NOT What They Were Looking For...

Chapter 12 - I Can't Help Him

btw uh testy goes by she/he/they/it/xe now cuz headcanon (im to lazy to edit it in the other chapters)

oh and balloon and most of the people think leafy's pronouns are she/her when their actually she/they (headcanon)

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Leafy POV
I woke up in the middle of the night. I slowly sat up and looked around. It was about midnight. I'm not sure. I don't remember. Everyone else was asleep. Expect Firey. Of course. I was still sitting up. I wasn't tired. I was looking at the stars, trying to remember when I fell asleep. I don't remember. I brush it off and thought about going back to sleep when I heard Firey say something.

"I did you a favor, that bitch was holding you back." Who was he talking to? I slowly and quietly stood up and took a step towards him. "B-But she was my friend-" "Was she? I mean, most of those words were from you, not me." "Stop lying! You did this, not me!" This was weird. Is he having a conversation with himself? What's wrong with him. I took another step. "Well maybe if you would've listened to me, I wouldn't have done this." "Why would I listen to you?" "I have more power than you may think Firey, and if you want to any of you live, you will let me take control." He sighed. "Okay, but can it wait until morning?" "Hmm, fine." The other voice seemed to have stopped talking. What is going on with him? I took 5 more steps. I was a few feet behind him. "Hopefully she won't hurt my friends more." He started to lay down and I went back to my side of the boat.

What the hell? Who is this 'she'? Controlling? Who is controlling him? This is weird. What kind of sick person would do this? How are they doing this? Why? Why do this? Was the Firey I was fighting with the real Firey or not? This is so confusing. Okay so if the Firey I was fighting with wasn't the real Firey, then does he still wanna be friends? Ugh, this is making my brain hurt. I can't ask him in the morning because he'll be controlled again or something. I hope he's okay. He's like my brother and siblings are supposed to love and help each other. But he needs help, and I can't help him...

Balloon POV
I woke last. I yawned. Everyone else was trying to steer the boat using basically anything they could. Everyone expect Nickel. He was sitting in the corner farthest away from me. He wasn't facing me. He was sitting down and was writing in something? I couldn't really tell from here. I left my glasses on the island. I wanted to go over there and talk about yesterday (and that I like him too) but I decided to try and help everyone steer. It's more important that we find an island than me confessing to Nickel. They were using Leafy at the moment and she was really close to drowning. I tried to turn Leafy to the right when Firey pushed me out of the way and rolled his eyes. Rude. "Um, you didn't have to do that." "You were being annoying." "Wha- How?" "By being a bitch. That's how." He turned around and tried steering again. I gave up on trying to help them. I walked to my corner moving a bit closer to Nickel without him noticing. I was close enough to see what he was writing.

It looked like a diary? He was writing about me..? Well that's kind of understandable. He confessed to me! He probably thinks I hate him now. He closed the book with his foot and sighed. He went to go try and help the others. I grabbed the book and started to look for page he was just writing in. Turns out there are a lot and I mean a lot. He had this book since season one! This whole book wasn't even a diary, it was just all about me. From when I was rude in season one to this very moment. Well, not really. There's a big gap between when season one ended and when me and Nickel were eliminated. I guess he just forgot about this for a while. Since then he kept on writing in this book. Every. Single. Day. It was cute to be honest. There was a one of these that he had wrote this season that some what shocked me.

Dear Diary, well this isn't a diary. I don't know why I keep saying that. Anyways, today Box made me help Balloon in the challenge for NO REASON and now I'm sharing a bunk bed with him. Greatttt. Box keeps on saying that 'if you just give him a chance maybe you can be friends. Or even something more!' WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?? There's NO WAY I'd ever have a crush on Balloon. I mean he's so annoyingly cute. HE'S PROBABLY ACTING LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE JUST TO MESS WITH ME. He always talks in that cute voice with his cute annoying balloon string tail and his stupid smile. And his cute face with his freckles and his...   oh my god. NOPE GOODNIGHT DIARY.

When he first started liking me. That's enough reading for today. I close the book and look up to realize the sun is setting. How long have I been reading for? Everyone was getting ready to sleep when I saw Nickel looking for something. Shit, the book. If I don't give it back to him then he'll think he lost it but if I do give it back to him it'll be super awkward because I haven't confessed yet. Y'know what? Fuck this. I quickly pulled out a pen and flipped to the latest page. I wrote down 'I love you too :)'. I closed the book and pulled next to Nickel with a smile. He just stared at me with his face getting redder. I went into my corner and went to sleep.

Nickel POV
Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT. HE PROBABLY READ THE WHOLE THING. OH GODDDD. I quickly opened the book to see if anything was damaged. It looked okay. Hopefully he didn't read it. I flipped back to the page I was writing in before but found a little note at the bottom. 'I love you too :)'. Oh...

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