Love is a choice (Benedict Bridgerton)

19. A Million Dreams

Song: A Million Dreams by Midnite String Quartet

- NANCY GRIFFITHS -

Growing up, before I even became an impressionable young lady as one might call it, I watched the ton and how the season of courtship operated. They teach the young ladies to believe that there is nothing more fulfilling in life than finding yourself a husband who possesses wealth and that it is a woman's only duty to wed and bare children into the world.— But I think it not true.

If a man can do as he pleases, why not a woman?

I received tons of disapproval from the upper class. They were completely repelled by someone like me joining their society and tried everything in their power to cast me away. Yet as one might see, they have failed terribly. It was the ton's despise and torment that has strived me to the success I have today and the success I know I will accomplish in the future.

They thought I was insane for not liking the lifestyle I was eventually given after the passing of my parents; The lifestyle of balls, courtship and meaningless conversation, but if there is anything my mother has taught me, it is that we all have the right to follow our dreams. We only need to work hard and fight hard for it if we are truly willing for it to happen.

And damn it, was I willing...

I stand before the grave of my parents and put down a bouquet of flowers. The last one for a while.

"They would have been so proud of you, dear." Lady Danbury says as she locks her arms with mine.

"Do you think I made the right choice, Lady Danbury?" I quietly ask. "-with Mr. Bridgerton?"

"If I may be honest, dear, I do not think I am in the proper position to answer your question. Perhaps you should ask yourself that."

"I have... A million times in my mind, but the problem is, no matter how hard I try, I cannot come up with a clear answer."

The dowager countess nods. "Mhm... And what does your heart tell you?"

I stay silent for a moment. My heart has been quite silent on the matter. Or perhaps I cannot seem to distinguish on what it is my mind tells me to do and what my heart desires.

"Ask me tomorrow." I smile. "Thank you for coming with me, Lady Danbury."

"You did not actually think I was going to stay home while I have the choice to cherish all the time I have left with you."

On the verge of tears, I let go of her arm, as the dowager countess opens her arms to me.

"Oh child! I am going to miss you very much!" She mutters as she gently pats my back in our embrace. "Without you, I have no one but myself to argue with."

Sometimes, I like to believe that my parents are still watching over me and have sent Lady Danbury into my life as a way of taking care of me. She has truly been a mother in all times when I needed one.

"You must visit me in Paris soon, okay?" I mutter.

"Of course, dear!– Now," She exclaims, pulling away. "I believe we have one more stop to visit before you leave tomorrow."

•

As the carriage stops in the streets of Bloomsbury, Lady Danbury squeezes my hand. "Give Mr. Sharpe my best regards." She says before our footman opens the door for us.

I nod, getting out and walk towards the printer shop where I notice Theo carrying boxes after boxes inside. Kind of like how my father used to.

"Mr. Sharpe." I call grinning.

Theo quickly turns around with widen eyes at the sight of me. "Nancy!" He greets before walking up to me. "I was afraid you would not be able to see me before you leave!"

"And miss the chance of bidding my dearest friend goodbye?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

Theo laughs. "When do you leave?"

"I leave tomorrow."

"Ah... How exciting it must be. Were you able to say goodbye to Mr. Bridgerton?"

I feel my stomach flutter at the mention of Benedict Bridgerton and frown. "What do you mean?"

"I only mean- well, from what I have observed, is that the two of you appeared to be very friendly."

Even Theo was able to see how foolishly close Benedict and I had become over the past few months.

"I see, well, we were able to say our goodbyes yesterday at the Bridgerton ball."

"And that was enough for you?" Theo asks confused.

Now whatever he may imply here, I do not have time for it. I did not even open the letter yet Benedict gave me yesterday. "I did not come here to talk with you about the ton's gentlemen!" I respond with a laugh.

"Riiiight, you came to say goodbye."

"Yes.. and also to give you this."

From my purse, I take out a letter and excitingly hand it over to Theo. With reluctancy, my dear friend accepts before opening it in front of me. "Dear Mr. Theo Sharpe. We would like to inform you that you... have been accepted to the London Academy as a student of literatu–" he stops himself and puts down the letter in utter shock. "How- how..."

"I may have shown your work to some people from the academy. Lady Danbury even gave you a good word to them.– It is a fully paid scholarship."

"Nancy... I cannot accept this– I won't–"

"Mr. Theo Sharpe!– Perhaps you have forgotten that you have been my devoted friend since we were little. Not yet to mention that you even stood by me during the darkest time of my life... You are one of the reasons why I have gotten to where I am today. So, spare me the humbleness because what you have done for me will always be immeasurable."

Theo smiles widely with a shaking head. "You are insane... I do not even know how to thank you."

"How about by living in my house and taking care of it while I am gone?" I suggest before tossing him the keys.

A frown finds its way on his face as he catches it effortlessly. "Are you certain?" He asks.

"I trust no one else.– Now, head back inside and quit."

The corners of Theo's lips curl up before he approaches me with open arms. "You are going to do amazing things, Nancy." He mutters in our brief embrace.

"So are you. Write to me, okay?"

"Always." Theo says as he puts his hat back on with a warm smile, taking his steps backwards. "Now go ahead and see more of the world, Miss Griffiths!" He yells loudly, until finally heading back inside the shop.