The Merciless Stud (Hot Trans Series #3)

Chapter 36

I can't take my eyes off of him as he continued to hum the tune of the song. Malumanay ang pag-kaskas niya sa gitara at ang mga mata'y malalim at namumulang naka-titig sa akin. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. I'm in awe, touched and a little giddy, yes. But everything is still so complicated and I know I shouldn't have the time to entertain such thoughts and feelings. I still have to put up a fight. I can't let my guards down just because he sang to me with that manly and beautiful singing voice of him.

I admit, what he shared to me slightly crushed my walls. Hinding hindi ko inasahan na biglang mago-open up siya nang ganun sa akin. I know that the things I said earlier triggered him so much and I don't know if I should be glad or sad about it.

Noon pa man ay nararamdaman ko na ang tila butas sa pagkatao ni Tyson. The way how he kept the deepest parts of his life all to himself just does not sit right at all. I mean, lahat naman ng tao ay may sekreto at mga bagay na piniling hindi ipaalam sa karamihan. But his... It's unhealthy.

Sa buong panahon na mag-kasama kami ni Tyson ay ni minsan hindi rin naman sumagi sa isip ko ang mag-tanong tanong tungkol sa buhay niya. Especially about his family. I was too busy trying to build our relationship strong that I had no time in other things. I focused more on solidifying our relationship. Sumagi lang naman ang mga iyon sa utak ko noong nalaman kong nag-kita sila ni Eurie. Ang inggit ko sa babaeng iyon at sa lebel ng naging posisyon at kaalaman niya sa buhay ni Tyson ay ang pinaka-malaking dahilan.

Because I want that, too. I want to be a safe space to him, too. Someone he can open his heart out to without having to be afraid of being judged. I want to be a... normal girlfriend. But I guess that will be hard to achieve. I had to fight tooth and nail just to get where I am today in his life. Wishing to be like that of Eurie's level is pure delusion.

Malumanay kong kinurap-kurap ang mga mata ko nang nag-iwas ng tingin si Tyson at inilagay ang gitara niya sa ibabaw ng lamesa. I noticed the slight puffiness of his eyes. Probably from crying earlier. Sumakit ang puso ko.

He then reached his glass of whiskey and drank from it. Bottoms up. He let out a deep sigh and stood up. Hinubad niya ang sandong suot at ipinatong sa sandalan ng silya ng lamesa. I watched him turn to me and cracked his neck. I can't help but appreciate his manliness.

"B." He called as he walked towards the bed. Nasa may kaliwang bahagi ako nang kama kaya umikot siya patungong kanan upang tumabi sa akin. Hindi ako gumalaw at nanatiling naka-harap sa kaliwang bahagi ko.

Napa-igik ako nang pumulupot ang kanang kamay niya sa tiyan ko. Naka-balot ako ng comforter ngunit nagawa niya pa ring puluputin ako ng bisig niya. Pumikit na lamang ako lalo na nang maramdaman ang pag-halik niya sa leeg ko. Pagod siyang bumuntong hininga.

I can still feel the horror of his mother's passing. And my disbelief to Eurie's cheating. The guts of that girl! Now I know why Tyson has so much trust issues. As to why he gets so easily jealous and is very territorial. Kung bakit ganun na lang niya tratuhin ang lahat ng lalaking napapa-lapit sa akin kahit na ba'y mga kaibigan lang naman. He's carrying a baggage and it had become somewhat an insecurity of his.

But then, even if I truly understand him, I really still need to try to at least put up a fight. I pity him, yes. I feel for him, of course. But that shouldn't be the reason for me to give in.

"Do you want to sleep again? Talk to me, please." Bulong ni Tyson sa leeg ko. He started to shower my neck with little kisses and I tried hard to be unbothered. Umiyak man ako nang bongga kanina habang nago-open up siya pero hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutana ang ginawa niya.

Gumalaw ako upang mas tumalikod sakaniya at agad ko rin namang naramdaman ang pag-higpit ng yakap niya sa akin mula sa likod. He grunted.

"Buttercup." He called again. Amoy na amoy ko ang pinag-halong facial wash at whiskey sakaniya. He smells so damn manly and it's already making wonders to my being.