appear to be, maybe you could be the one to bring him back."

Dean had heard about situations where someone was practically comatose, and other people would talk to them to see if the person responded to voices of people he or she remembered. He thought it was a load of shit.

But he was willing to try anything for Cas.

"What am I supposed to say?" Dean asked.

"Just give him a reason to keep fighting," the nurse said, a smile on her face as she walked out the door.

Dean found himself anxious to try, but eventually pessimistic thinking dulled his excitement. It's not going to work... he thought, but found his legs carrying him and a chair closer to the side of Cas' bed.

He hesitated at first, but one look at Castiel's practically lifeless form made his heart wrench, and he reached for Cas' hand, holding it in between his two.

"Cas? I don't know if you can hear me...but the, uh, nurse told me that sometimes talking would help wake someone up, and I thought I'd give a try," he said.

"Anyways, I know you've been through a lot...like, a lot. I know if I were you I sure as hell wouldn't wanna wake up either. And I know that hole in your chest must hurt like a bitch, but...I'm gonna need you to look past all that," Dean found that his eyes were brimming with tears and he was choking on his words slightly.

"Just...look at me. Don't look back and think about how crappy a hand you've been dealt, or how horrible your uncle was to you. Just look at me...I'm always gonna be here for you. I'm never going to leave you again, and I know it must be hard to trust me after what I did to you and I know trust doesn't just show up for someone one day. I know I'll have to earn it. But I'm willing to wait...I just need you to come back. You gotta wake up. Please, Cas," Dean found his voice breaking, "I need you here."

As if he was responding as simply as by speaking, Cas' finger twitched. Not a lot, but enough to get Dean's attention. "Oh, my God," he said. "Oh my God! Cas! Cas, can you hear me? I'm right here, I'm right here...I'm here."

Nothing else happened for a few minutes, but then Cas' fingers jerked again, shooting hope through Dean.

"Nurse!" he called from the doorway. "Nurse, please come quick!"

The nurse from before emerged from another room and rushed over to Dean.

"What's wrong?" she asked frantically.

"I did that talking thing, and his fingers started to move! I think he's waking up! I know I can't expect him to just be awake so soon, but I think-"

"Dean?"

Dean's head shot around to the source of the voice, and the sight before him was enough to bring a lump to his throat as he realized that it had worked.

Cas was awake.

It probably was a bad idea to run so fast in such a short distance and in such a cramped area, but Dean took no haste in running to Castiel's side. He didn't notice, but the nurse had gone to inform a doctor.

"Cas! Oh my God, you're awake!" Dean didn't know what overtook him, but one of his hands had found Cas' again, while the other was pushing hair away from Castiel's face. "You're awake...how are you feeling? Do you need anything? Are, are you cold, hot? Can you feel-"

"You're making my head hurt, Dean," Cas said, flashing a small smile, which Dean treasured.

"Sorry, I'm just happy you're okay," Dean said, noticing the life that had returned to Cas, and remembered the stunning blue of his eyes, cherishing them, as he thought he may never see them again. He squeezed Cas' hand, and Cas returned the gesture.

Cas' eyebrows furrowed together as he felt his chest. "Did...did I get shot?"

Dean let out a throaty chuckle. "Yeah, yeah...you got shot."

Realization set into Cas' eyes, as well as fear, when he understood that only one person could have done this to him, and he recalled what happened the last time he was awake.

"He...he shot m-me, M-Metatron, he..." Cas' eyes were speaking for themselves. And to Dean, they were saying that if Cas didn't leave, something horrible was going to happen to him.

Dean must have been right, because Cas started moving, making a feeble attempt to try and leave.

"Whoa, Cas. You need to rest. Just lay down, okay?" Dean said.

Cas made no move to stop, so Dean stood up and placed an arm over Cas' chest as carefully as he could.

"No, no I have to..." Cas said, his throat scratchy from the lack of talking. "I can't, I can't do it, Dean. He'll find me again. Please, please..."

What broke Dean's heart was that Cas was conveying such fear for his life with a scratchy voice barely above a whisper.

Dean moved onto the bed with Cas, gently rocking him back and forth. Cas reached up and held onto Dean's arm as if letting go would be the end of him.

"I'm...I'm so afraid, Dean," Cas said. Dean felt tears against his arm. Cas was crying.

"It's alright," Dean said. "I've got you. I've got you."

They stayed that way until Cas fell asleep. Dean didn't bother moving.