CHAPTER 13 - You Weren't Supposed to Find Out

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"Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me? Remember when I broke you down to tears? I know I took the path that you would never want for me. I gave you hell through all the years. Don't tell me that I'm wrong. I've walked that road before, and left you on your own. And please, believe me when I say, that's it's left for yesterday and the records that I've played. Please forgive me for all I've done."
-I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons

Dean sat facing away from Castiel, his head lowered, and his eyes glued to the floor.

Cas poured another cup of coffee and set it on the table in front of Dean.

"Tell me what happened, Dean," Cas said.

Dean opened and closed his mouth several times, like he knew what he wanted to say but the right words wouldn't come out.

"Do I have to?" he finally said.

Cas smiled slightly, and regrettably said, "Kind of...yeah."

Dean took a long sip of the coffee and set it on the table once he was done. He situated himself on the couch and glanced from the floor to Cas, back to the floor again.

"It's kind of a long story...I guess I should start at the beginning. When I was a kid, my mom died in a house fire. Sammy was just a baby, he doesn't even remember her.

"My dad was convinced beyond belief that she was murdered, that someone broke in and did that to her. But the police could never find out who did it. He...he went insane..." Dean said, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the topic. He didn't really have a choice, though.

"Instead of looking for who could have done it, he took...drastic measures. There was rarely a night he was home before dawn, and he'd just drink till he could see the sun and pass out on the couch until night again," Dean said. "Sometimes he didn't come home...and we never knew where he went. Until a few days before I met you, actually. Once we knew what had been going on, I...uh, took matters into my own hands."

Cas, too, didn't like the direction this conversation was headed. But he needed to know the truth, after so long of thinking it was his fault Dean left in the first place.

Dean continued. "I took Sammy, and we ran. Showed up in your town first. God, I was so stupid to think we could handle living on our own...especially after what I did..."

Castiel was starting to get scared. "What did you do...Dean, what did you do?"

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and shaking spoke, "I killed my father."

After several tense seconds, maybe minutes, the initial shock had worn off, and now Castiel was just stressing over the fact that he was harboring a murderous fugitive.

Cas stood up and stepped onto his balcony to get some air. It didn't look like Dean noticed. It was cold, and Cas had left his trench coat inside, but that was the least of his worries.

Dean's a murderer, he thought. Dean's a...wait, why?

Castiel suddenly became aware of the fact that there was probably more to this story. He headed back inside and sat down.

He composed himself and said, "Why did you kill your father, Dean?"

Dean brought his eyes up to Cas', as if begging him not to make him say it. But Cas wouldn't budge, no matter how huge Dean's eyes got.

Dean glued his gaze back to the floor and stuttered out, "Because he's the one who...who murdered your family."

Castiel felt the balance of everything come crashing down on his shoulders. His face dropped and drained of color. His eyes became cold and lifeless. His brain stopped processing information. He was silent for a while.

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