Finn

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Five

After Turin finished getting me ready, he led me out of the safety of his room and into the depths of the pack house. I had only left the room briefly to visit Doc in the past week, and the idea left me sweating. I wished I could change back into my sweats and curl up on the beanbag and ignore the rest of the world for another day. Anything to avoid the prying, curious eyes of the pack as they watched Turin and I descend the stairs.

Everyone had gathered in the living room to wait for us, all dressed up in formal outfits in varying shades of blue. It had been Cillian's favorite color, and Rory insisted everyone dress up to honor him.

The whole pack seemed to fall quiet as we entered the room. I didn't blame them for staring, or for being curious. Everyone wanted to know what had happened to me, and I had given them nothing to go on. But it didn't matter what I had to say. It wouldn't change what happened. It wouldn't bring Cillian back.

Turin walked a few steps ahead of me, careful to lead the way while giving me space. The ceremony was being held outside, despite the chilly mid-January air. Rory told me it was important for them that it be held in nature and under the moonlight. The cold didn't bother them, which is why she picked out a long sleeved dress for me. It's also why Turin stopped at the front door to carefully help me pull thick boots onto my socked feet, and a large coat over my dress.

"The ceremony isn't very long, but let me know if you get too cold, okay?" Turin told me as he zipped up the jacket. I nodded, though we both knew I wouldn't be saying anything.

"Finley!" Rory's voice appeared behind me, and I heard her heels click against the wooden floor as she hurried over. I turned to see her and Nolan wrapped around each other, both grinning at me, "you look great. I love your hair."

I glanced at Turin, watching his cheeks heat slightly at her words. Something told me he didn't advertise his talents with hair.

"Everyone ready?" Turin addressed the other pack members gathering in the living area, waiting for the ceremony to start. After he was met with a chorus of agreements, Turin sent me a small smile and pulled the door open.

The cold air blasted my face immediately, and made me suck in a sharp breath. A shiver ran down my spine, but I ignored it. I needed to do this, for Cillian. Who cares about a little cold?

I let Turin lead me out of the house, the rest of the pack filing close behind us. The clearing in front of the house had been decorated with tons of wildflowers, scattered about the snow and creating a large circle. There were several tall torches around the outer circle that lit up the space with a soft, flickering light. But the moonlight was the true star. It seemed to shine directly into the circle, acting as a spotlight to the event.

If it hadn't been for the casket set up on a table in the middle of the clearing, it would have been beautiful.

The pack was silent as they walked. Turin led me to the very middle before taking his place next to the table. The rest of the pack gathered in a circle around him, standing a few feet away. Rory and Nolan separated and stood on either side of me, hovering close by without touching me.

"Today we are gathered to honor and celebrate the life of Alpha Cillian." Turin's voice broke the silence that had fallen over the clearing. His voice was loud, echoing throughout the clearing. It was so different from the soft tones he used with me. This was the voice of a leader, infused with the strength he was offering to every member of the pack.

"While his time here with us was taken from us, Cillian lived a long life, and accomplished much in his time. He created the Lonn pack based on the idea of equality. He saw every wolf as worthy of opportunity and strength, no matter their bloodline." Turin continued on, his voice never wavering in strength. I heard Rory sniff next to me, and I had no doubt tears were already streaming down her face. But I couldn't look at her, or at Turin. My eyes were fixed on the closed casket a few feet in front of me.