My Brother's Playboy Best Friend

10

Vince's point of view.

I watch Hazel leave with Neil and try not to be too resentful. He's a good guy. He has never wronged her. Not like I have. I hate how things snowballed into this mess. I frown at Parker. I want to ask him why he let Hazel leave considering his usual protectiveness but Aaron beats me to it.

"How come he's allowed to leave with female Stitles?" he whines at Parker like a kid.

Parker glares at him. "Don't call her that, Jesus."

Aaron raises his eyebrows with insistence, still waiting for an answer. Parker rolls his eyes, sipping on alcohol.

"Because I trust him, alright? Neil's good guy."

"To date?" a player asks.

Parker pretty much growls. "To befriend."

The players laugh, I do too in spite of myself. Gotta love that guy. I drink some more to distract myself.

"Never have I ever been in love with a one-night stand...?" someone, I can't even put my finger on who, asks.

I feel eyes on me and purposely pretend I'm about to take a shot, just to pull their legs a bit. Since I drank at the fallen in love one, they have been furiously trying to find out who I fell in love with. It's useless though because I only drank to get Hazel's attention. And it didn't work. It could have though, I remember when she praised "that kind of love" and tried to make a move on me for the first time. Good times.

I lean back in my seat, arms crossed, and smile smugly. The players chatter, trying to find another sentence to ask about whoever I allegedly fell in love with. Next to me, Eve scoots closer like I've forgotten her presence. I look at her briefly so she can stop being so fucking insecure. She smiles, satisfied, and snuggles close to me. Since I scolded Hazel because of her, she has gotten so full of herself. She's convinced I defended her because I like her but no, I defended her because Hazel was in the wrong. I defended her because if Hazel got in trouble, it would be a bit my fault. With the way she looks up at me, I can't allow her to behave like that. She needs to know when she goes too far and when she's in the wrong.

Apparently, I need to know when I'm in the wrong too. It took me a while to realize how dumb I was. I was dumb enough to talk about her like I did, in ways that no one should be talked about. I regret it and I miss her. I know she's hurt, she's been avoiding me after all. I just don't know how to make it right. I don't know what to do to be forgiven. Apologizing doesn't seem to be enough. Even Parker is at loss, you don't get to see that much often. And now she doesn't speak to me, look at me, acknowledge me. It's like I'm not there. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. Hazel is... an amazing friend. Or 'was'? Maybe it's 'was' now. But even if it's 'was' instead of 'is', that 'was' mattered. Hell, Hazel was everything and more. She made me feel better than I am. She made me feel like I'm good enough. She made me feel happy. She was that one girl who didn't try to get in my pants any chance she got. She tried to get in my heart instead. I think it worked. A bit. Because otherwise I wouldn't be missing her like crazy now.

The more I feel her pulling away from me, the more I want her. I've been going stupid about it, about her. I feel her slipping through my fingers and I panic every time. In the end, I spit dumb shit at her and we both get even more hurt. She rejected me too, harshly, coldly. I remember her words so clearly. 'Don't touch me, Vince. I'm done with you.' I didn't know my heart could break so easily. I felt so hurt and offended. I brooded and drank until they started playing that stupid drinking game. Hazel was supposed to kiss me. She always wanted to. But she didn't. She was grossed out by the idea. She hates me. So damn much. And then she left with Neil. I keep losing her and I don't know what to do anymore.

"Should we go back to my place after this?" Eve asks and it takes me some time to register she's talking to me.

I lazily look at her. Beer has started messing with me. She gives me puppy eyes, her cheeks blushed because of the alcohol, her lipstick all messy from frenching that other girl. What a mess she is. She's lucky she's hot. As I stare at her, analyzing everything that makes her pretty, I start comparing her to Hazel. Every detail jumps out. Hazel might not be as conventionally attractive, but she's so much more beautiful. I groan in annoyance. Eve seems taken aback and her face tells me she's hurt.

"You could have simply said no," she says, turning away.

I insulted her. I don't care. Girls like her, there will be others. She's not worth losing Hazel. I lean my head back against the seat and stare at the white ceiling of the restaurant. I recall how Hazel looked when she walked into the room earlier with Parker, wearing a cropped shirt and some sweatpants. I love that shirt on her. I might love anything on her, I think. I couldn't help myself from trying again and hoping she forgave me. I couldn't help myself from getting rejected again. I couldn't help myself from fucking up, again.

I close my eyes, sighing and rubbing the bridge of my nose in frustration. Why didn't I accept her advances when I had the chance? I don't even know anymore. I think it might have been out of respect somehow. I knew how she felt about me and I felt honoured. But also, I knew I didn't exactly feel the same way. She doesn't deserve a relationship like that. Hazel deserves better. She deserves the kind of love that makes her whole world spin. I bet Neil could give her that. I scrunch my nose at the thought. Another reason I didn't accept her advances, I have to admit, is ego. It felt good. Being loved that way. One-night stands don't give you that. Or if they do, it's not love, only blind admiration. I liked the comfort of always having someone to love me, whatever I did.

"You alright, Vince?" a player asks.

I open my eyes and sit back normally, coming back to reality. I down my glass.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Ay, Vince!" Aaron calls, seeing I'm responsive again.

I nod at him and refill my glass with beer from the jug.

"Plan on getting laid tonight?" He wiggles his eyesbrows.

I cringe. "Nah."

He shrugs at me and suddenly smirks.

"I bet Neil's gonna get some." Aaron motions the door where Neil and Hazel left.

My fist clenches around my glass. I look away in an effort to not punch him. Aaron takes it as an hint to keep going.

"Maybe he's going to loosen Hazel a bit for me," he says, chuckling at himself.

I'm about to jump over the table and smash his face real good when Parker does it for me. He grabs Aaron's shitface and slams it against the table so hard he passes out. The table falls silent. Parker shrugs nonchalantly but I see him huff in anger.

"Can't stand him sometimes," he says, pointing at Aaron's limp body.

The players drunkenly cheer in agreement. The coach has left, I didn't even notice when he did. I lean down against the table. My mouth has a bitter taste. I can't pretend it's not because of what Aaron said. I'm not worried about him getting with Hazel. She wouldn't stoop that low. But instead, I can well imagine Neil being her type. I can imagine them close, closer than I've ever been with her. I feel sick in my stomach and it's not the alcohol.

"God, I really need her back," I conclude in an unintelligible mumble, passing out on the wooden table.